Jack O'Neill milled about the Cromwell living room, nodding at the odd familiar face. He had recently been released from the infirmary after the ordeal with the blackhole. Dr. Frasier had been reluctant in letting him leave the base alone, but Jack had give her a convincing argument and told her he'd be back in 48 hours.
So he had made it in time for Frank Cromwell's funeral, and now here he was post-funeral, feeling rather uncomfortable. He had yet to approach anyone, besides Trish, Frank's wife, and no one else had come near him. O'Neill was tempted to leave when he felt a hand on his right arm. He turned and was surprised at who it was.
"Sara," Jack breathed out. His ex-wife gave him a tentative smile.
"Hi Jack, long time no see."
"I've been..."
"'Busy', I know," Sara finished, her smile now rueful. "Remember Jack, I lived with your work for 12 years." O'Neill mirrored her smile.
"I didn't know you were going to be here," Jack said after a minute.
"Trish and I have kept in contact over the years. I was actually over here when she got the call about Frank." She paused. "I understand that he was working with you when he..."
"Uh, yeah," Jack interrupted, looking away uncomfortably. Sara laid a hand on his arm again.
"I'm sorry, Jack." He looked back, his pain noticeable to her. "Why don't we go get some coffee somewhere?" she suggested.
"Sure," he replied. Jack didn't really feel like being here any more, and if it would make his wife feel better...
[*Ex*-wife, O'Neill,] his inner voice stated.
Jack and Sara said their goodbyes to Frank's wife, then left for the closest coffee shop.
***
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Sara queried as they were served their coffee. Jack smiled his thanks to the waitress, then glanced at his ex-wife before looking down at his coffee.
"You asked me here."
"You didn't have to come," she prodded. Jack looked up, his expression showing that Sara had won.
"You want to know what happened with Frank and I," he stated.
"I know you can't give me details on the mission, but yes, I would like to know if you two settled anything." She paused, watching him. He didn't say anything, so she continued. "You and Frank were such good friends. I know how much you were hurt by his decision, but he was hurt too."
"Yeah, so he told me," Jack said, finally speaking again. Sara reached across the table and took his hand in hers. Jack looked at their hands, then at Sara. His expression was that of a man tired of fighting, tired of hiding the pain and hurt.
"We talked about all that happened, or should I say we yelled about it," Jack continued. "We got it all out in the open, but I'm not sure if we 'settled' anything. I'm still angry with him, but... I think during our last moments together, I did forgive him a bit. I just wish we could have had more time..." Jack trailed off, looking away from Sara.
"Jack," Sara said, trying to get him to look at her. He glanced briefly in her direction, only to indicate that she should continue if she had something more to say. "You can't keep thinking of what you might have done. You did what you could with the time you were given." Jack looked at Sara, surprised at her statements. It seemed like no time ago she was holding on to the past, but here she was telling *him* not to do that.
"I know it's difficult to let go of the pain and regret, I've been there," she continued, "but keeping it all in will only hurt you more." Jack nodded.
"I know, and I thought I had dealt with it..."
"Jack, I hate to tell you this, but you very rarely 'deal' with your feelings." Sara gained raised eyebrows from Jack at this statement. "Don't give me that I look. I know you Jonathan O'Neill. You prefer to hide behind a sarcastic wall than to admit to feeling anything deeper than general disdain or tolerance for others."
"You're being a bit harsh, Sara," Jack commented.
"No, I'm not, I'm being honest." Jack was again surprised by his ex-wife. She was definitely changed from the last time he had seen her. She actually seemed to be closer to the Sara he had fallen in love with all those years ago.
"You're hiding from any real feelings because you're afraid to get hurt, and to you that's equal to failure, something you hate." Jack contemplated Sara's words. He knew deep down that she was right, but he didn't know how ready he was to admit it.
"Jack, I know this isn't easy, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you in any way.." she started, worried that she had maybe gone too far when he hadn't spoken.
"No, it's okay. I know you're just trying to help." She smiled softly at him, squeezing his hand. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, just enjoyed a companionable silence.
"So, what have you been up to since I last saw you?" Jack asked.
"I've been getting back into work, meeting people..."
"'Meeting people'?" he queried, making Sara blush.
"Yeah, some work friends."
"Good friends?" he teased. Sara shook her head at his teasing.
"That remains to be seen," she replied, a smile reaching her eyes as Jack looked surprised. "What?"
"Well, I just after the last time..." Jack fumbled, waving his hands. Sara giggled.
"Jack, you're getting flustered." O'Neill went to protest, but Sara stopped him with a hand on his mouth. "Don't even try to argue with me on this, Jack." He shrugged, removing her hand.
"I didn't figure I could," he replied, his mouth quirking briefly into a grin, then looking serious. "Is he a good guy?"
Sara smiled softly. "Yeah, he's a good guy." She paused momentarily. "So, what about you?"
"What do you mean?" he responded, feigning innocence. Sara gave him a look.
"C'mon Jack, you know what I mean."
"I, uh... no, I'm not." Sara raised an eyebrow at his response.
"Oh really?"
"Why do you sound like you don't believe me?"
"Just the way you looked when you answered."
"Which is?"
"Like someone who's not entirely sure of whether or not they have met someone who they want to get to know better." Jack looked down at his hands. She did know him too well.
"Maybe." Sara reached out to him again, just covering his hand. "Is it that blond officer?" Jack looked up at her, very surprised. Were his thoughts that obvious? "I'm right, aren't I."
"I'm not really sure of what's going on, to be honest," he finally replied.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" she queried, her tone understanding. Jack gazed at her quizzically. "I remember when we first met, you were so confused. Hell, *I* was confused. There you were Mr. Macho Military Man, someone entirely not my type, and me, an independent, free spirit, definitely not your type," she paused as Jack chuckled at her description, then continued. "Yet I was falling for you, and you were falling for me. If you recall, we both fought our feelings for a long time. We were too afraid to let go of our preconceptions of what we thought was right for ourselves. I can see that in you now." Sara stopped there, seeing an expression of realization come across Jack's face. She gave his hand a reassuring pat, then got up, smiling.
"Where are you going?" Jack asked, coming out of his thoughts.
"I'm going home. You need to be alone, to think. Good luck. I'll see you around," she told Jack, leaning towards him and kissing him on the cheek before she left.
Jack sat there in contemplation for a few minutes after Sara had gone. It was strange how he hadn't seen it before, or at least he didn't want to admit to knowing it was there. Sara was right, he was developing feelings, *deep* feelings for Sam, ones he tried to keep buried because of their positions at the SGC. He had had it drilled into him that fraternization was frowned upon, especially so between a commanding and junior officer. And it had been fairly easy to comply with that rule over his years in the air force, but that was before he had met the frustratingly stubborn, yet incredibly intelligent and beautiful, Samantha Carter. She was like a breath of fresh air, someone that constantly challenged him on several levels. And deep down inside, more than anything or anyone, he loved her.
"Shit," he swore quietly, gaining a few curious looks from the other customers. Jack decided it was time he should leave. His coffee was done, and he needed to do a bit more thinking, in private.
Jack got up from his seat, leaving enough money for the coffees before he left the restaurant, headed for home.
THE END
Story Notes: Author: Siobhan Gormley (aq806@freenet.carleton.ca)
Rating: G-ish
Classification: Sam and Jack romantic indications
Summary: Jack meets up with Sara after Frank Cromwell's funeral. Takes place directly after "A Matter of Time".
Required reading: "Contemplations"
Spoilers: "A Matter of Time", "Cold Lazarus"
Distribution: The S&J fic archive, Heliopolis, and my site (http://members.tripod.com/~Web7thLevel/TVLAND/pfa.html)
Feedback: Love it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story. I intend no infringement in the use of the characters, who incidentally belong to Gekko, Double Secret, and MGM, and I make no money off of writing this story. It is simply for my, and hopefully the reader's, enjoyment.
Author's note: I know that Sam isn't a main player in this particular fic, but there is discussion of her, and it does follow-up on "Contemplations" a bit, as well as leading into "Christmas Revelations", so I ask the indulgence of the S&Jers in sending this to the samandjack list. =)
Rating: G-ish
Classification: Sam and Jack romantic indications
Summary: Jack meets up with Sara after Frank Cromwell's funeral. Takes place directly after "A Matter of Time".
Required reading: "Contemplations"
Spoilers: "A Matter of Time", "Cold Lazarus"
Distribution: The S&J fic archive, Heliopolis, and my site (http://members.tripod.com/~Web7thLevel/TVLAND/pfa.html)
Feedback: Love it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story. I intend no infringement in the use of the characters, who incidentally belong to Gekko, Double Secret, and MGM, and I make no money off of writing this story. It is simply for my, and hopefully the reader's, enjoyment.
Author's note: I know that Sam isn't a main player in this particular fic, but there is discussion of her, and it does follow-up on "Contemplations" a bit, as well as leading into "Christmas Revelations", so I ask the indulgence of the S&Jers in sending this to the samandjack list. =)
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]