***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ I - The Reconnaissance... *****
I don’t even remember how we got into this mess. When I think about it, I realize it began just like every other mission through the ‘gate. We stepped through and we watched, and observed, and we waited for an alien attack, an ambush, a welcome, something…anything. But nothing came. So we continued on our way through the plains and valleys until we found a village.
*****
We’re all taking position behind the bushes, Carter beside me and Teal’c and Daniel a little further to our right, behind another bush. This is the best observation spot we could find to examine the village without being seen, but I don’t feel it to be very effective. I get the binoculars out of my jacket pocket and take a look. The village looks small but peaceful. Made me first think of Edora but I didn’t mention it to anyone, they would have made a face at me. Even if, frankly, I don’t know why. I mean it’s not like it was my fault. Anyway, the village looks kinda medieval though, as far as my knowledge of history goes. The houses are built with yellow stones and the roofs are made of tiles.
"What do you think?" Daniel asks as he observes the village from his side.
"I don’t see anyone near by. They’re probably working in the fields or something" I suggest, remembering how on Edora everybody worked in the fields to get subsistence.
"Or not" Carter says and she lifts her chin towards the village.
She’s right. It’s like the entire village is coming back from the same place. All at once. There is about a hundred people there.
"Perhaps they were part of a religious ceremony" states Teal’c with his usual calm.
"There’s only one way to find out."
I get up and make my way onto the muddy streets.
*****
They seem to be peasants. They don’t say anything as we enter their village and make our way through the scattered crowd. They watch us walk, most of them with a threatening expression. I see a woman with bags in one hand and the other on the head of her kid, who’s completely into her skirt. I try a smile but he pushes further behind her. I can’t say I don’t understand his feeling. They don’t make any move towards us, only watch us invade their privacy. I glance at Daniel and he begins his introduction speech, the usual speech.
"Hi! I’m Daniel Jackson, this is Sam Carter, Jack O’Neill and Teal’c", he says as he indicates us with his finger. "We’re peaceful travelers from a planet called Earth, we came from the Stargate."
This got a lot of whispering from the crowd.
A man about fifty years old steps forward. He’s tall, about Teal’c’s size and he wears a light beige shirt with brown pants. Not forgetting the very cool straw hat he wears on his head. I *have* to get one of those.
"Qu’est-ce que vous voulez?"
Daniel frowns. I didn’t understand a word the man said, but judging by the tone it wasn’t welcoming.
"It’s French." Daniel says, still frowning.
"French?" Great! Just what we needed. "Well tell him we come in peace!" I tell him, exasperated.
"I can’t."
"What do you mean ‘I can’t’?"
"I don’t speak French."
"You speak 23 languages and you don’t speak French??"
Carter steps forward.
"I do."
Our heads all turn to look at her.
"You speak French?" I ask in disbelief.
"Yes." She says as she takes off her cap and ruffles her hair. "It’s been a while but I think I can manage a basic conversation."
I wave my arm inviting her to talk to the man who hasn’t moved an inch.
"Alright" she says to herself. "You can do this...."
Then she speaks louder and all eyes are on her.
"Mmm....Nous...venons...en paix." She finally says as she lifts her hand to show they’re empty.
The crowd whispers again.
"Alors soyez les bienvenus." The man says.
Carter turns to me with a broad smile: "he welcomes us."
We follow the man into his house and he makes us sit in the rustic chairs around the table. I take a look at the windows and I see that the whole town has stuck its nose onto the glass. This must be new to them. Travelers coming here.
"I do not believe this planet was visited by the Goa’uld O’Neill. The villagers would not have welcomed us as easily."
"Teal’c’s right." Daniel adds. "If the Goa’ulds had been here, the people would be terrorized."
The man puts a bowl on the center of the table and inside there’s bread. He invites us to eat by a gesture of his hand, Carter takes a slice and smells it. Scientists.
"Carter?"
"Yes sir?"
"What are you doing?"
"He said we should eat. Maybe we should. For diplomacy’s sake."
"Ok, let me put it to you another way. We’re strangers, we have powerful weapons and if they know about the Goa’ulds then they recognized Teal’c. I don’t know about you but if I were them I wouldn’t want us around for lunch.
"You think they wanna poison us?" Daniel asks, half-incredulous half scared.
"I’m just saying..." Yeah...what I’m *not* saying is that I wouldn’t want any of us eating some sort of wedding cake or something...Once is enough.
Carter puts the bread back into the bowl with a sigh - she was probably hungry - and the man looks what? Worried? Insulted? Panicked? His eyes are wide open and so is his mouth. Carter gets his expression and talks to him, which seems to relax him a bit. At least his mouth is closed now. And then he smiles. I wonder what she told him.
*****
The meeting with the man was so boring I practically fell asleep on my chair before Carter threw me out of the house. She was - and still is - the only one to understand what the hell this man is saying and therefore she’s the only one to be interested in that meeting. So right now Daniel, Teal’c and I are sitting outside the house, on the grass and the passing people glare at us as if we were aliens. Well...we are, from their points of view. We still hear Carter and the man - I still don’t know his name - talking inside. And sometimes some laughing. Ya gotta wonder what’s going on in there. Just as I’m about to get up and see, the door opens and Carter gets out of the house and comes to sit just beside me.
When she turns to look at me, her eyes twinkle and she has this huge smile crossing her face. Ok, that’s exactly the expression she wears when she’s found the solution to a problem she’d been working on.
"What?" I finally ask her.
"What they have on this planet is amazing sir!"
There we go. Now she won’t stop...
"What’s that?"
She sits more in front of me and straightens her back, just like she does when she’s preparing herself to explain me something.
"Apparently, there are alchemists on this planet."
"Alchemists?" I ask.
Daniel steps in. "Yes, alchemists are people who try to transform metals into gold."
"But the interesting thing is, according to this man, they have succeeded here."
"And you bought into this?" It’s more of a statement than a question, but I’m surprised by my usually little skeptical scientist here.
"He says that many years ago, a young man, an apprentice alchemist, found the elixir that would change the metal into gold, and ever since, the alchemy is what makes the wealth of the king and his lords."
"There is a king here?" Daniel asks.
"Yes. This is a real monarchy Daniel. If you understood what the man said, you would be jumping up and down right now. This society is amazing, really."
"Really..." I reply sarcastically as I get up. "Carter, all I can say is you’re spending too much time with Daniel."
She just smiles as she looks at me, blocking the sun from her eyes with her hand.
"So I take it you wanna stay here and take a look at that magic potion right?" I ask but already knowing the answer.
Her smile gets even brighter and the twinkle in her eyes shines as much as the sun in her hair.
"Ok..." I say as I nod. "Teal’c, you’re with me, we’re gonna send a message to Hammond saying we’re gonna stay here longer than first expected. Carter, you try and learn where we could find the stuff. Daniel...try to learn French."
And I’m off to the ‘gate with Teal’c on my heels.
*****
To say that Hammond was surprised by Sam’s excitement over something new would be lying. I think he even anticipated it. He listened to everything I said very patiently but I think he knew already. It’s not like this kind of thing doesn’t happen regularly. With Carter and Daniel in my team, I’ve come to be used to that. And so has Hammond.
Anyway, finally back to the village, I see that Carter and Daniel have followed my orders, seated on the ground, with villagers around and in front of them, some of them talking. Carter would laugh and then speak to Daniel and he would smile too.
When I approach a little bit more, I realize they aren’t *really* following my orders. I can’t quite understand what Carter is saying, but according to Daniel’s "don’t forget when we done that...", I can assume that she is telling these people some of our missions.
I sneak up on her and she is so into her story that she jumps when I talk.
"What did I miss?"
"Sir!" she says as she gets up. "What did the general say?"
"He gave the ok to stay as long as we need."
"That’s great!" she says and she relaxes a little, her shoulders losing their military tension. "This place sounds amazing."
"What about you Daniel? Learned to speak French yet?"
He gives the ‘it’s not funny’ look. What? Isn’t he supposed to be a linguistic genius? Ok, maybe 45 minutes is not long enough to learn a language, even for a genius.
"So what have you found out?" I ask Carter.
"Well, of course, the villagers here don’t know the formula for the elixir." She explains.
"If they did they wouldn’t be working here."
"Right." She agrees. I love being right...
"So..."
"So we have to...."
She’s cut off by the noise of horses entering the village. A lot of them. We all turn to look at the newcomers. To our amazement, the entire village kneels and bows heads. We do the same, wouldn’t want to offend anyone now would we?
One of the newcomers is a man, looking in his early 40s on a big white horse, with rich and bright clothes, and beside him, on a huge black horse, there’s a girl about 17 years old, also very wealthy dressed. She wears her loose dark hair at about waist-length, and I must say she’s very good looking. She rides sidesaddle and I have to admit it seems to work on her. Even at her young age, there is something about her presence that tells everything about her. She’s important, that’s easy to tell. And all the others are, as far as I can tell, their escort. Carter brings her head closer to mine, and, still looking at the newcomers from under her fringe, she whispers to my ear.
"The lord of this land".
I nod almost imperceptibly, but she throws me a quick look and I understand it’s neither the time nor the place to crack a sarcastic comment.
The man on the horse begins to speak and I see Carter frown, and from the corner of my eye I see the girl on the horse watching the crowd as if searching for someone. And then every head turns our way. Nice and effective grapevine we’ve got here... The lord, still on his horse, crosses the place, almost running over some of the people, to stop just in front of us. He speaks and Carter gestures me and the others to get up, without looking up. I hate these things. He speaks again but this time it’s the villager who offered us bread who answers. I hate being useless like this. At least if I understood some of the words they said, besides ‘yes’ and ‘no’...but no. I have to relate on Carter - once again - and let her be the ambassador on this one.
The lord gets down from his horse and hands his reigns to one of his escort man. He stands right in front of us and observes us for what seems like an eternity. The man sure is powerful. The kind of man you’d never want to offend in any way, an observer, an analyst, who knows what he does and knows that he does it well. He speaks again, this time quieter and I guess he’s talking to us. I look at Carter and she already answered him, she’s nodding. Then she glances at me from the corner of her eye, teeth clenched.
He talks again, and this time she shakes her head no, then speaks some more. The man nods warily and walks around a bit, always keeping eye contact with at least one of us, as if deciding what he should do with us. Well, I’ve got your answer chico, you let us stay and be friends or you let us go! But he finally stops pacing and nods slowly and then surprisingly enough he laughs.
He just laughs and comes and pats Carter on the back, inviting us to follow him.
*****
"Carter! What the hell is going on?" I say as we make our way towards the escort.
"I don’t know sir!" She answers truthfully. "He just asked me the standard questions, where we come from, if we come in peace, and all that. Then he just laughed and invited us to follow him."
"What do you say Daniel?"
"I say we do as he asks". He answers, and I don’t even know why I asked him in the first place. I knew what his answer would be, why did I even bother?
"The thing is, sir," Carter begins, whispering, "he’s a lord, therefore he probably knows the formula for the elixir. Or at least someone in his proximity does."
"Why?" I’m not sure I understand where this is going.
"Because if he didn’t than he wouldn’t be lord."
"Sam has a point." Daniel adds.
"Yeah, ok. We play along."
"Now we just have to wait for them to find us horses and we’re off with them" she adds.
We stop walking when we’re just beside the horses. I spot the rich girl right beside the now mounted lord and she’s watching me. The same observant and piercing look as the lord. Then it hits me. The similarity of their royal postures, the same green eyes and the same dark hair and dark complexion. The same cold beauty. She’s his daughter, there’s no doubt about that. And she’s still observing me, which makes me kind of uncomfortable. I hold her stare, but there’s no chance in hell that she’s gonna lower her eyes first. I sense it. So I do it and invent some stupidity to say to Carter, to which she smiles.
The same stubbornness...
I’m interrupted out of my reverie when the girl speaks to one of the men of her escort and he gets down and heads my way. Man I gotta get out of here. I go hide behind Daniel who’s still trying to learn French. Poor him. But the messenger comes beside Carter - he probably knows she’s the only one who understands French.
Oh man. He’s talking about me. That much is obvious, he gestures in my way, and Carter looks at me with a frown on her face, which can not be a good sign. Then she comes my way, the man on her heels. Hey you! Don’t look at her that way!
"Sir, apparently Dame Karrigan here wants you as a companion for the ride." She says and I can swear she’s uncomfortable. You’re not alone, Carter...not alone.
"Why?"
She translates to the man, and turns to me again.
"Because she wants it. Sir, with respect, there’s no point in arguing with her. From what I understand she’s spoiled to death and everybody does whatever she wants."
"Don’t you think it’s about time we change that?"
"No sir."
I try a look at Daniel and Teal’c but they both shake their heads no. Ok, I’m beaten.
"Alright. Tell him I’ll go. But just tell me one thing. What’s the point if I don’t understand a word she says?"
She coughs slightly.
"She assigned me to be your interpreter."
"Oh."
"Yeah..."
"Ok then. Let’s do it." I say. But what I *don’t* say is that I’m glad not to be alone with that girl. There’s something about her...something I can’t put my finger on. I never thought I’d see the day I’m afraid of a 17 years old girl - which I’m *not*.
We silently follow our leader to where our horses are now all ready to go and we mount.
"Are you sure you don’t need me to ride with you Carter? I wouldn’t want you to fall" I can’t help the flirting...what the hell am I doing?
"You think I’m going to fall?" she asks in disbelief, her eyebrows up and her eyes incredulous.
I just shrug, a smug grin on my face.
"I dare you to race against me Colonel."
This time it’s me who looks at her incredulously.
"What right now?"
She shrugs.
"Maybe not right now," she looks around at the lord and his daughter, "we’re kind of in the middle of something...but when we’re back home, I challenge you! You wouldn’t stand a chance." She says, trying to hide her smile.
"We’ll see about that."
She squeezes her horse and, with a kissing sound from her mouth, he starts trotting and then galloping. I just look at her, already at the lady’s side.
"You wouldn’t stand a chance" Daniel tells me as he passes by me. And then Teal’c.
Yeah, you’re probably right Daniel...you *are* right. But not about the race... I squeeze my horse forward and after a short gallop, I’m right beside Carter and the lady. I wish she would stop looking at me that way.
*****
The girl, who goes by the charming name of Dame Karrigan, didn’t say a damn word the whole ride. She was riding her giant black horse, chin up, looking straight ahead. So Carter and I decided to start a conversation. But I could tell Karrigan didn’t like it much. Especially not understanding us. She frowned at the beginning and then I could tell she was looking for a way to stop me from talking to another woman than herself. Yeah, well, sorry missy, but I’ll talk to anyone I want to. And right now Carter is good company, and you’re not.
"So, you care telling me how you learned to speak French?" I ask Carter. It’s been bugging me for a while now.
She shrugs and moves a bit on her saddle.
"I just do!"
I give her that look that says ‘don’t take me for dumber than I already am’ and it works. Her voice is one of someone who doesn’t wanna share but does it anyway.
"My mother taught me. She was a teacher. A French teacher, among other things,"
I nod her to go on.
"And she taught both me and Mark, when we were kids."
"Now tell me how come Daniel *doesn’t* speak French."
She laughs. And I notice Karrigan to wince.
"I must admit that’s weird" Carter whispers so that Daniel wouldn’t hear. "He knows every single dead language but not French. We have to ask him sir."
"Yeah...he’s really trying to understand though, and I’m sure he will at the end of this little trip."
She smiles.
"Probably."
*****
We sit on the sumptuous chairs around the table and smile around a bit falsely. After all we don’t know what they want from us. Even though *we* do know what we want from them.
"I think she likes you. Sir."
"Who?"
"Her." She lifts her chin in the direction she wants me to look at.
I glance in the indicated direction and in the corner of the room there’s Karrigan. Silent and serious, just as I’ve always seen her so far. I look at Carter incredulously although I know she’s probably right.
"What? Her??"
"Mm-mm" She mumbles while putting some grains into her mouth. "She keeps looking at you and she blushes every time."
"Yeah... but I could be her father for God’s sake!"
"Tell this to her sir" she says nonchalantly.
I look back at the girl and I catch her staring at me. *Really* staring, but when she notices me looking at her, this time her head turns another way. Where’s the stubbornness? The superiority?
"Feminine instinct?" I ask Carter, still eating her grains, or whatever that is, but she just shrugs.
"No I...I just noticed. Daniel noticed too. He said she’s probably been taught that she has to marry a man when she’s that age, a man much older than she is. Just like in the Middle ages."
"Oh."
"And we practically *are* in the Middle Ages."
"Right."
We’re cut off by the arrival of the first parts of the feast on the table. Apparently in our honor. Yeah, right! I don’t know why but I don’t buy it. Maybe they just wanna feed us so that we taste better when they eat us...Ok, very unlikely, but you never know...
Apparently, the lord wants to talk to us in private after the feast and I must admit we don’t have much choice but to oblige to his request, but I’d rather say ‘order’. It’s our only way to learn what the heck this alchemy is all about.
Karrigan comes to the table and sits beside me, on my left, and Carter is on my right with Daniel and Teal’c beside her. The lord stands up and invites us to eat, with a toast directed at us. Everybody cheers and drinks except us. I’m glad to see my teammates still remember my earlier advice.
When we first arrived in the little castle, or manor, whatever you wanna call it, I was surprised to see it was so small. I would have thought that a lord had a huge castle with round towers and stuff. But no. At least not this lord. As I said before, it was the size of a manor, with absolutely no towers at all. It was made of white stone, which gave a very sophisticated aspect to it, and the roof was blue, with gold ornaments all around. A nice little cottage...
We crossed the gardens that were so symmetrical you could think there was a mirror in the middle of the place. They were full of flowers and trees with a golden statue of the lord in the middle. Nice spot. But even the outside was not as impressive as the inside of the manor. There was gold everywhere, and chairs covered with red velvet surrounded the massive wood table where he gestured us to sit. There were also tapestries covering the walls, most of them showing Ladies and Gentlemen on horses, or in battle. Don’t go thinking I’m a usual fan of these kinda things, but this was fairly impressive. And the feast is no less impressive either. There’s food everywhere on the huge table and basically I can’t reach three-quarters of it. Karrigan still hasn’t said anything, and I don’t really mind. I really have no idea why she picked *me*. I mean, usually girls pick Daniel, the poor cute little archeologist who isn’t able to defend himself - which is not true, by the way. He could very well lay me down in a fair fight, but he always lets me win. I think he believes it helps my ego or something. But it doesn’t. Because I know he’s faking. I wouldn’t have said that at the beginning, but after a couple of years of training with us, he’s finally getting to it. But to get back to Karrigan, I don’t know why she picked *me*...
*****
After the feast, that went relatively well, we were told to wait for the lord and his daughter in one of the castle’s libraries.
Carter and Daniel were so excited at looking at all the books I almost smiled to myself at their childish excitement. Carter was fascinated at the great number of math and physic works among the lord’s collection, and Daniel was fascinated by the archive. As for Teal’c and I, well, we just sat there, exchanging knowing looks when one of the kids exclaimed his/her amazement.
And I got to thinking about the feast...
It lasted a good three hours and we finally couldn’t help but eat, especially after the look of warning the lord threw me. From what I’ve seen so far, he seems to be a man of honor, although appearances may be deceiving. Just like Karrigan who happens to be very nice, actually. I finally decided to talk to her during the feast, because she wouldn’t stop glaring at me, especially when I did some unusual stuff. Joking is the best way to break the ice, so I made a fool of myself to get her to smile. Because I wouldn’t want her - or her father - against me or my team. So when I began to eat a piece of boar or something similar to it, I made some noises that got Daniel to almost hide under the table, Teal’c to raise an eyebrow, Carter to look at me in amusement and Karrigan to laugh. Then I looked up and saw that the whole table was glaring at me with absolute awe, which made the girl laugh even more. The ice was broken.
And then we began to talk, with Carter’s help, of course, and she even ‘showed’ me how to eat boar properly. But her being nice still doesn’t make me wanna marry her, and according to Daniel, that’s what she would want from me. Imagine that...her father is probably younger than I am... So right now I’m kinda stuck. On one hand, I don’t want to give her false hopes, but on the other hand, the more people we’ve got on our side, the better the chance is for us to find the elixir.
Speaking of which...
The lord enters the room, his daughter on his heels and two men on each one of his sides. With a bow of his head, he gestures them to leave and they do, leaving us alone with his highnesses here. Then he makes us seat ourselves again, having stood up when they got in, by measure of respect, and he sits on one of the chairs too, quickly imitated by Karrigan. And, surprisingly enough, she sits beside me. Carter and I exchange a quick look before the lord begins his speech.
I don’t understand what they say so my mind quickly wanders off a bit. My eyes fall on Carter and she looks so nervous I’ve never seen her like this. I guess she’s not the super woman I sometime take for granted she is. From what I can see, she’s not very at ease being the spokesperson for us and I know she feels like she’s taking my job, or Daniel’s, away from us. But I have confidence in her. I know she can do it, even if she doesn’t like it. And I know she *will* do it, because she knows I want her to. Not because I’m her superior officer and I’m ordering her or anything, that wouldn’t be true in that situation (I didn’t insist to stay here) but I know she’ll do it because she feels I trust her as well as her capacities. I’ve learned at least that in the past couple of years we spent together. That and the fact that she’ll never leave me or Daniel or Teal’c or anyone behind even for her own life. She knows all this doesn’t she? I mean I don’t think I ever told her those things, but she must know it right? I sure hope so, because I’ve never been good with words.
Carter stops talking and Karrigan takes her turn. I can’t help but compare the two women. Karrigan is the complete opposite of Carter, on the outside as well as the inside, but they are similar in a strange kind of way. Carter is tall, strong physically as well as emotionally, not forgetting blond with blue eyes, and she doesn’t mind getting dirty and stuff, a bit tomboy, for lack of a better word. But we have so much in common, it’s amazing, really...Who would have thought? A scientist and an old soldier like me have so much in common? But we do, in another strange way. We’re military, that changes a person, and we lived some of the same horror that war makes you wanna die - or live - for. We have the same sense of humor...probably coming from Dad, but she actually is the only one to laugh at my comments.
As for Karrigan...I don’t know her as much as I do Carter, but she’s small, kinda fragile, but so stubborn you can’t even compete with her. Even if Carter does have a fair share of stubbornness of her own too. Karrigan is cold when you don’t know her and she’s a different kind of strong, where Carter is always caring and welcoming. And I say that without thinking of our first meeting...I was the one who pushed her and she got defensive...I would have done the same. But usually, she *is* caring. But to come back to Karrigan, she would make a great queen. I’m pretty sure of it. Not that Carter wouldn’t, but it’s not the same. Karrigan has been taught from the beginning to be serious, to sit with a straight back, and to speak properly, just like a lady is supposed to. She probably never played in the mud - which I’m sure Carter did, a lot, as a kid - or even touched a worm. She’s not a scientist and she doesn’t have that same sparkling curiosity that can be found in Carter or even Daniel. She’s a girl of appearance and I can’t say she’s not good at it. Her stare is intelligent, but not in the same way than Carter’s. She’s cunning, crafty, and I don’t envy the poor future husband.
But what the heck am I doing anyway?? Just as if I actually had the right to judge them. And I don’t. I’m nothing compared to those girls.
I’m brought out of my reverie by the deeper voice of the Lord.
***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ II - The Ambassador *****
At least back then I knew what to think of the situation. We knew what we wanted and we knew what to do. But I guess life doesn’t work that way. That meeting changed everything for us and we couldn’t help but thinking about the ‘what-ifs’...What if Colonel O’Neill didn’t tell Hammond we would stay as long as we wanted? What if I’d done this instead of that? What if I’d said that? What if...what if...
At least back then I knew what to think of the situation.
*****
/"I am sorry Mademoiselle Carter but this is not possible. At least not just yet."/ he says. Yeah right!
/"Maybe you don’t understand our motives sir."/ I try again.
/"Which are?"/
I give a quick look at O’Neill who’s watching me, but his stare is kind of intimidating. It’s not like he’s listening to what I’m saying - which would be a first - he’s just watching. Lost in thoughts. Daniel and Teal’c, on the other hand, are watching but at least I know that they’re trying to get what is being said here.
/"Well...find other civilizations and people who would be happy to help us in our explorations. Find new technology to help us protecting ourselves."/
/"Against who? If I may ask."/
I hesitate for a second. I didn’t want to have to talk about the Goa’uld, not before we could be entirely sure what to expect from these people. But apparently I have no choice.
/"A race called ‘Goa’uld’, mainly."/
/"The g-o-a-u-l-d?"/ he repeats slowly and I just nod.
He shrugs.
/"Never heard of them."/ he says, his piercing green eyes locked with mine.
/"You’re a bunch of lucky people then."/ I can’t help the bitter sound of my voice. This man is killing me here. I feel more nervous than when I first applied to become a member of the SGC. But this time it’s different. I still feel the colonel’s eyes on me and I know I have to do it, because he expects me to, and I will never let him down again. Him or Daniel or Teal’c. They expect so much from me sometimes it’s frightening, but I won’t deceive them. Ever. At least I’ll try not to.
/"And you think our alchemy could help your people? How can gold protect one’s people?"/
/"We are *not* looking for gold sir. We are only trying to find new technology, live new experiences. I think your alchemists could teach us many things, as well as we could do them, but we certainly don’t want your gold."/ I answer truthfully. My eyes fall on the colonel again and I wonder just for a second if *he* wouldn’t want me to get the gold. No I’m sure he doesn’t. He would have said something and he would have been happier to stay here. I’m saying the right things.
/"Isn’t gold a very precious and worthy metal on your...planet?"/
/"It is. But wealth is not what we are looking for."/
/"Why not?"/
Ok. How many times do I have to say I hate this? I hate the situation, I hate taking Daniel’s interpret job, I hate taking the colonel’s leadership job. I so wish he spoke French! But no...I have to be the ambassador on this one. And I hate it. It’s not like the inhabitants were very friendly, or accepted our exchange of knowledge very easily, no, this man is interrogating me like we would do a criminal and I feel like he’s able to read me like an open book.
/"Could you imagine what a big mess this would cause in our society? Everybody becoming rich at once? It doesn’t work that way sir."/
/"What do you want from us then?"/ This time it’s Karrigan who speaks. Her voice sounds clear and lilting compared to the lord’s.
/"As I’ve said before, exchange our knowledge and technology."/ I say as I turn to look at her.
/"Tell me...what do you have to offer us?"/ The lord asks, still observing. I couldn’t feel more out of place.
/"Well...I don’t know! I have physics and scientific knowledge, Dr. Jackson here has great linguistic and historical knowledge, Teal’c has Goa’uld knowledge..."/ I say as I look around at the boys. O’Neill raises an eyebrow at me...Must be wondering what I’m talking about.
/"And Colonel O’Neill has...", I frown, "...is our leader."/ I finally say. God I’m so glad he doesn’t speak French.
The lord nods, lost in thoughts.
*****
"That couldn’t have gone any worse." I say as I sit on the bed, putting my head in my hands. I feel so guilty!
Daniel comes and sits beside me on the bed and rubs my back in a weak attempt of consolation.
"Sam, what’s going on? What did they say?" he asks, his voice full of concern.
I take a deep breath and straighten my back, wiping the tiredness away from my face with my hands. I look at the colonel, looking half concerned half curious at my wave of guiltiness, and then Teal’c who’s frowning and then Daniel at my side, frowning too. They all believe so much in me and look what I do...I mess everything up.
"Carter?" The colonel asks, obviously getting impatient.
I take another deep breath and look at Daniel. He’s the easiest to face right now.
"Alright. Apparently, we have to stay here."
Daniel nods me to go on.
"For how long?" O’Neill asks and Daniel sends him a look. I gesture to Daniel that it’s ok and I look at the colonel.
"I don’t know sir. For a long time."
His eyebrows raise and he walks slowly toward me.
"What exactly is your definition of the word ‘long’ Major?"
I get up at the sound of my rank, joining my hands behind my back. Habits...
"Long sir."
He nods suspiciously, eyes locked with mine. I hate deceiving him. And them.
"What exactly did he say Sam?" Daniel asks, his eyes moving from me to the colonel.
I sit again on the bed and this time bring my knees under my chin to lean on them. This is not the happiest news I ever got to tell those men...I don’t even try to imagine how they’re gonna react...Especially the colonel...He’s the one who gets the worst job.
Rather begin with the relatively good news... I turn to look at Daniel.
"Daniel, as a linguist and scholar, your learning capabilities are to be used in the lab. With the other alchemists. So you can learn the formula but also give your knowledge of Earth to whoever asks you."
He blinks a couple of times.
"Ok...So far it’s not so bad." he says as he looks at the colonel. But *he* knows there’s more to come. I can tell he’s almost holding his breath.
Then I turn to Teal’c.
He stands straight, hands behind his back, his usual stand, but there is a frown on his face.
"Teal’c, you will give your Goa’uld knowledge, as well as your war strategies. It may mean...uh...experimentation."
Oh God I hate this.
Then I look at my CO. He stands in the middle of the room, his arms crossed firmly on his chest.
"Colonel, you get to marry Karrigan to finalize the alliance."
I see him wince but soon enough his expression becomes imperceptible.
"I will not let that happen" he finally states, and I want to believe him, I truly do! But it doesn’t work that way.
"I’m afraid we don’t have much of a choice." I say as flatly.
"What do *you* get to do Sam?" Daniel asks.
"My job is the easiest...And I’m really sorry...I’m gonna give my physics knowledge as well as being the translator. Since I’m the only one to understand and speak French, the Lord and his daughter have assigned me to stay with the lady and Colonel O’Neill as long as they need me, to translate their...courtship."
"Oh." Daniel looks down at his hands on his lap.
The colonel sighs and I know he’s looking for some sort of way to get out of this situation. Believe me sir I’ve tried everything I could think of.
"And what if we refuse?" he finally asks, changing his weight from one foot to the other, his cap in his hands.
"I don’t know what to tell you sir. From what I understood it wasn’t even an alternative option."
He just nods and comes to sit on the bed beside me, Daniel on my other side.
"I take it you’ve tried the ‘we come in peace’ stuff?" he finally says, but he already knows my answer. He seems beaten and I can’t help but closing my eyes and nodding weakly. I feel so bad about all this.
"Alright. I have an idea."
I open my eyes again and look at him, his conviction giving me hope.
"What’s that?" Asks Daniel a bit carefully.
"We’re gonna break out of here!" He says as he gets up.
"I do not believe this evacuation would be as easy as you think O’Neill." Teal’c says.
"Yeah well I say we at least take our chances. We stay a couple of days, study the perimeter, plan our escape and then we’re off!" he announces as he claps in hands together and begins to rub them together.
"Sounds like *a* plan." Daniel says not very convincingly.
I nod.
"It could work if the lord doesn’t suspect us to defy his authority." I say.
"Do you think he does?" The colonel asks.
"Hard to tell sir. He’s been very rhetorical all the way through our...meeting and I think he knows more than he lets on."
"So what are we doing now?" Daniel asks.
"The lord dismissed us for the night. This is our room." I say as I wave my arm around. "I said we would share and not be separated."
"And he accepted this?" The colonel is skeptical...and I don’t blame him.
"Apparently. There is a water room right there," I say as I point the corner of the room, "with a bath and whatever we need. We can also arrange for more beds or something to sleep on."
"You can take the bed Sam" Daniel announces as he gets up to examine our room.
"Daniel?" O’Neill says.
"Never mind Colonel, you guys take the bed. The floor is ok with me. Unless..." I say as I get up too. I walk towards the main door and open it. At least we’re not locked in. I peak my head out into the corridor and there’s someone coming as soon as I’ve opened the door. A man, sword attached at his waist and a girl about 15 years old are coming our way.
/"Hi!"/ I say with a smile and a small wave. The girl smiles and she bows her head. /"I was just wondering if it was possible for us to have a few other beds..."/ I add.
/"Of course. But only one. Would that be enough?"/ she says in a very gentle voice.
I can’t help but accept.
/"I guess so. Thank you very much."/ I say and I close the door again when they’re gone. When I look back in the room, they’re all standing there, looking at me.
"What?" I ask and it seems to wake them. "I managed to get us another bed." I say as I look around the room.
"That’s good," Daniel says as he stares at one of the tapestries on the main wall.
The room is large and, just like everywhere in the castle, there is gold everywhere: on the wall, on the bed, around the windows. The bed is large enough for three people to sleep in and I hope the other bed will be as big. If possible I don’t *really* wanna sleep on the floor. There is a big painting of a very beautiful woman on the wall, above the bed. And surprisingly enough...she looks a bit like me. Not that I think I’m beautiful or anything, but she has blond hair, way longer than mine but the same color. Blue eyes, clear complexion. On the picture she wears a marine blue dress and I must admit it suits her very well. I can’t help the frown on my face.
When I turn back I see the colonel standing there, also looking at the picture, but his eyes travel from me to the painting, just as if he was comparing me. But I’m nothing compared to her; I mean she’s perfect. When he realizes I’ve noticed him watching me, he just raises an eyebrow and smiles sheepishly.
The knock on the door makes me look at it and then return my glance at the colonel.
"Probably our bed." I say and when I realize what I’ve said I frown and try again, a bit embarrassed. "I mean *the* bed."
He just nods. I wonder what that slip meant...
*****
I was the first one to fall asleep. Actually, the term ‘fall’ would be an understatement. I didn’t realize I was that exhausted until I actually lay down on the bed I’d called up. I thought I’d take this moment to think about what was going on, but I don’t even remember *thinking*. I vaguely recall Daniel, Colonel O’Neill and Teal’c talking by the fireplace but that’s all.
The weird thing though was that I spent the night with Colonel O’Neill - I mean, in the same bed - and I didn’t even realize it. Not that it would have made a big difference if it had been Daniel or Teal’c but... And I’ve never had a better sleep than last night. Must be the bed.
I was the first one up. At first I didn’t really remember where I was or who was there, with a strong arm around my waist just as if it belonged there, but then I heard it again, the annoying noise of someone knocking on the door. I got up and, trying not to disturb the boys, I went to the door.
I was so surprised to see the lord himself at our door that I just stood there, not saying anything. He seemed to have forgotten about his bright clothes to put more comfortable ones and I had to admit he looked nice. Tall, dark, rather short hair, green eyes, strong jaw, green shirt and brown pants. He looked nice.
/"Mademoiselle Carter! I trust you had a good sleep?"/ he asks very politely.
And it’s only then that I recovered from my surprise. I thought his servants - or anybody but *him*- would come to wake us. After all, it wasn’t his job.
I got completely out in the corridor and closed the door so as not to wake my teammates just yet.
/"Yes, very, thank you."/ I answered.
/"I came to ask you something."/
I just frowned; I really didn’t know what to expect, especially not at five o’clock in the morning. The sun wasn’t even up yet.
/"I would like you and your friends to accompany Karrigan and myself for a hunting trip. But for that we would have to leave very soon. What do you say?"/
/"Um...sure. I’m gonna wake them up, we’ll be ready in ten sir. Minutes...ten minutes"/ I babbled a bit while opening the door behind me and getting in. The lord just smiled, bowed his head and went back down the corridor.
So that’s how we managed to get here, in the forest, for a hunting trip with the lord, his daughter, and us. The guys weren’t very happy about it at first, but then I told them that it was the lord himself who came to offer us. And Teal’c pointed out that it would be a good time to study our surroundings. So we all got up and went.
/"So Mademoiselle Carter, tell me, why do your people travel through the Ring?"/ The lord asks me as we ride side by side. He has a falcon on his right arm, and so does the colonel, even though he doesn’t seem very at ease with it.
/"Well, I do believe I’ve already told you sir. We’re curious, we like to discover new things, new worlds, new people."/
/"So you told me"/ he answers as he looks ahead.
/"You don’t believe me?"/ I ask in disbelief. I mean I’ve never been more honest in my whole life.
/"Should I believe you?"/ he asks, his eyes piercing mine again. I don’t know why but I feel myself blushing. Where the heck does that come from?
But just as I’m about to answer, someone pulls at my sleeve. I turn on my saddle to look at the colonel with an exasperated look on my face. But I can’t help the grin when I see him with the falcon still on his arm, stretching his arm out as far as he can so the falcon will be the farthest possible from his face.
"Carter, what are you doing?" He asks with a hushed voice.
"Nothing...Talking, I guess."
"What’s with the blush?" He asks as he gestures towards my face. That’s it. Make me blush even more Colonel. Thank you very much. I give him a look and turn back to the lord who’s watching our interaction. I open my mouth to say something and he pulls on my sleeve again. I turn again to look at him, this time annoyed.
"Colonel, you have to let me talk if you want me to discover anything." I say, a bit harshly maybe.
"You’re right. Ok, I’ll leave you alone then." he says as he turns to talk to Teal’c. I sigh.
/"I’m sorry, you were saying Milord?"/ I ask as I turn his way again.
/"Please, call me Léonard, Mademoiselle Carter"/
/"Alright", I say a bit uncomfortably, "Léonard...What’s your last name Milord? I’m afraid you never told me"/ I can’t just call him that. I need to keep my distance. I mean the colonel and I have almost never called each other by our first names and it doesn’t mean we’re not good friends.
/"DuVallois. Léonard DuVallois"/ he says as he bows his head.
"Sam Carter" I say as I extend my hand for him to shake. But very much to my surprise he kisses the back of it briefly.
/"Sam Carter, do you believe your leader will accept my daughter’s hand?"/ he says as he glances briefly at the colonel, still talking and never looking at us. He’s pouting, I can tell.
/"To tell you the truth sir, I don’t think so."/
/"Why? Haven’t you said you wanted an alliance between our two people?"/
/"Yes, but..."/
/"Don’t you think the best way to make an alliance between two people is to marry their leaders together?"/
Just as I’m about to shake my head no and explain my point, the two falcons suddenly fly away, which causes Colonel O’Neill to jump and his horse to panic and throw his rider on the ground. He falls on his back and stays there for a second, without moving.
"Jack! You ok?" Daniel asks, trying to hide his smile.
The colonel only nods very slowly and then opens one eye.
"Are you sure you don’t want me to ride with you Colonel? I wouldn’t want you to fall...again." I say with an innocent smile.
"Very funny Carter", he says, still laid on his back where he fell. "Why don’t you help me up instead of laughing at me?" he adds, but he gets up on his own, caresses his horse and gets back on in a fluid movement.
Seconds later the falcons come back on their respective arms. And Karrigan, who had been silent ever since we left, pushes her horse forward a bit and comes between O’Neill and I. I guess she wants to talk. Sometimes I really wish he would speak French. Maybe I should just teach him.
*****
When Lord DuVallois asked us to go on a hunting trip, I had in mind it was just a one-day stand. But he had other ideas. I learned that we would spend at least two days - one night - in the woods. All the six of us. I don’t really mind, sleeping in the open is fun. Looking at the stars, talking quietly beside a warm fire...All that I have come to cherish when we get out on missions. That and the presence of my friends. I really hope us "working" for DuVallois will not mean "working" separated from each other. But from what I understood of the colonel’s plan of escape, we won’t have much time to find out. I noticed Teal’c closely watching the surroundings, the path we chose along the way, and I know he’s trying to remember all of them. I wonder if they wanna take off tonight.
The campfire in front of me suddenly burns brighter and I’m brought out of my reverie. It’s dark now and it’s time to eat what we caught today, which is a couple of "rabbits" - or something with long ears and no tails. I hope it tastes as good as it smells.
While DuVallois is cooking the...animals, O’Neill, Daniel, Teal’c, Karrigan and I just sit there, all of us lost in thoughts. I look at Teal’c, who is still observing subtlety his surroundings, as well as the lord’s way of cooking the meat. The man is so strong. Not only physically but also emotionally. I don’t think I ever met a man like him. Maybe it’s a Jaffa thing. Even in the military they don’t teach us to be as strong as he can be. Sometimes I envy him. I envy his calm intelligence, the blind trust he has for us, his compassion and his loyalty. Not that I don’t feel any of those things, but there is something so strong emanating from this man that you would gladly put your life in his hands. He feels my glare and he glares back, with a small bow of his and I give him a small smile in return.
Then I look at Daniel, knees brought close to his chest, his arms encircling them. I wonder what he’s thinking about. I’m sure there are so many things going on in his head, but he won’t tell any of them, unless he feels like it’s important for us. Sometimes we have to get the words out of his mouth. Especially for personal matters. Don’t take me wrong, he does talk *a lot* when it gets to mythology and history, but for private discussions, it’s harder to get in. And I don’t blame him. When I think about it, we’re all pretty much like him, except for different reasons. I can’t say that Colonel O’Neill is very much more talkative than Daniel is. In fact, he’s much *less* talkative than Daniel. But as I’ve said, for different reasons. Daniel likes to talk, but I think he just doesn’t want to bore us with his stories, but the colonel, he doesn’t talk because he doesn’t want to.
I take a look at him, leaning on his elbows, looking at the fire with a straw in his mouth. His glare wanders upwards to the sky and the stars. I wonder what he’s thinking about.
Then I hear something coming from behind me. A branch cracking and noises in the bushes. I freeze. I don’t know what that is, but it’s coming towards us. The colonel beside me sits straighter and listens quietly, still chewing his straw. I take a look around and I realize everyone heard it, everyone is on the lookout. Then we hear it again and it sounds like a pig. With teeth. And tusks. The lord gets his bow and is ready to throw an arrow while the colonel, Teal’c and I get our guns.
/"Stay close to the fire"/ the lord whispers, /"It’s a boar, it smelled the meat"/. I gesture to the others to get closer and we all do it, a bit instinctively. We stay put for what seems like an eternity, but we don’t hear the noise again. But I feel it. It’s there, I can tell.
Then everything happens in a blur. The boar comes from behind me and rushes towards me, without making any noise at all. I guess the others don’t hear it coming because they would have shot it already. I just stand there, and milliseconds later it’s on me and I fall back on the ground, dropping my gun in the process. With a strong push of my legs, I get it off me, but it comes back to the charge. It’s only then that I hear gunfire, but they miss it. How could that thing be so fast? I hardly have the time to get up again before it charges again, but when it hears the gun fires it leaves, growling like a pig. It’s running so fast that it took only two seconds to disappear into the woods again. Then everything calms down and I sit back on the ground, my legs shaking. And then I realize I’m wounded. There’s blood on my leg and arm, but I’m on too much adrenaline to be in pain. I just sit there, looking at my soaking clothes.
"Carter!" I hear the colonel shout, rushing my way and kneeling beside me. " You ok?"
I just nod. I feel dizzy...
"Just stay where you are", he says, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I realize it’s also to keep me sat up. The grip is strong and his eyes are worried but he manages to tell a couple of words to Daniel then he looks back at me. My vision blurs for a moment.
"Carter!" he says again, "stay with us, we just have to stop the blood, just stay conscious please." He tells me. When Daniel arrives with some clothing, the colonel hurries in tying them around my arm and leg, but I don’t feel anything. Not yet. I’m too shocked to say anything. I just watch him and I feel my vision blur again, and his hand comes back to my shoulder to harden his grip.
"Stay with us Sam, just a little more" he says as he caresses my hair and cheek with his hand. But I can’t stay awake now. I’m so tired...
And then he releases me and lies me on the ground, near the fire. "There, you can sleep now." He says as he sits beside me. But then my eyelids close and I can’t stop them.
*****
I’ve never had such a hard time in opening my eyes. But in a flash everything that actually made me close my eyes in the first place comes back to mind. A boar attacked us and I went down. I open my eyes a bit more and I see it’s still night, probably the middle of it, from what I can tell. I take a look around and I notice everyone is asleep, except the colonel, who’s playing with a branch in the fire.
He turns sharply towards me when he notices me moving.
"What time is it?" I ask as I’m trying to sit up. But oh god it hurts. I lie back down. He gets closer to me and touches my forehead, probably looking for any signs of fever. He smiles a little after a few moments.
"About 4 hundred. You gave us quite a fright Mademoiselle," he says with a smile as his hand wanders a bit on my forehead and hair.
I try to sit up again and this time he helps me with a hand on my back.
"So what was that thing?" I ask, looking at my bandages and touching the wound through the clothes. I wince. Bad idea.
"Not too deep" he says as his chin lifts towards my wounds, "you were bleeding a lot, but they’re just a few scratches. Our highness here found some herbs that will help with the pain, as well as the recovery." He shrugs at my surprised look. "He gesticulated a lot."
"It was running so fast I didn’t even see it, or hear it coming" I say.
"Hey! Neither did we! I never saw an animal running this fast, plus it was big." he says.
"You think it’s gonna come back?"
"I don’t know...we scared the hell out of it with our guns, but it *was* hungry...otherwise it wouldn’t have attacked you."
"Thanks for the encouragement sir..." I say as I look around. "Speaking of hungry, got any of that supper left?" I ask with a smile.
He grins too as he stretches his arm to get a plate and places it on my lap. My stomach cries out for food as I smell it and then I begin eating. God it feels good.
"Can I ask you something sir?" I ask before he gets lost into his own thoughts again.
"Sure.."
"What are we gonna do?" I say as I glance at the lord’s sleeping form.
He seems surprised by my lack of optimism. He thinks for a moment, looking at the fire.
"I don’t know." he finally says with a sigh. This time I’m the one surprised by his lack of self-confidence. "Funny huh?" He adds as his eyes fall on me again. "I thought I did, but I just realized that...I have no idea what to do. You said so yourself, we’re stuck here."
"I never said that," I answer truthfully. "All I said was that the escape could work if the lord doesn’t suspect us to break out of here."
"Yeah but come on! He does suspect something! He’s not even sleeping!" he says and I think he’s right. The lord breathes very regularly, just as if he were sleeping, but he’s not.
Then we hear it again, and I freeze...again. The lord sits up straight - so he was *not* sleeping - and he shakes Karrigan awake as the colonel does with Daniel and Teal’c - who was already "awaken". They take their guns again and the colonel fires in the sky. The noises disappear through the night.
"Carter!" he says as he walks towards me, "you climb that tree, if we have to run, you’ll be safe up there." he adds as he helps me up. And I have no other choices but to agree. We walk, his arm supporting me, and he gives me a leg up to reach the lowest branch available.
Suddenly the horses, attached with their reins on branches, begin to panic.
"Damn." I hear the colonel say as he tries to get me up there as quickly as possible. I finally reach it and try to pull myself up but the stabbing pain in my arm returns as I strain the muscles to get me up. I fall back into his arms and I hear him swear.
The horses break their reins and gallop away as quickly as they can. And we hear it again. Only this time it’s coming from every direction.
"Damn! He brought his buddies..." The colonel mutters while I try to regain some sort of control over the pain in my arm. But God it hurts.
The noises are surrounding us now and I feel the colonel’s hands on my waist and without warning he takes me up into his arm, and lifts me until I can reach the branch again. I’m almost there!
"Come on Carter!" he shouts and I can almost touch the branch. I get startled when I hear gunfire and look down only for a second. There are five of them, and they’re surrounding us. Two of them spot us and walk slowly towards us, drool falling from their mouths.
"Come on Carter!" The colonel says again, this time impatiently, as he gives me one, strong, final push. I’m almost there!
Then I hear the lord.
/"Karrigan, no!"/
I can’t help but looking down again.
I see Karrigan taking a branch from the fire with flames on the end, and running in front of us, obviously allowing us some time. She’s defending us. The two boars stop for a moment, looking at her and the fire in her hand. She just stands there, ready to run if she has to.
I grasp the branch and lift myself up, trying to forget the pain in my arm.
"Colonel!" I shout, "get Karrigan out of there!"
He goes as soon as he’s sure I’m ok up there, and I can’t do anything but watch the scene before my eyes. Karrigan still stands before our tree, as still as a statue, her eyes locked on the pigs, watching their every movement. Just a few feet behind her, Colonel O’Neill slowly gets his gun out. And around the fire, there’s the lord, with Daniel and Teal’c, stuck with the three other boars. I spot my gun by the fire, where I’d dropped it the first time. Damn! Why didn’t I think of putting it back in its place? Teal’c shoots his zat but misses his target. The boar avoids the blast and begins its run towards Teal’c. He shoots it...once...twice...Damn! The thing is still very much alive and it’s running towards him again.
The lord takes his bow and shoots it, but it’s still running…very fast. DuVallois gestures Teal’c and Daniel to run and they obey without protesting, both taking a branch from the fire first. And then they run into the woods, two boars after them. Please, whoever’s listening up there, help them. The lord then runs too, a very mean looking boar on his heels and he jumps to catch a low branch and he climbs up. Then my eyes fall on Karrigan again. But no Karrigan in sight. Or the colonel for that matter.
Where the hell are they? I don’t see any trace of the colonel or Karrigan. How could they take off without me noticing? Now I have two choices: stay up here and wait, or get down there and get my gun.
My head suddenly snaps in the direction when I hear it: one shot. I heard it. A scream. Oh God...it’s Karrigan, I’m sure that’s her. Another gun shot, and another. And a cry from a boar. I can’t stay here, I have to go see what happened. I try to get down the tree as quickly as possible, without aggravating my wounds but it’s not easy. I’m gonna have to jump...Ouch...Just thinking about it hurts. But I do it anyway. I let myself slide from the branch and roll when I touch the ground. Okay, that wasn’t that bad... Then I struggle up and run to get my gun.
Ok...Another crossroads: go to the left, where O’Neill and Karrigan are - or at least where I heard the gun shot - or go to the right after Teal’c and Daniel. I spot DuVallois getting down his own tree and running my way.
/"Are you alright?"/ he asks me as he reaches me. I just nod, there’s no time to talk about me. But he understands what I’m thinking about before I can say it.
/"You go after your teammates"/ he says as he points to the right. /"I’ll go after Karrigan and your leader."/ I nod and we both leave, picking up a burning branch in one hand and my gun in the other. It’s quite dark in the woods, but it’s easy to follow the hoof prints. I go like that for a couple of minutes until I hear them. The guys...talking.
"Daniel? Teal’c?" I ask in a hushed voice. And then I see them. "Are you alright?" I ask as I try to run towards them. Daniel looks shaken but ok, and Teal’c has blood on his shirt, but the tiny smile on his face tells me it’s not his.
"As you see we are fine Major Carter" he states.
"Let’s go back to the fire...what happened to the boars that were after you?" I ask while walking back to the camp.
"We managed to burn them." Daniel says quietly. Poor him, this has shocked him a lot.
"Burn?" I repeat, making a disgusted face.
"There was no other means to eliminate them." Teal’c answers.
We walk again for a couple of minutes and when we’re finally back to the fire, a feeling of dread knots my stomach. Neither O’Neill, DuVallois nor Karrigan are back yet. I have a very bad feeling about this. But just as I’m about to go after them, I spot them coming back. The colonel is carrying Karrigan in his arms and for a moment I fear the worst, but the look he gives me also gives me hope.
"She’s alive." He just says as he lays her down near the fire. I take a look at the wounds on her legs and face, but she’s gonna be ok. She’s just unconscious.
"What about you?" I ask the colonel who looks as shocked as Daniel, maybe even more.
"I’m fine." He answers, still taking care of Karrigan, and I nod silently. If he doesn’t wanna talk about it, then we won’t talk about it.
"So what do we do now?" Daniel asks, and he looks exhausted.
I translate to DuVallois and he answers me that we’re gonna have to spend the rest of the night in the trees.
/"Why? Are there any left?"/ I ask.
/"At least one. O’Neill killed two."/ And he looks at Teal’c and Daniel.
"We killed two." Daniel answers.
/"Then there is one left. The one that was after you." / I tell DuVallois. He nods and gets up, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his hand. I hadn’t noticed it was that hot...Or maybe it’s not, maybe we’re all very stressed out right now. And we have some pretty good reasons to be. I get up too and go find a tree with lower branches, easiest for me to climb right now. It’s not very long before I spot one and I climb up. I just sit there, leaning my head on the trunk and closing my eyes.
Not long after, Daniel comes and climbs up too, and I shift to make him more room. Teal’c goes to another branch in the same tree and I see the colonel finally leaving Karrigan’s side, patting the lord’s back and heading our way. He jumps beside Teal’c and, just as the rest of us, tries to relax a bit. The lord takes his daughter in his arms and lifts her up to bring her on a low branch as well, her head resting on his lap.
I think this is one of the worst nights I’ve ever experienced.
*****
I don’t think any of us slept. But we didn’t talk either. We just sat there, eyes closed, waiting for the morning to come, and fortunately for us, we didn’t have to wait for long. About an hour later, the sun came up, warm and bright, almost making us forget the darkness of the night. Karrigan woke up just as we were about to leave, and she insisted on walking on her own, so we left her be. The horses hadn’t come back yet, so we didn’t have much choice but to walk our way back. I was so hoping to meet them on the way, because my leg was killing me, despite the herbs DuVallois put on it before we left. And from what I could see, Karrigan felt the same.
And we still do.
We’ve been walking for a couple of hours now and it’s getting harder and harder to keep up. I’m sure that both the lord and the colonel are well aware of our condition, but they know we can do it. And we can. So I keep walking.
Suddenly, coming from nowhere, Karrigan’s big horse appears in front of us and walks to her. Grins appear on all of our faces as Karrigan caresses her horse and quietly tries to climb up. Her father, seeing that she won’t be able to mount by herself, goes and lifts her up on the horse’s back.
"Carter" the colonel calls me, "why don’t you climb up there too? You really need a rest and we can’t stop. Ask her!" he says as he points Karrigan, who had followed our conversation. As I turn to her, ready to ask her, she stretches her arm and, with a smile, offers her hand to help me up. I gladly take it and, with her help, I’m there behind her. And we begin to walk again.
/"Thank you"/ I say as we ride.
/"The horse is strong, he can easily support two women."/ she answers.
/"No I meant thank you for standing in front of those boars for us. Thank you for saving my life, and the colonel’s."/ I tell her truthfully. I really want her to know how grateful I am.
She looks at me with a smile and I realize she’s blushing. Oh God...She really has a crush on him.
/"He saved my life too. Will you thank him for me?"/ She asks with hope in her eyes.
/"Of course."/ I smile. "Colonel!"
He turns our way.
"Mademoiselle?" he asks with a grin.
"Karrigan would very much like to thank you for saving her life." I tell him and he comes closer to our side, taking her hand briefly in his, he squeezes it. For a tiny moment I feel a knot in my stomach but it goes away as soon as he drops her hand. Then his hand comes to pat my thigh and he goes back to his original place, beside Daniel and Teal’c.
*****
Taking a warm bath has never hurt so much. When we arrived at the castle it was night again and I just couldn’t wait to take a bath in our room, but with the few scratches I have on my arm and leg, the usually relaxing warm water of the bath was horrible to bear. But I managed to get clean anyway, and put back on my BDU’s.
"Feeling better?" The colonel asks as he sees me exiting the water room, and I shake my head no. I sit slowly on the bed, trying to limit my movement as much as possible.
"Want me to have another look at you?" He asks as he watches the fireplace. Sometimes he’s funny. He doesn’t want us to know that he cares so he puts his ‘I’m-indifferent’ look on his face. And that’s exactly the look he wears right now.
"No sir, thank you. I’ll be fine."
He just nods without staring at me. Daniel takes his turn for the bath and heads into the water room. Just as I’m about to lay down on the bed, there’s a knock at the door. I sigh and O’Neill and I exchange a look and he goes to open it. Karrigan. I get up and manage to walk to the door, beside my CO and for a moment she just stares between the two of us.
/"Karrigan? What can we do for you?"/ I finally ask, as I feel like she’s not gonna take the first steps.
/"I came to tell you something important."/ She says, looking at me. I frown.
/"What’s that?"/
/"Before I tell you, I want you to know that I am not happy with this decision, but I have no choice."/ She takes a deep breath and throws a quick glare at the colonel, still standing by my side.
/"Karrigan, what is it?"/ she’s beginning to worry me now.
/"This is as much a warning as an order. Tomorrow you will be separated."/
/"What??"/ I shout. I don’t believe this. Especially after what we experienced the night before, the lord can’t possibly be separating us! /"Who will be separated? Where are we going?"/ I try to ask all the questions I can possibly ask before she leaves.
She lifts her chin up, as if it gives her courage, but right now I would just like to punch her.
/"Dr. Jackson will leave tomorrow morning to study the alchemy, just like my father agreed to, and the Warrior will also leave tomorrow morning for the experiments. He might as well be given a place in the militia. They are going to King Bernard’s castle."/
I take a look behind me at Teal’c, who’s calmly meditating, obviously not aware we’re talking about him. Oh God...I don’t wanna think about what they’re gonna do to him.
/"Karrigan"/ I say as I try to regain my calm, /"you can’t let that happen. Teal’c is a human being you know? You can’t just experiment on him! And he won’t let you, that I can assure you!"/
/"I am not the one to decide Major Carter, but I understand your feelings...I’ll try to talk to my father."/
/"Thank you...if you don’t, I will."/
As she turns away to leave, I grab her elbow. She turns and there goes the chin up and defying glare again.
/"What about us?"/ I ask waving my arm showing the colonel and I.
/"You will stay here with us."/ She says just as if it were very obvious.
/"And what are we supposed to do?"/
Her eyes are downcast and I think I can see a blush here. I sigh...I knew it... I throw a quick glance at the colonel and he looks like he’s trying to understand what’s going on, one eyebrow raised and his hands resting on his hips. Oh God...I don’t wanna be the one to announce this to him. Karrigan doesn’t answer, she just turns on her heels and leave, closing the door behind her.
"What the heck was that for?" He asks as soon as the door is completely closed. I turn to look at him, and just then Daniel gets out of the water room, his short hair still wet. He looks at us with a questioning glance and I sigh, putting my face in my hands.
"Daniel and Teal’c leave tomorrow." I mumble through my hands.
"What???" O’Neill explodes, and I can’t say I’m surprised. Teal’c gets out of his meditation and Daniel comes closer to us.
"You two guys have to leave tomorrow for the king’s castle, where you," I look at Daniel, "get to study the alchemy, and you Teal’c to tell your war strategies as well as your knowledge of the Goa’uld. Karrigan said she would try to talk to her father about the...ah...experiments" I say as I glance briefly at his stomach.
"I will not be subject to experiments Major Carter" he says as he stands and walks towards me.
"Believe me Teal’c, I know. That’s what I told her and that’s what made her change her mind."
"But you’re not going anywhere anyway Teal’c."
We all turn to look at the colonel, his arms firmly crossed on his chest.
"Because we’re leaving tonight." He announces just as casually. "We still have our guns, we can steal horses to get to the Stargate."
"But sir..." I try.
"Carter," he says sharply, his head snapping my way, "we’re leaving. If you wanna stay and get your gold, stay. I don’t give a damn." he adds as he heads towards the water room, clacking the door. I just stay there, frozen and unable to say anything. Why would he think I’d wanna stay? That man is a puzzle.
Daniel comes alongside me and imitates me, looking at the water room door.
"You know he’s just angry. He doesn’t mean it." He says quietly.
"Yeah...I know." But do I?
"But you do wanna come with us, right?" he asks, sounding concerned this time.
"Of course!" I can’t believe what I’m hearing. "Why would you guys think I don’t wanna go back?" I ask in disbelief.
"Well...the lord is...cute, for starters." he says, crossing his arms on his chest, avoiding my eyes for a moment. I just stare at him open-mouthed. I can’t believe what I’m hearing! They think I’m in love with the lord? What would make them think that?
"Daniel, what is wrong with you? I mean what on Earth would make you think I wanna stay with the lord?"
"No offense Sam," he says as he lifts his hands in defense. "I’m just trying to make you see what apparently you don’t see."
"Which would be..." I don’t know why but my heart starts to race in my chest.
"The lord..." he adds quickly.
"Right...But it doesn’t mean *I*, of all people, would be interested!"
"Yeah, you’re right." he says as looks down, a small apologetic smile on his lips. "It’s Jack’s fault. He’s putting all those weird ideas into my head."
The colonel? Why would he say such things? Because of the blush he caught earlier on my face? He couldn’t be...jealous? Could he? No, I don’t think so. But why then?
The man in question gets out of the water room and, without looking at me, goes to the door and peaks his head outside. His hair is still wet and his black T-shirt sticks to his chest. I guess he didn’t dry himself enough... *Ahem*! Sam...get that out of your mind, right NOW!
"Looks clear. Ready to go?" he asks. And he’s still angry.
"We are O’Neill." Teal’c states and he’s right, we are.
I tighten the bandage on my leg and arm, and put on my jacket. I’m ready. O’Neill opens the door quietly and pats Daniel out, with Teal’c on his heels. He looks at me then, and when he realizes I’m coming too, he stops and raises an eyebrow at me. I clench my jaw in frustration and pass by him. What the hell is going on with him tonight? We walk down the dark corridor, Teal’c first, then Daniel and myself, and in the rear the colonel. We stop and hide in an alcove and two men armed with swords at their waist pass without seeing us. We continue down the corridor and climb down the stairs as quietly and quickly as possible. It’s dark and it’s hard to see anything, but we miraculously manage to make our way outside the castle without any further obstacles.
We run to the stables and get two horses out of there. Teal’c jumps on one and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me up behind him. I see O’Neill do the same with Daniel. And then we’re off.
***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ III - The Alchemists *****
Sometimes hope can make you feel weird things, say strange words. It can create a huge knot in your stomach and make you stop breathing. But what a wonderful feeling it is.
Hope.
Now I almost laugh when I hear that word.
*****
We rode as quickly as possible for the first few hours. The horses were foam-covered and we had to stop for a moment if we didn’t want to make the rest of the way on foot. Sam was still limping a little then but she looked ok, if angry. I don’t know why Jack puts that much pressure on her. And I wonder even more why she lets him do it. I guess it’s a military thing.
After our five minutes break, we pushed our horses forward again and I had to hang on to Jack’s waist if I didn’t want to fall. And God knows I’m gonna walk like a cowboy tomorrow...if at all. But we’ve finally made it to the village we visited when we first arrived here. Jack quietly gives the order to slow down and we ride silently in the dark streets. As soon as we pass through, we go for a gallop again, and hopefully our next stop will be the Stargate.
As we ride, I recognize the path we walked down a couple of days ago, and my stomach stirs as I think about home. I would have loved to stay here under better circumstances, but I guess Jack was right by making us leave. I understand his motives...marrying a girl three times younger than yourself is not a very attractive thought... At least not for me or, from what I could see, for Jack.
I look up far ahead of us and we can see the shadow of the Stargate...and lights.
"Jack stop!" I announce loudly in his ear.
"What? What fo..." he stops himself as well as his horse when he sees what I saw.
The lights. Fire torches in front of the gate. A lot of them, forming some sort of a barrier. And now that we’re stopped, we can hear horses and swords being taken out of their sheaths.
"Damn." He says. He looks around in panic and I feel a knot forming in my stomach. That’s it. We won’t be able to escape. Jack turns his horse around and gallops as fast as he can back to the village. Teal’c and Sam follow but it’s easy to tell that their horse is exhausted. But they follow anyway. I look behind and I see some of the lights coming after us. Damn. They saw us.
When we’re in the village once again, Jack jumps down, and since I’m holding his waist, I fall with him and we roll in the muddy grass. I spot Sam and Teal’c doing the same and Sam gets back up with a grimace on her face. Must have hurt jumping down like that. But apparently she can handle it, because she starts running after Jack when he does so. We follow them in the dark streets to find some place to hide. We finally find some sort of barrels in one corner of the street and we hide behind them.
My breaths are fast and shallow as I watch the men who followed us enter the village and slow down with a gesture of the leader’s hand. DuVallois. I recognize him. Why doesn’t he just let us go? What does he want from us? His men get down from their horses and bend down to observe the ground. Damn...
I’m distracted by a pat on my arm. I turn to look at Jack and he signs me and Sam to run on the right, and Teal’c to go straight. We nod silently.
Three..Two..One...
And we run...As fast as we can, but soon I notice Sam finding it hard to keep up. She limps a lot now and she draws shallow breaths... I grab her elbow and pull her behind a house.
"Daniel" she whispers, trying to catch her breath, "you keep on going. I can’t keep it up." she says between breaths.
"No Sam come on...we have to go on..." I plead.
But she looks at me with that determined look of hers and she pushes me forward. And I run...Run like hell. The streets are muddy and some places are slippery but I try to stay on my feet. I see an intersection and I turn to the left and I stop dead in my tracks.
They’re here. They’ve got me. They’ve surrounded me.
And the lord doesn’t seem very happy.
I bend down to catch my breath and two of his men climb down their horses and come towards me. I’m about to let them get me when a figure comes out of the shadows and kicks one of the men in the stomach and then in the face.
Sam...
I take advantage of the surprise to hit the other one, grab her elbow and run towards where we came from. We run but we can hear the horses behind us, and they’re a lot faster than we are. We’re never gonna make it...
I take a look behind me and I see they’re getting closer...And then I hit against someone’s chest and fall back in the mud.
"Dammit Daniel what are you doing running this way?" Jack whispers as he offers me a hand to stand. I grab his elbow and begin to run again.
"They’re after us..." I say as we run. "Where’s Teal’c?"
"I don’t know...went ahead like I told him to." he answers.
He takes a quick look at Sam and, stopping to wait for her to be beside us, he grabs her arm and lifts her on his back. She protests but then he runs again and she has nothing to do but put her arms around his neck and legs around his waist to help him.
But we’re not going as fast as we should and soon we’re back in the original place...The center of the village...
Where guards are waiting for us.
We stop and look behind but we’re trapped. They’ve surrounded us. This time it’s true, we’re stuck here. Jack lets go of Sam and she stands again and he straightens his back, trying to catch his breath. And then the lord himself arrives in front of us and he gets down from his horse.
I feel Jack tense as the man comes towards us and I can’t restrain him when he walks to meet the lord and give him a good right hook on the jaw. DuVallois falls backwards and one of his men catches him before he hits the ground. He stands again and just looks at Jack, his lip bleeding. Jack stays where he is and he looks beaten. I never thought I’d see the day to witness Jack beaten. When he has no hope at all. And it’s this lack of hope that strenghtens mine. If he gives up now, then I won’t. For both of us.
"For cryin’ out loud why don’t you just let us go?" Jack asks desperately but the lord doesn’t answer.
He goes to Sam and speaks and she looks at him, furious but answering anyway. Probably asked where Teal’c is. I hope he’s ok. I hope at least one of us is gonna be able to make it back home.
But it won’t be me.
*****
So this is it.
This is the moment to say my good-byes to my friends. But no farewells, because we *are* going to see each other again right? Right? We are going to get out of here, right?? Well, I keep that hope at the bottom of my heart because if it’s there, I know it won’t be able to escape from my chest. Even though it would be so easy to lose it.
The three of us stand in the middle of the village, where we got captured and where we’ve spent the night trying to ‘discuss’ things. At least Sam has been trying to. But I see her coming back to us, looking as if she has the whole world on her shoulders. She walks towards us, looking down, kicking rocks as she comes. Then she looks at us and I can see all the guilt in her eyes, and shame.
I pull her into a tight hug and tell her it’s not her fault, that she couldn’t do anything more than she did. She hugs me back even tighter. I disentangle from her and try a smile, although I’m not very sure if it actually looks like a smile. But she does smile back, a small, hopeful smile, from the corner of her mouth.
Then I turn to Jack. He stands there just watching us, arms crossed on his chest until I offer my hand for him to shake. He takes it and smiles a little.
"Now you take care of yourself." He says.
"Yeah..." I say, throwing a look at Sam. "Jack, don’t make her feel like it’s her fault because it’s not." I add, still shaking his hand.
He stiffens a little but returns the shake.
"I know."
"We *are* gonna find a way home, Jack." And I can’t help myself so I hug him lightly. He pats my back and we pull apart. "Just don’t forget to come and get me." I say with a smile as I walk away from them.
This is so hard...But I have hope. I have to...
Two men escort me to a horse and I climb up, waving my hand at my friends before we leave. They wave back and then I’m gone. One of my ‘escort’ takes my reins and the two of them push their horses forward.
I don’t look behind.
*****
I look at my watch. 10h30 PM. What the hell is she doing? We were supposed to meet at 10...I look again at my watch impatiently when something in the little corner of the screen catches my attention.
July 3rd... My heart skips a bit when I realize what this implies.
Three months...It’s been three months since I last saw my friends... I hadn’t realized time passed so quickly. Don’t take me wrong...I do miss them, and I mostly wonder what’s going on with them, and Teal’c... I don’t know if Teal’c finally made it to the Stargate or not...I sure hope he’s ok...and Sam and Jack too... I hope Jack hasn’t been too rough on her, the last time I saw them he was so jealous I couldn’t believe my eyes...I mean it’s not like they were together! Then I would have understood, but sometimes they act so weirdly when they’re around each other...And either of them have realized what this means... Well maybe they have by now, I hope they’re ok.
I almost laugh at my own use of words...Hope…I don’t hope anymore...All I do is live, each day, as much as I can, trying not to deceive them even if they wouldn’t know if I did. But some days are harder than others... I’ve done my mourning for home, but sometimes images, flashes, faces I’m never gonna see again come into my mind and disappear as quickly as they come. That’s what happens when I have too much time to think, which is usually rare, under the circumstances. I work in the lab everyday from 7 to 10 and I don’t have time to think, even for a minute when I’m up there. Sam would jump up and down if she knew everything I now know about chemistry and alchemy. It’s amazing, really.
However I’ve found out that changing metals into gold is not as easy as it seems. It doesn’t change over night...In fact, it takes a few months for the transformation to be complete. I’ve seen my first complete transformation today, and I must say it felt fabulous...If I could write down the recipe and bring it back ho.... No, I can’t think of that right now... Amalia is supposed to arrive soon.
I didn’t think that women would be allowed to work in the labs, but when I first arrived, I realized that there were a few of them, and Amalia was one of them. And she’s the one with whom I got to work for the last three months. And she’s also the one I’m waiting for right now. But she’s always late, I’m getting used to that by now. Now it makes me chuckle to think how mad would Jack be at her if she were in our team. He hates people being late.
Sometimes I still think of our separation, and about how I felt that day...I felt horrible, to say the least, but I had hope at the time...I thought that, being here, in the King’s palace, could help me find a way of escape for all of us. Oh boy how wrong I was...
After we got separated, they led me to the lord’s castle again to take my stuff, they said, but I didn’t have anything, so we left almost right after we arrived. We took a coach and I was grateful not to have to ride a horse again. I couldn’t walk for five days after our few days of riding...And I must say that it made me appear foolish in the eyes of Amalia, she chuckled every time I made a grimace because it hurt.
What is she doing?
And when we arrived at the palace, the smell was so horrible I almost passed out, and I soon found out why. It was situated in the middle of the city, with its huge guard towers. But the thing is, the cities during the Middle Ages were practically open sewers...People throwing their rubbish and, forgive the word, shit in the streets was a very common thing... I could just picture Jack asking what the hell is that smell, and cracking a sarcastic comment...But he wasn’t there, and neither was Sam or Teal’c. I was alone and I didn’t even speak French. I knew a few words because of my linguistic knowledge, but not enough to entertain an interesting conversation. But I learned, because I had no choice. Being alone for three months with people who don’t even speak your language, who don’t even understand ‘yes’ and ‘no’, helps you to learn. And fast. I must say that I owe a lot to Amalia, because she’s the one who helped me the most, and when I understood most of what people said, I began to feel a bit less miserable. And then I began talking again, especially with Amalia, and when she felt I was good enough, she even introduced me to the King. Of course he knew a bit about me, the lord had told him of our ‘treaty’, but still he seemed happy to finally meet me. That was...2 months ago... I also learned that Amalia was a very important alchemist in the kingdom. She’s the sister of the now famous man who succeeded with the alchemy and apparently she’s very high-ranked. I must admit it didn’t surprise me at all. She’s a beautiful, very smart woman...and who’s always late...
It’s almost 11 now... I decide to sit on the ground and I lean against the wall. We’re supposed to go to a party tonight...but strangely enough I don’t really feel like it. Not tonight. Tonight I wanna think about my friends, I wanna feel nostalgic. I look at the stars and there is a small comfort in thinking that, at least, they see the same ones.
I see a lean figure coming out of the shadow and there she is. I get up and go meet her. Her brown eyes meet mine and she smiles as she sees me. She’s rather tall, and her long brown hair is tied with a leather lace.
/"Amalia what took you so long?"/ I ask as I arrive in front of her.
/"Sorry Daniel, I had things to work out"/ she says, /"I hope you haven’t waited too long?"/ she asks sweetly. But she definitely knows how long I’ve been waiting. I offer her my arm and we begin to walk.
/"I learned some interesting news today."/ She says as we walk. /"I think it was worth the wait."/ she adds as she stops and turns to look at me.
/"What’s that?"/ I ask.
/"There is a wedding coming."/
/"Really? An important wedding?"/ Weddings at the palace are not unusual, and usually it’s not such a big news.
/"I think so, yes."/
/"Who’s getting married? The King again?"/ and I chuckle at my own joke. The King has been married five times so far...I wonder how he can still keep it up.
/"No. Not the King. A Lady called Karrigan DuVallois and her mentor Jack O’Neill."/ She says, seriously.
For a moment I just stare at her...
/"What? This is a joke right?"/
I told her all about my team and the SGC and everything I could possibly talk about... But I never thought she would be the one to announce this news.
/"I’m afraid not. They’re coming here, for the wedding."/ She says.
/"When?"/ I ask and I feel it again...that disturbing hope...
/"In one month."/
Oh my god...Jack? Marrying Karrigan and coming here? I can’t believe it! I just stand there for a moment, deep in thought. I mean does he know I’m here? Does he know I’m still alive? And what about Sam? Is she coming too? And Teal’c...did he make it back to Earth? I have so many questions to ask, but I’m afraid no one could give me the answers I’m looking for.
/"Do you know if Sam is coming too?"/ I finally ask.
/"I don’t know yet."/ she says as she shrugs.
/"Yet? What do you mean yet?"/
/"I mean that we’re going to find out tonight...So? Good excuse to be late huh?"/ she asks with a smile as she takes my arm and we begin to walk again. But I’m too shocked to say anything as I follow her in the city.
We stop in front of a smoke filled pub and we can hear music and laughter inside. I grab her elbow before she gets in.
/"Amalia. Thank you for getting these pieces of information. You made my day you know?"/ I say and she smiles. I take the opportunity to kiss her briefly. Her smile gets brighter and she turns around to get in. And I follow her. God knows what I’m gonna learn tonight about my friends, but I’m willing to spend all the money I got to find out. And being one of the King’s alchemists pays well.
We walk in and Amalia walks directly to a table in one corner of the room, and I’m surprised to see an old woman sitting there... I don’t know why, but I was expecting some big bearded man, with huge muscles and smoking cigars, asking me to pay for the information he’s going to give me. But no, no such clichés tonight. The woman who sits there looks in her mid sixties and she wears a scarf around her head and thin face. But she has happy wrinkles around her eyes, coming from years of laughter and happiness, even in this rough society.
Amalia sits first in front of the woman and I imitate her.
/"Dr. Daniel Jackson, this is Olivian, a friend of my mother."/ Amalia says as I shake the woman’s hand.
/"Oh Amalia"/, Olivian says, taking her hand, /" he’s even cuter than you’ve described!"/ I feel myself blush but as I take a look at Amalia, I notice she’s bright red too. So she talks about me huh? And I’m cute?? I can’t help the grin on my face as I look at her and she blushes even more. I take her hand and squeeze it. And she smiles. But then she looks back at Olivian and I do the same.
/"Olivian, you said you knew some things about Daniel’s friends...can you tell us?"/ Amalia asks gently, still holding my hand, our fingers entwined together.
/"Yes, I learned many things today that I thought could interest you Daniel."/ she answers as she turns to me.
I give the woman all the attention I can give and she moves her head closer to mine.
/"Lord DuVallois will have his daughter Karrigan to marry your leader, Colonel Jack O’Neill in a month from today."/ She says, but this I already knew. I want to know more. I need to know more.
/"Do you know if Major Carter will accompany them on their trip to the palace?"/ I ask.
/"I do believe she will. She has been the secret new love of the lord since she arrived."/
Ok...not so secret...It was pretty obvious... But I nod to encourage her to go on.
/"I do believe she was also assigned to be the interpreter, isn’t this right?"/
/"Yes, that’s right."/ I can’t help the hurry in my voice. This is the first news I’ve had of my friends since we got separated. /"But tell me...do you know how Jack agreed to marry Karrigan? I mean the last time I saw him he wasn’t very interested..."/
She shakes her head no.
/"I am sorry Dr. Jackson, this is all I know...I’m afraid it’s not much compared to your expectations, but that’s all I know."/ she says apologetically.
/"What about my other friend?"/ she frowns but I go on excitingly. /"Teal’c, the Jaffa, big guy with a gold tattoo on his forehead, can’t miss him!"/ She frowns even more and does some heavy thinking.
/"Yes, I remember who you are talking about...but I do not know what happened to him!"/
/"Then he’s probably already home... But there is something I don’t understand..."/
/"What is it son?"/
/"Why didn’t General Hammond send reinforcements when he realized we wouldn’t come back..."/
/"If you are talking about the Ring then your leader couldn’t send reinforcements."/ she states, looking me in the eye.
/"Why not?"/ I ask but I fear the answer.
/"Because the Ring has been buried, after your escape attempt. The guards kept it under surveillance for a few days, but no activation occurred, so they buried it."/
I sit back fully in my chair and try to take in what I just learned. I chuckle unbelievably as I think of what she said.
/"Ok...let me get things straight...First Jack is gonna marry a girl three times younger than he is, and Sam is just gonna let him do that... Then I learn that Teal’c is nowhere to be found, and finally that our only mean of salvation is buried?"/ I chuckle bitterly even more. I think I’m losing it.
Amalia looks at me as if I had three heads and I can’t say I can blame her...I’m actually laughing. She exchanges a look with Olivian and the woman just shrugs. But then I stop laughing and lean my forehead on the table in front of me.
Why does the word ‘hope’ even exist?
At least I’m gonna see them again. I’ll try to ask to see them. Maybe they’ll let me. With two guards at my sides...and a couple at their sides...
But one thing is for sure, we’re not going home.
*****
This was one hell of a night. I didn’t want to party but after what I’d learned, I didn’t want to feel nostalgic anymore. So Amalia and I stayed in the pub until 5 AM and then we went back to the palace. We, alchemists, have small apartments in one of the main tower, because the labs are up there. So when we arrived, Amalia went to her room and me to mine.
What a hangover I had this morning. A horrible headache. It had been a while since I last had a good drunken night, but, as usual, this morning I swore to myself that this was the last. And this morning I felt even more miserable than the night before. Because today I knew the truth, I knew what to expect. But I went to the labs anyway, and I felt selfishly happy to see that Amalia was looking as horrible as I was. She couldn’t handle her alcohol anymore than I, we made a good-looking pair last night.
But she greeted me with a smile, as usual, and her eyes shone brighter, as usual. I know how she feels about me, and I know how I could easily feel about her, but so far something has stopped me. Maybe that same disturbing hope I’ve had to go back home, to where I belong. But now...I think I can allow myself to love her like she deserves. Because she sure deserves it. In another drunken night, like yesterday, we were both sitting in a pub, drinking and dancing, and when we couldn’t dance anymore we talked. That’s when I told her everything about us, about my life, about me, and she told me everything in return.
Her father was a merchant a few years ago, but from what I understood, he was a true bastard. Hitting his wife and children whenever he had the chance. Her mother sent both her and her brother to the palace because she felt they were intelligent enough to be part of the alchemy team of the King. And so they were. She also felt that this would protect them from their father. Her mother died two years ago of a sickness (which I’m sure could have been cured with antibiotics), and her father is still alive but she doesn’t talk to him anymore. And when I think about it I understand why she would be interested in a man like me. I wouldn’t hurt anyone, especially not women and children. From what she described, I’m the complete opposite of her father.
So I’m trying to compensate for the years of hell she lived as a child. We work together, we laugh together and we go out together. She makes me feel good and I’m happy when I’m with her. And I’m pretty sure it’s mutual.
I take a look at her as she works over her potion, concentrating hard. Sometimes she makes me think of Sam. How excited she gets when she discovers something new, when she finds the solution to a problem that’s been bothering her for a while. But they both are very different. Different lives, different society, different history. I sound like Marx don’t I? Yeah well, I’ve come to realize that his philosophy makes sense...
I walk to her and she’s concentrated so fully she doesn’t even hear me coming behind her.
/"What are you doing?"/ I ask in her ear.
She jumps so much she drops her test tube on the floor. I smile when she looks at me, furious.
/"Daniel Jackson don’t ever do this to me again."/ she says as she turns to look at me.
I just kiss her. The first real kiss. When we pull apart she looks completely shocked.
/"What did you do that for?"/ she asks, her eyes wide open and her cheeks flushed. She looks beautiful.
/"I wanted to."/ I answer but she doesn’t buy it. She frowns and put her hands on her hips.
/"You don’t believe me?"/ I ask with a grin and she shakes her head no. I lean in again and I kiss her again, this time more passionately. One of her arms comes around my waist and the other pulls me closer as it encircles my neck.
We pull apart when we hear a soft ‘ahem’ coming from behind us. We burst out laughing when we look at the embarrassed face of one of the other alchemists. I wink at Amalia and go back to work, a grin on my face.
*****
The big day is coming. One more week and they’re here. I can’t stay in place now. I’m so excited to see them again. Even though I expect a brainwashed Jack...It’s not like him to accept the wedding. I wonder what they gave him for him to agree... And what about Sam? I mean I hope the lord hasn’t made a move on her...Although I doubt Jack would let *that* happen. But they’re good together, I’m sure they’re fine.
I stamp my foot nervously and Amalia puts a reassuring hand on my thigh. Instantly my leg stops moving. We’ve been sitting here for hours to see the king and I can’t take it anymore. I’m here to ask him permission to see my friends when they’ll come here. If Amalia hadn’t come, I think I’d be dead by now. She asked our ‘boss’ for a half-day off because we had an audience with the king. The boss whistled impressively and then accepted our request. Our relationship is ‘official’ now. I love her, she loves me, and everybody knows it, even if we haven’t actually told each other. She’s been so kind to me in the last few weeks, trying to get all the information she could about my friends. I couldn’t have done this without her.
The door bursts open and a man comes in front of us and we stand up.
/"The king will receive you now, please follow me"/ he says and we do just as he asks. Not so many people get to see the private apartments of the king, and I should consider this an honor, but right now I’m too nervous to consider anything. But I must admit the apartments are rather impressive.
We follow the man down a small corridor and the daylight coming from the big windows illuminates the gold everywhere. He opens the door at the end of the corridor and we follow him in. The king is there, sitting at his desk, a nib in his hands and small round glasses on his nose. He looks up when we come in and the man announces us. He smiles when he sees me and walks towards me. I bend myself as a salute and Amalia beside me does the same. Very much to my surprise, the old man comes and hugs me, and then kisses me on both cheeks, hands on my shoulders.
/"What can I do for you son?"/ he asks as naturally as possible. I wonder for a moment if he knows who I am or if he’s just confusing me with one of his other subjects. But no, apparently he knows who I am, and he is not senile.
I clear my throat and give a quick look at Amalia at my side and she gives me a reassuring smile.
/"Actually I...ah...have a favor to ask you sir."/ I finally manage to say.
He waves his arm around the room and invites us to sit in one of the sumptuous chairs at his desk. We follow him and we sit, a bit uncomfortably. Well, at least *I* am uncomfortable. Amalia seems ok, I take it it’s not the first time she’s been here.
/"What is your favor Dr. Jackson?"/ the king asks, crossing one of his legs over the other thigh.
/"Ah...As you already know, my friends Jack O’Neill and Samantha Carter are coming here soon for...ah...Jack’s wedding..."/
He nods me on.
/"And I was wondering if I could...possibly...meet them. It’s been a while since I last saw them and I would very much like to talk to them."/ I add hastily. But he stops me with a gesture of his hand.
/"Dr. Jackson, why would you think you have to come and ask my permission? If they are your friends, then you can see them whenever you wish to."/
/"Really..."/ If I had known I would have paid them a visit or two, or at least written them a letter telling them I’m still alive, despite what they might think.
/"Was this the only favor you had to ask me Dr. Jackson?"/ he asks, as if this wasn’t important enough to disturb him. Oh well, maybe it wasn’t to him, but it is important to me.
/"Yes sir...yes it was."/ I say as I get up and Amalia imitates me. I bend in a salute and thank the king for his audience.
The man leads us to the door and opens it.
/"Dr. Jackson!"/ The king says when I’m at the door. I turn around. /"Your friends are already here./ He adds with a grin.
*****
I can’t walk fast enough out of his office. I’m so excited I don’t even know where I’m going. Amalia is practically running after me and she grabs my arm to stop me.
/"Daniel, slow down a bit will you?"/ she says as she turns me around to look at her.
/"Sorry...I just..."/
She stops me with a kiss.
/"You will see your friends soon, I promise you, but right now we have to go back to work."/
I groan.
/"How am I supposed to be able to work when I know they’re here?"/ I ask desperately.
She takes my arm and smiles as we begin to walk again, this time slower.
/"Just come and you will see that time passes quickly. You can see them tomorrow, or tonight, if you want."/
/"You *will* come with me right? I’d love you to meet them!"/
She stops again and I look at her. She looks serious, but happy.
/"You really want to introduce me to your friends?"/ she asks. I don’t think she realizes what she means to me.
/"Of course I want to introduce you. You’ve been everything to me since I got here and I...I love you..."/ the first time to say those words is always a shocker. And she looks shocked to death. But after a moment of mouth opening and shutting, she hugs me tightly.
/"I love you too..."/ she whispers in my ear and I hold her closer. I let her go and kiss her briefly before we begin walking again.
/"So you will come?"/ I ask her.
/"Yes, absolutely! I’d love to meet your friends."/ she says excitedly.
I smile too. I just hope they’re not brainwashed or something.
Tonight. We’ll go see them tonight.
*****
The return to work was awful. I don’t think I’ve ever been this impatient all my life. Staying seated was a terrible chore and I couldn’t help myself from moving, wandering around the labs, thinking about how our reunion was going to be after four months of separation. I didn’t even notice when Amalia disappeared. I was so stuck in my own worries and thoughts that I didn’t even realize she was gone until I needed to ask her a question. But she wasn’t there. I asked the people around if they knew where she was gone, but everyone shrugged or told me they saw her leaving the labs but didn’t know where she was going or why.
And right now I’m beginning to get worried. We said we’d meet for supper at 10, but she’s not here yet and it’s almost eleven. To be honest I don’t even know why I’m worried, I mean she’s always late. She was probably told that she had more important stuff to do than stay in the labs, and me being so caught up in my own memory, she didn’t want to disturb me. I, at least, hope that’s what happened...I don’t wanna think about the other alternatives.
So I just sit there, in my usual seat when I’m waiting for her and wait. I hope she’s gonna be in time to meet Sam and Jack. I wouldn’t want to miss them. Oh well, I can wait all night and see them tomorrow if she doesn’t arrive soon. I hope I won’t have to wait that long...Come on Amalia...
Just as I’m about to sit down more comfortably, I spot her running towards me. I get up and run to meet her and when she sees me, she stops, and a slow smile appears on her face. But there is something else in her eyes...Sadness, maybe, I don’t think I can define it. She finally begins walking again and we stop when we’re facing each other.
/"What happened?"/ I ask, trying to sound irritated. But she just takes my hands in hers and glares down at them.
/"Daniel, I learned some wonderful news...But..."/ she says, still looking down.
/"But what?"/ I ask as I lift her chin with my forefinger so that she looks at me.
/"But it may not be so wonderful to me..."/ she adds, her smile disappearing.
/"What is it? You’re worrying me here..."/ I reply.
/"The Ring has been unburied,"/ she finally admits, /"and someone, a tall man went through last night."/
/"Teal’c??"/ I ask, hope coming back again.
/"I don’t know...We can’t be sure, but I do believe that it could be him... My people doesn’t know how to use the Ring...It has to be one of yours. According to Olivian, the man was tall, muscular, but his face or color couldn’t be seen because he was wearing a dark cape...That’s all I know...But Daniel...You can go home!"/ she announces with a teary smile.
I hold her tight as I’m still trying to take in the news...The Stargate has been used? It’s unburied? I feel her sobs shaking her body against mine and I feel terrible...How could I do this to her? Why didn’t I keep hope, which stopped me for awhile to fall in love with her? But now it’s too late...I fell for her, and her for me, and I’m leaving her...
I pull us apart and take her face in my hands to force her to look at me. Her stare finally finds mine and I smile.
/"Why don’t you come with me?"/ I ask, and she grins through her tears, leaning into the caress of my hands. But she soon looks away.
/"Daniel..."/ She says, biting her lip. And it sounds so much like a negative answer I feel my heart sink.
/"You could work in the labs... and guess what? No more alchemy!"/ I joke, because she often told me she was completely fed up doing that.
She laughs and wipes her sniffing nose with her wrist.
/"Are you sure I could fit in?"/ she finally asks.
/"Oh absolutely..."/ I say and I kiss her passionately.
I have to find Sam and Jack...We can go home...
***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ IV - The WoodMan *****
I am finally home. Or rather what I have called home for 4 years now. But how may I call this home when my friends are not here to share it? I do not know what happened to them, but it has been almost four months now...I do not know if I have to give up hoping for their return.
I do not believe so.
I will find them and bring them home again.
*****
I ran in the streets as fast as I could, as O’Neill had ordered me. He told me to go straight, and this path led to the end of the village and into dark woods. I had no other choice than to hide in them. As soon as I was well hidden among the trees, I realized I was ambushed by the sounds surrounding me. It was not Lord DuVallois though, but the WoodsMen. Or so they called themselves.
They were not part of the villagers, or even less of the lord’s people, they were the outcast, those who live, fight and die to be free. They owe nothing to the king or the lords but the price they pay may be worse; the heavy bounty there is on their heads forces them to pay with their lives.
I did not understand their language more than they understood mine but I observed them for a long period of time and for some days we communicated with signs. I have come to at least one conclusion; they are the ones who saved me. I owe my freedom to them, and I believe that by helping me finding mine they also found theirs. When they realized I was no threat to them and that I was, in fact, chased after, they led me to where they lived. It was a small gathering of houses situated high in the trees, well hidden from any eyes on the path.
The leader of the small legion, who was presented to me by the name of Idan, offered me board and lodging and I accepted with all my gratitude. He led me to his home and from there I could see the entire plain, with the Stargate, imposing and dark in the center and the village to the right… I stayed up there all night, observing what was happening below. I could see riders and soldiers with torches in their hands, some posted near the Stargate and some scattered towards the village. I knew they were searching for my friends, and myself, but there was nothing I could do to help them, but hope they would find the same path as I.
When the morning came, I could clearly see what was happening and what fate had befallen my friends. With the binocular device I had in my pocket, I could watch as Major Carter tried to negotiate for their freedom, and later, how Daniel Jackson was separated from them. I was not worried for Daniel Jackson, because I trusted his knowledge and his ease in interaction with strangers, but I must admit that O’Neill and Major Carter had a very different and more complicated fate. They were to be together for the rest of their lives, so close and yet so far, separated by a young lady named Karrigan. I was very aware of the silent trust O’Neill and Major Carter felt towards each other, but I was worried this situation would be a challenging test for both of them. Test for their trust, test for their companionship, and more importantly, test for their friendship.
I witnessed the lord taking my friends back to his castle hours after the departure of Daniel Jackson. I do not know what has been said during those few hours, but from what I could see from the tree, O’Neill was not pleased with the situation. Neither was I. I was searching helplessly for a solution to our desperate situation, but I couldn’t think of any suitable reasoning. If I were to go after them, I would be captured, this was certain. I could not let that happen. I was their only hope, and I had no right to put an end to this hope; their only means of survival. At least by not knowing where I was, they knew I could have come back to the SGC.
My plan was not complicated. Wait for the warriors and riders still surrounding the Stargate to go back to their positions in the castle and dial the DHD back to the SGC in the night, when no one could see or hear me. But as a Jaffa, I soon learned that life goes rarely as planned. The guards stayed by the Stargate for four days and four nights, and then a messenger came to order them to bury the Stargate. I asked Idan to help me to stop the guards, but he sadly told me he could not help me. At least not yet.
Not yet.
And at the time, ‘not yet’ seemed better than never.
I had no other choice but to live among Idan’s people. I hunted with them, I trained with them and I also fought with them when the lord’s men took one of the WoodsMen. After a few weeks, I dressed like them- dark green shirts and capes to be well protected in the woods- and they accepted me as if I were one of them, just like O’Neill did when he first offered me his home. They taught me to fight with a sword and I told them everything I knew about the Goa’uld and their war strategies. They could be useful.
I lived with them for three months and one week. I was in a deep state of Kel’no’reem when Idan walked to me that night. He led me to where the Stargate was buried before and I could not believe my eyes…It was unburied, but still horizontal. I looked gratefully at Idan and his men who still had shovels in their hands and sweat on their foreheads and I shook his hand. I took my GDO out of my pocket and began dialing home. The WoodsMen took their swords out and guarded to allow me time to escape. I could not show them how grateful I was. Before I jumped into the wormhole, Idan told me the reason of his actions.
"You helped us fight for our freedom Teal’c, we thought it would be fair to help you fight for yours!" He exclaimed in his weird language I had finally learned.
I bowed my head and jumped.
*****
"General Hammond!" I said as soon as I was fully recovered from the gate travel, "We need to go back to the planet immediately!" General Hammond approached me open-mouthed and joined me on the ramp, a slow smile appearing on his lips.
"Teal’c! It’s good to have you back! But what happened to the rest of your team?" He asked as he looked behind me.
"I am afraid the rest of SG-1 has been taken prisoner by the lord." I admitted.
"Well in that case I need you to debrief me Teal’c. I won’t risk a rescue if you tell me they’re dead, understood?"
"Understood." I said as I followed him to the briefing room.
I told him everything I knew about what had transpired on the planet, when we were together and when we were separated. He was not happy to learn that Daniel Jackson had been left alone, and I had nothing to say to comfort either him or his fears. All I knew was what I could observe from afar, and it was not much, mostly speculation or hearsay from one of Idan’s men.
"So, from what you’re telling me, the rest of SG-1 is very much alive and living with the lord, or in the case of Dr. Jackson with the king, working as an alchemist. Is that right?" General Hammond asked when I ended my monologue.
"That is correct. We need to go back to the planet immediately and bring them back. O’Neill is in obligation to marry the daughter of the lord and I am afraid the Stargate might not be unburied for a very long period of time." I explained.
"Alright Teal’c," he said as he hit the table with his fist and stood. "I’ll send as many units as I can by tomorrow morning. We’ll send a MALP through and see if the gate is still unburied, if it is, you have a go." He added before he left me seated at the table.
I bowed my head. We are going to find them and bring them home again.
***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ V - The Reunion *****
JACK
So that’s how we got into this mess. And to tell the truth, I don’t know what to hope for anymore. Daniel is out there somewhere and Teal’c is...Who knows where Teal’c is? So this is how we’ll stay for now…in this mess...
*****
SAM
At least when we first got here I knew what to think of the situation. But now? No. Nothing. I don’t even think anymore. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but there is some truth in this. I don’t know what to think of anymore... What should I hope for?
*****
DANIEL
Hope...funny how one day you can be in the darkest gutter ever imagined, without hope or anything else to hang on to, and how the day after how you can see the light and hear the birds.
And the birds are coming closer, singing louder...I feel it because...
Hope is back.
I know how to get us out of here.
*****
TEAL’C
Tomorrow morning will decide of the fate of my friends. If the Stargate is buried again, the rescue will have to wait, and if it is not, we go and bring them back, by force if necessary.
I am going to find them and bring them home again. I have hope of what tomorrow will bring us.
Freedom.
*****
JACK
We sit on the roof, side by side, our shoulders touching, just as usual. We don’t say anything, as usual, we just sit there and observe the stars above. With no lights around and no moon to overshadow them, the stars look wonderful.
I look at Carter leaning backward on her elbows, a small smile on her face.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask her, returning my gaze to the sky.
"Just wondering if home was one of them." She answers pointing at the sky, still smiling sadly.
I look at her staring up again, and I can’t help noticing how nice she looks in the dim light of our torch, right beside us. When she feels my stare on her she looks at me with a frown.
"What?" She asks.
"It’s just that…You know that if I could reach up and hold a star for every time you smile, the whole evening sky would be in the palm of my hand…" I finally manage to say, and when I look into her eyes again, she looks…shocked, to say the least.
But suddenly as she’s about to answer, she doubles in pain and cries out as she falls on her knees and bows her head.
"Carter?"
I put a worried hand on her shoulder and her head turns slowly my way but she doesn’t answer. When I look back into her eyes…
They’re green.
Karrigan.
I wake up in sweat and sit right up into my bed. Oh my God…What a nightmare…Carter turning into Karrigan when I finally manage to say something romantic is the worst thing I could ever dream of. And where the hell did that phrase come from anyway? I mean I am *not* romantic! Maybe my imagination-filled subconscious is overpowering my good sense. Yeah, probably that. I mean it’s not like I think those things! Of course not…But I must admit there are some truths in this dream.
I lie back down in my bed, entwining my fingers behind my head.
We’ve been here for what? 3 months now? And we sit there, on the roof every night, even if we’re exhausted. This is our time. This is the time we have alone together, no servants around, no guards, and more importantly no Karrigan. She’s been a real pain in the butt, even if she isn’t as bad as I first could have thought. I mean she’s nice and all…but she doesn’t understand that I’m not interested in marrying her. I try to stay as far as possible from her, but it’s hard when she has nothing better to do than coming to talk to us. I mean we entertain her… She seems so impressed with our foreignness, our language, our stories and our world. She’s amazed by us and to be honest I’m kinda fed up feeling like her model. I mean she almost worships me for God’s sake! I’m no saint – oh boy am I right on that…- but she makes me feel like I’m on a pedestal. And I don’t like that feeling.
But to go back to our little nights on the roof we spend together, Carter and I, we haven’t missed one since we discovered the spot. Actually, that’s not entirely true, there is one night when we were stuck in a "party" and we couldn’t escape the good lord’s company so we stayed up all night, smiling foolishly and shaking hands to hundreds of people. We were so exhausted that we went right up to our mutual rooms. Yeah, the lord had the good sense not to keep us in the same room. First, we could have planned an escape too easily, and second…you don’t wanna know.
I sigh. I can’t sleep and I hate insomnia…I turn around on my stomach and place my hands under my pillow.
So anyway…Carter lives closer to Karrigan, and she’s basically her servant, which is sick. However, I must admit that they both respect each other. I mean it’s not like Karrigan orders Carter to do anything just to abuse her authority, nothing like that, but I think it’s something called feminine pride. Plus I haven’t been too eager to learn French yet, so she needs her to translate our conversations. I have to say that I didn’t learn by pure selfishness. If I spoke French, then Carter and I would have been separated and we wouldn’t see as much of each other. And I certainly don’t want that to happen. It’s rough enough without Daniel, I don’t need my other ‘linguist’ taken away from me. I don’t wanna be alone here, and in my heart, I think Carter feels the same, even if sometimes she looks exasperated when she translates stuff Karrigan says for hours. Not that her conversations are boring but I understand her feelings…She feels like she has nothing to do with us…Like it should be us alone…But I don’t want that either. I know…I’m a selfish old man.
Plus the lord won’t stop making moves on her. So I guess I’m not so selfish after all! I do that for her own good too. It’s not like she’s interested or anything, I mean, if she was, I would leave them alone, but it’s obvious in her face when he talks to her that she doesn’t want anything to do with the man.
And as for the relationship I keep with the lord, so far it’s only been polite. Except when I punched him…Boy did that feel good… Anyway, he doesn’t like me, and I don’t like him, the feeling is mutual. Sometimes I wonder why he keeps me here. And then I remember…
Karrigan.
Everything always goes back to her. She’s the reason why we can’t go home, the reason I’m stuck here and the reason I’m so close to Carter now. I mean let’s face it…I’ve never been closer to her than I am right now. We spend a good part of the morning together, training at the sword together – and boy is she good – and we meet each night on the roof for our stargazing. We even go when it’s raining, just for the thrill of being together and tell everything that had happened in our day. It’s always the same thing, but we never get bored of hearing it. Sometimes she teaches me some important useful words in French, like ‘where are the bathrooms’ or ‘shut up Karrigan’…Sometimes she even manages to steal something from the kitchens for us to eat or drink –isn’t she great?- and I’d always say the same thing when I’d see her coming with a bottle of what tastes like white wine or mead in her hand.
"Isn’t stealing against regulations Carter?"
And she’d always answer me the same thing, with that dashing smile of hers.
"Oh you betcha!"
So we’d sit comfortably on the roof, looking at the stars for hours, sometimes staying quiet and other times talking like we never have before. The truth is, we have no rules to break here, but still, we play by them. The imaginary rules we both silently consented to respect. We keep on calling each other by rank, just like we would on Earth. We always keep a decent physical distance from each other, except when we fight with the swords and we have to touch, our sweat-covered bodies leaning against each other as our arms are fighting to overpower the other…Ok…If I keep thinking like this, I won’t sleep at all. But what I’m trying to say is that we try to stay at arms-length from each other…Well at least *I* do…I have no idea what she might think, but I assume…Well, if I’m going to assume, I should probably assume nothing at all. Anyway…
I wonder where Daniel is…Yeah, that’s good, think about Daniel, that’s safer… He’s probably at the king’s, just like he’s supposed to. I hope he’s ok. Funny to think that I miss the kid…I never thought I would think that, but here I am. One thing is for sure: he’s alive, because there’s nobody on Earth – or elsewhere, for that matter – harder to kill than Daniel. We talked about him tonight, Carter and I, and from what I understood, she misses him too. We were wondering what was happening to him. Oh well…I guess we could pay him a visit some time. And as for Teal’c, well, all we can do is hope that he’s home. *He* is our only hope.
Carter told me earlier that the lord has asked for a meeting with the two of us tomorrow afternoon. I hope it’s not too serious, I hate those meetings of his, it’s usually the moment when we learn some very bad news. But now I really should sleep if I wanna be in shape to beat the crap out of Carter in our training tomorrow morning.
*****
I open my eyes at the sound of someone knocking at my door.
"Colonel! Get up! You’re gonna lose by default!" Says the muffled voice, and I smile.
I get up and, yawning, I ruffle my growing hair –I really should get a haircut- and walk to the door. I grin as I open it on Carter, who’s leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed on her chest. I notice her eyes wandering a bit on my bare chest and shoulders and I almost feel myself blushing. If not a little proud of her looking at me. But she regains a little self-control and looks up at my face, serious as hell.
"You’re not coming this morning?" She asks, entering my room and looking around, at everything except me.
"To the training? Sure." I answer my own question and she looks at me.
"Well why aren’t you ready then?" She asks, touching stuff on my night table.
"Well, first, because you just woke me, I had a hard night, and second, you’re here talking so I can’t get dressed." I answer, grinning.
"Oh. Right. In that case, I’ll leave you sir. I’ll be…waiting…outside…"she mumbles as she goes to the door. I don’t know why but she looks embarrassed, and it’s cute, to be honest. I just watch her cross the room and she smiles a little before closing the door behind her. I shake my head in thought, a huge grin on my face. What was that about? I mean it’s the first time she actually comes in here and she looked…nervous.
I get dressed as fast as I can and run outside to go and find out. I take my training sword before I get into the yard, saluting people as I go by. I run again as I spot her, already waving her arm around and preparing herself for her eventual loss. Actually, it would be a first, but I keep hoping to beat her. And today’s the big day. I might not have had a great night, but I feel in great shape.
She stops her training when she spots me running towards her and she smiles, wiping sweat with her sleeve. The early mornings are rather cool here, but a sword is heavy and we get hot very quickly.
"Ready to lose again Colonel?" She asks, her smile getting wider when I’m finally beside her.
"Not today Major. I thought of this new move last night and I’m sure you won’t be able to block it. Besides, I feel great today!" I say as I begin my warming-up exercises.
"We’ll see about that sir! I feel like I have lots of energy to spend today." She says as she begins to rotate her arm as a warm-up.
"That’s good then! I won’t have to play nice on ya!" I add as I prepare my sword for our friendly battle. We take position, Carter smiles and hits my sword with hers. I respond by attacking too, three hits on her sword and she begins to back up. But backing up doesn’t mean a thing with Carter. As far as I know, it’s just a tactical trick. She backs up, making me waste my energy when she doesn’t waste any. So far I think that’s how she’s beaten me, by weakening me right at the beginning. But not today. Today I won’t let her do that, I have my new killer hit…She won’t be able to defend herself, that’s for sure. When she’s getting closer to the stone wall behind her, she moves quickly around and begins her attack again, taking back the control I had a second ago. That’s it Carter, keep hitting…I block her every move and when I’m about to do *my* trick, I feel someone behind me and I get distracted. Carter stops when she sees someone above my shoulder.
"Karrigan!" She says, trying to catch her breath, "What can we do for you?"
I don’t think she realized she spoke English, but it doesn’t seem to matter. I turn around and see Karrigan standing there, looking kinda embarrassed but not less proud. She comes closer and smiling at me as she passes by, she goes to Carter and talks to her for a moment.
"Ah…Colonel?" Carter finally says.
"Yeah?"
"Karrigan would like you to teach her how to fight, with the sword sir." She finally translates.
"She’s asking me? You’re better at this than I am! Plus how is she gonna understand what I tell her?" I ask, trying to get out of this. She gives me a look and I understand there’s no talking about this. I nod and drive my sword into the ground. Wiping the sweat on my forehead away with my sleeve, I come closer to them.
Carter hands her sword to Karrigan and the girl takes it with both her hands at first, and then with her left one. She’s a left hander? Oh well…That shouldn’t make too much difference right? She lifts it up and begins waving it around, just like we did when we first arrived on the field. I guess she’s seen us fight before. It’s only then that I notice her clothes, she wears pants and boots and her hair is tied tight on the back of her neck. I think she based herself on Carter to know the appropriate clothes to train. Carter has absolutely refused to wear any dresses so far, so the lord didn’t have much choice but to let her do whatever she wanted. And we kept our fatigues, as well as our jackets, just in case…
We both stand there, arms crossed, and watch Karrigan play with the sword. She looks like she’s having a revelation. She smiles when she begins to feel stronger and more self-assured and she begins to move her sword faster, tracing invisible eights in the air. When she remembers we’re there, she stops and looks at us, and then me. She motions me to take my sword and I do as she silently asked, grabbing my sword out of the ground. I exchange a look with Carter and she nods, encouraging me to lift it up and challenge our young mistress.
I’m the first to clang our sword together and for a moment she looks at me. I shake my head and smile, moving my eyes to where our swords touch. She understands what I mean and she imitates me, gaining her confidence. I hit again, this time a little harder and she responds by blocking harder, and this goes on for a few moments, until I see she’s getting tired. She’s strong, but not as tall and trained as Carter is. So we stop and she gives her sword back to Carter, who takes it with a smile.
"Colonel? You were about to show me your new move?" She asks, raising an eyebrow and lifting her sword to meet mine.
"Hey that’s not fair! You had time to catch you breath!" I accuse, but her smile gets even wider.
"Didn’t you say you were in great shape this morning?" She asks playfully, hitting my sword provocatively.
"Oh I did say that didn’t I?" I say as I begin to meet her hits, her grin getting brighter. From the corner of my eyes I see Karrigan watching us, her arms crossed on her chest. I can tell she’s observing us to learn as much as to, well, watch us, be sure that I won’t ‘cheat’ on her, but I focus on the fight.
Carter moves skillfully and for a moment I’m worried she’s gonna take control of the fight like she’s used to. But no. She tries my right side but that was an error, and she knows it as soon as I block it and reverse the situation. I make a 180 degrees to my right, and blocking her hit from behind I prepare myself for my killer hit. She’s too busy hitting me to notice I’ve changed our positions. And when I’m sure she won’t retaliate, I hit. I try the legs, she jumps, I try the head, she bends down and before she can get up again I hit her side with the non-sharp end of my sword.
"Ha! I won!" I exclaim with a grin.
"Because I let you sir!" She says, smiling and trying to catch her breath as much as I am. "Karrigan has to be impressed…after all, she wants *you* to teach her…" she says as she plants her sword in the ground.
"You dare deny my implacable victory Major?" I ask as I raise my eyebrows and she laughs, walking to where our canteens are.
"You betcha!" she answers with a grin before drinking.
"We’ll see tomorrow morning, Major." I reply threatening. But she just smiles more.
"We will, sir, but for now, I have to go."
I raise en eyebrow as I take the canteen from her hand and drink from it.
"Yeah, the lord wants me to help him with…something." She adds and I nod.
"Alright…well, see ya tonight Sam!" I reply, and I can’t help wondering what the ‘something’ is.
"Actually, sir, we have a meeting this afternoon, see you then!" she says as she begins walking away, back into the castle. "Bye Karrigan!" She adds with a wave in her direction. Karrigan smiles back and looks at me. I smile back before I take another sip from the canteen.
*****
I took a quick bath, put a clean shirt on and went off to the meeting with the lord, trying to "place" my hair as I walked. I was hoping I wasn’t too late, we had a little problem at "work" and it took me some time to get the stuff to work again.
Anyway, I’m here now, that’s what’s important. So I sit in one of the couches in the library, looking around as I wait for Carter and DuVallois to show up. Ha! I thought I’d be late… Speaking of the devil, the lord enters the room, closely followed by Carter who smiles when she sees me sitting there. The man goes to his little private bar in one of the far corners of the room, and serves himself some wine. He looks at me and offers me a drink, and I nod. There’s nothing like alcohol to make you say easily things that are usually hard to say. He offers Carter and she nods too, throwing me a glance. I wonder what they’ve been doing together ever since this morning…
He hands me the cup and I bring it to my lips, the taste feeling like fire as it descends my throat.
"So why the meeting?" I ask, playing with a little thing in gold that was on the table beside me. Carter translates as she comes to sit by my side, our shoulders and thighs touching. I try so hard not to notice these kinds of things…but God that’s hard…
I get distracted when the lord comes to sit in front of us, looking directly into his glass. Ok, first of all, that’s not like him at all not to look at us in the eye. Whatever he has to say must be big. Then his glare falls on me, and he observes me, my still wet hair, my disheveled appearance in general and he sighs, but I don’t move an inch. I’m about a hair away from not caring what he thinks of my appearance. As far as I’m concerned, the worse I look, the less Karrigan will want me. He speaks and I turn to Carter, waiting for her to translate. We’re used to that by now, and she seems more ok with it than when we first arrived. But I guess we can get used to everything…To being away from home and everyone you love for three months, to a presence of a person you hold dear, or less dear…to everything. Except maybe death.
Carter turns to me and looks directly into my eyes. That’s it Carter! No beating around the bush today. I wanna know what the hell is going on.
"Um…sir…You’re not gonna like this." She finally says, obviously uncomfortable.
"That wouldn’t be the first bad news since we got here, now would it?" I reply sarcastically and she just takes a sip of her drink. "So what did he say Major?" I add, sipping too.
"Actually, he’s asking you if you wanna…ah…marry Karrigan." She finally says.
"I think he already knows the answer to that." I reply dryly.
"I think he does, but I think he hopes you’re gonna say yes…"
"Why? The guy doesn’t even like me." I state as I play with the gold thing between my fingers.
"Because his daughter does sir." She answers simply. I look at her and she looks serious. Is she seriously considering it? She sure sounds like she is.
"Alright…"I say to myself as I look at the lord. "Listen…I am *not* going to marry Karrigan, understood?" I affirm as I look into his eyes. From the look he gives me, he did understand, and he doesn’t like it. He throws a look at Carter, looking for a confirmation and she shakes her head. He puts his drink on the table and walks around nervously.
I look at Carter and I see she’s observing me. I shrug and her stare moves from me to the lord. He stops walking and glances in my direction, looking like he’s reached a decision.
"Colonel O’Neill," he says, straightening his back and puffing out his chest. The rest of the sentence is spoken in French but I understood everything I needed. Oh yeah… "Colonel O’Neill, you will marry Karrigan, whether you like it or not!" That’s what he said before he walked up to the door and left. Right now I’m in a state of mind where everything seems to blur, where nothing really matters.
Carter gets up and goes to the bar to fill her now empty glass. I guess she’s being more nervous than I am. But why? I’m the one who gets to marry a kid, I’m the one who’s stuck here! OK, maybe I’m being a little unfair to her…
"What are we gonna do?" She finally asks, taking a big gulp from her glass.
"What did he exactly say?" I reply, getting up too.
"Well, he said that you would have to marry Karrigan and that he would ask the king for the wedding to be in the palace, and maybe even give you titles."
"Did he say when?"
"In a month from now."
"In that case Carter…in a month from now I’ll be getting married and you will…well, I don’t know what you will do, but…"
I’m cut off by a furious Major.
"With all due respect sir, what’s the matter with you?"
"Carter?"
"Well sir you seem to have completely given up!" She accuses and I drop myself back on the couch.
"Given up what? Hope? Yes, yes I have given up hope, because we have to face it Carter, we’re gonna be stuck here, like it or not!" I answer flatly.
"I will not accept that sir. Teal’c is out there somewhere, if we’re lucky he’s on Earth trying to bring us back. I heard the gate was buried, maybe it’s gonna take time, but I refuse to give up after only three months. *I* have confidence in my friends, sir, and I’m sad to realize that you don’t." She finishes and leaves me there, sitting and thinking.
What the hell am I doing? Wake up Jack! You gotta do something…She’s right, as always, Teal’c is somewhere, and so is Daniel. She’s so right…I can’t give up, like I once did… I stand and get the hell out of there, walking will do me some good.
*****
I walk in the corridors, not really knowing why I’ve been summoned. I guess Karrigan heard about our little meeting of earlier and she wants to talk to me now. That wouldn’t be a new thing… I guess Carter is gonna be there too. Good. I have stuff to say to her. Stuff like ‘I’m sorry for being a jerk and giving up so fast’ and ‘you were right, we have to keep hope’. Yeah…I hope she’ll let me do that. Probably. She’s a very forgiving person when it comes to that.
I knock on Karrigan’s door and I wait for someone to answer me. I’m surprised to see Karrigan herself standing there, a smile coming to her lips as she lets me in. Whoa…That’s her bedroom! Why did she invite me *here *? That’s creepy. She gestures me to sit on a chair and I do as she asks, taking in the decor as I do. I’m kinda relieved to see it’s not girlish at all, dark furniture, dark duvet on her bed. There’s a nice painting of her when she was about four in the arms of a woman, the same blonde woman there is in Carter’s room. I guess it’s her mother. And I realize why the lord likes Sam. She looks a lot like the woman on the painting. I guess he has a thing for blondes…
"So Karrigan…"I begin but I stop when there’s a soft knock on the door and Carter pokes her head inside.
"Oh hi sir!" she says when she sees me sitting there. Karrigan speaks and Carter comes in while I stand to tell her what I want to tell her before Karrigan begins the conversation.
"Carter…I wanted you to know that you’re right, we can’t just give up. Even if it’s often the easiest way. I gave up once and by some miracle you came back to get me. I shouldn’t have let you down then, so I wanted to tell you that I won’t make the same mistake twice."
She just stands there, open-mouthed, looking surprised. I don’t blame her, it’s not very often you get to hear Jack O’Neill apologize. But she soon regains control and she smiles.
"I’m glad to hear that sir! You can’t imagine how great it is not to feel alone in this stuff anymore!"
Oh I think I can…
"Anyway…" she says as she turns to Karrigan. They exchange a few words and I think I understood my name, but I don’t know what they say about me. Suddenly Carter turns to me, her cheeks bright red and her eyes closed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that embarrassed. What the hell did Karrigan tell her? She clears her throat and opens her eyes, slowly.
"Sir…Karrigan says…ah…I want you." She mumbles. I didn’t think it was possible for her to get even redder, but I was wrong… I raise my eyebrows and take a step in her direction.
"What was that? I…I don’t think I heard it correctly…"
"I want you sir." She repeats, this time louder and redder.
"You want me?" I ask in disbelief as I take another step forward.
"Yes! I mean no! I mean not…not me per se, but…" she stammers.
I take another step forward.
"But…" I repeat as slowly as I walk, looking in her eyes.
"But Kar…Karrigan says that, sir." She answers, still babbling.
"Oh." I stop walking and watch Karrigan, whose eyebrows are so high, I think she saw Teal’c do that once. I’m not sure if she realized what or rather *who * we were talking about here…But it was certainly not her. At least not from my point of view. She speaks again and Carter changes her weight from foot to foot, clearly very uncomfortable.
"She…ah…she says she’s very happy you agreed to marry her…"
"What? Who the hell told her that?" I ask as I take another step forward.
"I don’t know sir… Everyone knows about your…ah…eventual wedding now, sir." She adds, her cheeks still flushed and her eyes twinkling. I take another step forward. Karrigan speaks again.
"She says that…you don’t have to worry…that…she will be a very good and loving wife…"
"Carter…please…stop translating. I don’t wanna hear any more."
"She wants to say more sir."
"Don’t let her. Tell her I didn’t really give my consent to…our…wedding."
"Are you sure?" I just nod, never leaving her eyes, and she translates, never leaving mine. Karrigan opens her mouth to say something, but then closes it and runs out of the room, almost making the door jump out of its frame.
"Was that a good reaction or a bad reaction?" I ask Carter before taking another step towards her. About three feet separate us now and I can’t help wanting to get closer.
"Bad reaction." She answers simply, still looking into my eyes. "And…I think…I should go after her and smooth things over a little" she adds hastily and she passes by me quickly, practically running out of the room.
Ok…That was awkward.
*****
SAM
That was one of the most embarrassing moments in the life of Samantha Carter… I couldn’t get out of that room fast enough. What the hell was that about? ‘I want you’…What on Earth possessed me to say it like that? I could have said ‘she wants you’, but no, of course not…I had to embarrass myself as much as I could. But what embarrassed me the most is how he responded. I never thought he would…he could…Well, that’s it, I shouldn’t be thinking at all. He always says I think too much, and he’s so damn right about that.
I run after Karrigan, but she’s nowhere to be found. I guess I’ll have to talk to her some other time. I feel kinda sorry for her, she really likes him, she was so happy he had agreed to marry her that I had a hard time telling her the truth about his ‘agreement’. In a sort of weird twisted kind of way however, I feel relieved he didn’t agree to the wedding. Well, I was so angry when he *did* give his consent I couldn’t help myself telling him how I felt, and I regretted it until he apologized. I wasn’t expecting this. He did it so nicely that I couldn’t stay angry with him, and I was so relieved when I realized he was back to hoping with me. At least I won’t feel like I’m stuck alone here anymore.
I don’t really know what to do, and I certainly don’t want to face the colonel right now, so I go to my room and lie down a bit. I need to do some thinking…Oh I said I wouldn’t do that did I? Oh well…I lied, how could I stop thinking? Ok, so let’s think…About what? I don’t know what to think about anymore. I should probably try to find a way to escape or something useful like that, to save the day once again, but the only disturbing thing that comes to mind is the colonel.
I mean we spent the last three months together each day, each night, and I’ve never been closer to him than I am right now and it’s kind of annoying. I shouldn’t get that close to my CO, it’s dangerous and our earlier discussion only illustrates the point. The thing is…maybe we should take a break from seeing each other, maybe I shouldn’t go up to the roof tonight…Ha…I sound like we’re an old couple unable to support each other, but it’s not the same thing at all. It’s oh so different… We should take a break, because this is getting too close to a catastrophe. Here our positions don’t matter anymore, so I guess this is not what is stopping me, but I think I’m just scared to lose what we have now for a thing that would end when we go back to Earth. And yes I have hope. I am certain we are
gonna go back home, and I think that’s what stops me from falling in love with him…Although it might be too late already, but let’s not go there. I will not let anything get in the way of our friendship. If he has to marry Karrigan, even if I feel like she stabs me with my sword every time I think about the alternative, I think I would let him be. If he’s happy, then I’m happy. That’s how it works. But I so hope he won’t marry her…
I’m disturbed by a knock on my door. I’m afraid for a moment to see O’Neill on the other side of the door, but no. Lord DuVallois is there.
/"What can I do for you sir?"/ I ask as I lean tiredly on the doorframe. This has been a difficult day, first my first defeat in the hands of the colonel, then our meeting and then our…ah…discussion, a rather embarrassing one I must add. I just feel like sleeping.
/"Um…may I come in?"/ He asks as politely and shyly so I let him in, closing the door behind him. He walks in front of the bed and looks at the picture above.
/"Who was that?"/ I ask because I’ve always wanted to know.
He turns to look at me, and he smiles sadly.
/"My wife."/ He answers, bringing his gaze back to the painting.
I feel very uncomfortable so I try to change the subject.
/"You needed to see me?"/
/"Yes."/ He answers as he regains some of his dignity. /"We will leave soon."/
/"To go where?"/
/"To see the king, you should be honored, your friend will be married in the king’s church."/
/"Honored? You are the one who forces my friend to get married, he doesn’t want to."/
/"He will in time."/
/"I don’t think so. You can do whatever you want, but this will only make him even more angry and bitter towards you. Personally I wouldn’t want a groom who hates me, but that’s your choice. But what I’d want even less is a whole planet, *my * planet, against yours. Because if they do come back here, they will find us."/
/"Is that a threat Major Carter?"/
/"No, only the truth sir."/ I reply, just as flatly.
He just stares at me for a moment and I hold his gaze, and then he walks off, closing the door behind him.
I didn’t mean to say those things, but I’m just so damn tired and he just pisses me off. I don’t think he realizes what he’s doing to us! Oh but I think he does, very much so. He’s just doing what’s best for his own interests and I’m beginning to get sick of that. I know he’s been trying to "court" me ever since we got here, and just because I look a little like his wife that is not an excuse not to let us go. There must be something else stopping him. Something more important to a lord’s eyes. I don’t know what that could be, but I think I have to keep my eyes and hears open. What if it’s Daniel he wants? What if he’s doing this just to get the secret of alchemy? Because from what I could observe in my time here, the lord himself doesn’t know how this stuff works. From what I understood, the king gave DuVallois some…favors, in exchange for his loyalty. So maybe sending a foreigner to learn the formula was the best thing that could ever happen to him. And in the mean time, he keeps us here, because, for one, Karrigan likes the Colonel, and second…the lord likes me…
I have to find the colonel.
And for that I’ll have to wait for tonight, for our usual meeting on the roof. This has been a strange tradition, us meeting up there. We discovered the place once and the view was so nice we found ourselves meeting there without really knowing the other would be there. But then, after a couple of nights, we declared that this would be our spot, our moment of the day when it was only he and I, when we would have nothing to think about, nothing to worry about. We would just sit there, sometimes silently, sometimes talking until very late in the night. It’s those times that I realized how close we were getting, and how dangerous it was. Let’s face it, there are two alternatives now. First, we go back to Earth, where the military waits for us. Second, we stay here, and more than likely the colonel will have to get married. That doesn’t leave us much choice. I should really stop thinking about those kind of things. I won’t solve any of this alone. Interrelations are not like math or physics, and they are more complicated to understand than standard formulas. Well, at least, that goes for me. I’m far too logical to understand this heart business. Even though sometimes I have no choice.
Anyway…I lie down on the bed and close my eyes. Maybe if I sleep I’ll stop thinking. Yeah, that’s the best way to stop fretting before I can see the colonel tonight.
*****
I run silently into the kitchens, watching to see if there’s anyone still awake. Seems clear, so I go to the cupboard and take some bread, and then I run to the roof. The colonel is already there, walking nervously around. He must feel as awkward as I do. When he sees me coming he stops pacing and smiles a little, and I return the gesture nervously. For the first time he doesn’t ask me if stealing is against regulations, and for the first time I don’t answer him ‘you betcha’. I approach and sit, handing him one of the breads I took and he accepts it without saying anything.
"You talked to Karrigan?" He asks after a while.
"No, actually, I didn’t run fast enough, I don’t know where she went." I answer simply. I feel like there are so many things to talk about, but I just don’t know how to get there.
"DuVallois came to see me this evening." I tell him and his head snaps in my direction.
"What did he say?" He asks, biting into the bread.
"That we would leave soon…for the king’s palace."
"Weren’t we supposed to go there in a month?"
"We were, but apparently he changed his mind."
"Wonder why…"
It’s the moment to tell him my suspicions about the lord’s motive and I tell him everything. Everything except what I really wanted to talk about…us. I don’t feel like it’s the time, but he did say that I was right about the lord, and that it makes sense. So we sit there for a moment, and then we decide to go hit the sack, even if it’s still relatively early.
*****
"What’s that smell?"
The colonel sits in front of me in the coach, and it takes me a while to get what he’s talking about, then smell it too…This horrible, unbearable smell that can surely only be a mix of sewage and manure. I could just picture Teal’c saying ‘I believe it is the horses O’Neill’…and then with the look he would receive from the colonel he would raise an eyebrow, not understanding the meaning under the look. But all this is in my imagination, Teal’c is not here to raise an eyebrow and Daniel is not here to explain us the meaning of the smell or whatever he’d have to say.
Just as I’m about to answer that I don’t know, the driver stops the coach.
/"The city."/ He says as he points forward, uphill. We can see roofs and small houses leaning on the side of the cliff and above, a huge castle with two big towers to guard it.
"Now *that’s* a castle." O’Neill states, looking impressed.
"Sir, I think it’s the city that smells like that." I say.
"We’re talking about pollution right?" he asks fearfully.
"From what I can see, in a manner of speaking, sir, yes." I reply, grimacing as the smell amplifies. This is getting worse with every step the horses take.
"I guess I shouldn’t have put on my new boots huh?"
I smile as I shake my head. The man never changes.
And I’m more than ok with that.
***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ VI - The Salvation *****
JACK
A hot bath is just what I need right now. After hours in an uncomfortable coach and a few hours more to get settled in the castle, I feel so dirty and filthy. We got an entire suite of rooms and I must say that it seems comfortable. I get a clean shirt, pants and underwear out of my bag and put it on the bed, ready for me when I get out. I take a towel and go to the bathroom, sliding into the hot water. God it feels good. I take a moment to relax in the water, closing my eyes and resting my head on the side of the bath. When I feel completely calm, I take the "soap" and begin cleaning my hair and myself. I really need a haircut. I wonder if Carter would volunteer to cut it for me.
When I’m so clean I practically shine, I get out of the bath and dry myself. Putting the towel around my waist, I get out of the room and walk to the bed.
Wait a minute.
Didn’t I just put my clothes there, on the bed? Oh I think I did. I turn around and jump when I see Karrigan standing there, hands on her hips and a smile on her face. I gulp.
"Karrigan…where are my clothes?" I ask as I place the towel tighter around my waist. She doesn’t answer, probably didn’t understand, but walks slowly towards me, observing me, from head to toes.
"Karrigan…" I try once more and I succeed in making her look up into my eyes. "This is not a good idea." I say as I shake my head, but she doesn’t stop walking until she’s standing just in front of me. I really don’t know what to do and to tell the truth I’m not in any position to run around the castle. So I stay there and try once more to distract her.
"Karrigan I…" I stop when she gently takes my hand in hers and she looks at it, placing palm to palm and measuring our fingers. As long as her hands are busy with nothing other than *my* hand I’m ok. Then she takes a step forward and puts one of her hands on my still damp chest and I gasp, backing up one step and grabbing her wrist at the same time. Bad idea… I feel the towel around my waist loosen and slip down my hips. I try to grab it but my movement brings Karrigan’s eyes to my actions, and I’m afraid she sees more than I want her to see…I finally grab the towel and bring it back up.
"Karrigan, stop tha…" I’m cut off by the door opening in a burst and the lord walking in, stopping right in his tracks when he sees Karrigan there and myself close to her, a hand on my towel, with nothing more than *that* towel as a dressing. It must look very bad from his point of view. But so far he hasn’t said anything, he just stands there, open-mouthed, still frozen in his outburst. After a few seconds that feel like eternity, he shouts to one of his men behind him and the man rushes out of the room.
I take a step forward and raise my hands in defense, trying to calm things down a bit. Just as I’m about to say something, anything, the man comes back, Carter on his heels. She stops dead in her tracks and she looks exactly the same way the lord did a few seconds ago.
"Sir!" She finally exclaims, closing the door. The lord speaks and Carter frowns, taking in my lack of clothes, my wet hair, and probably the embarrassed look on my face.
"This is not what it looks like!" I announce, attempting to avoid death a much as possible.
But she didn’t listen to me, because I spoke along with the lord, who’s clearly panicking.
"Sir what were you thinking? Inviting Karrigan in here?" She asks, apparently very angry and disappointed with me. But she doesn’t understand! She doesn’t understand the only woman I want is herself! She doesn’t understand Karrigan is absolutely nothing compared to her! She doesn’t understand anything…She doesn’t understand I did nothing to lose her trust or friendship! I have to make her understand…
"Carter…" But she won’t let me talk.
"The lord says the wedding is now an obligation since his daughter has been compromised."
"Compromised?" I repeat, getting angrier by the minute. But they’re not listening, the lord is too busy trying to get me to marry his daughter.
"He says that since you are unable to behave yourself until the wedding, you will be locked into your room, getting out only when he gives permission."
And on this, they leave. All of them. Carter, Karrigan, the lord, and the few other witnesses.
"Carter!" I shout at the now closed door, and I hear the click of the lock.
Damn.
*****
SAM
A week.
He’s getting married in a week. Which means we’ve been here for a couple of weeks now, two and a half, maybe three.
I haven’t really talked to him since the lord caught him in a "compromising" situation. Well, we did exchange a few hellos from time to time, but no real conversations like we got used to having in our time here. I was just so angry with him! I couldn’t believe he could do this to SG-1, to his friends, to *me*. I mean how could he cease to trust us again? He said he’d never let us down again…Way to keep your promises O’Neill!
But God I miss him.
I never thought I’d feel addicted to a man. Especially if the man is called Colonel Jack O’Neill, but oh boy was I wrong…I’ve felt so alone and depressed since he got locked in, I never thought it’d be that hard to be separated from the man. Still the same problem: I just shouldn’t think at all. I wonder what I’m gonna do when he gets married…to someone who’s not me, someone younger, prettier… Speaking of marriage, they’re preparing the ceremony now and it’s gonna be big, to impress the subjects as well as the host; the king. Speaking of the king, the lord has arranged for me to meet him right now, in front of the whole court. This is going to be fairly embarrassing.
I rub my hands together to get rid of the nervousness. I don’t know if the colonel will be there too. I’d like to see him again. And he *does* have some explaining to do to his second in command about a certain night when he got caught "before wed" with his soon-to-be wife. Not that he owes *me* an explanation, but he could at least give one to the Major.
I walk along the corridors of the castle, getting more and more nervous as I approach the "meeting" room. I know there’s a lot of people in there, just looking at the king, or talking together. And I also know they all know the stranger is coming tonight, so they all decided to come and see. I sure hope O’Neill will come too. I don’t wanna be alone in there. I know, this is stupid, but I can’t help it.
My escort man stops at the big doors and looks at me before opening them. We can hear people inside, a lot of people. I take a deep breath and nod a little, giving my agreement to go in. He opens the door and I gasp. About one thousand pairs of eyes turn to look at me. I feel so little – and uncomfortable - in my dress that the lord insisted I wear, I stop before entering and look at the end of the row. On the throne sits the king, and beside him the lord stands, turning to look at the newcomer – me. There’s another man beside the lord and when he turns around at the whisper my entrance caused, I gasp again. First his mouth opens as much as mine, and then he smiles and raises a hand in a small wave.
Daniel.
*****
DANIEL
I really didn’t know what to expect. Amalia and myself ran around looking for the place and I was so worried I’d be late! But no, Sam was, actually. But she was there, she was finally there. I was kinda surprised to notice that Jack wasn’t with her, but I shook the thought away when she began walking towards me, in the aisle. I couldn’t help myself, I had to go meet her half way and hug her tightly, relieved to see she was ok. In fact she looked great, in a marine blue dress, her hair a little longer than usual, but still the same Sam I always knew.
I pull us apart and rest my hands on her shoulders, taking in her features and she does the same with me.
"What’s with the goatee Daniel?" She asks as she smiles and pinches my chin. I rub my jaw and smile too, a bit embarrassed by my new "look". I wasn’t supposed to keep it, then I got used to it, but I think now I’ll shave it.
"Couldn’t help myself!" I laugh. It feels so weird to speak English again, I’m sure I have a French accent… "You look great Sam. You haven’t changed a bit." I say more seriously.
"It’s so good to see you Daniel!"
I turn and look at the king, who has a smile on his lips, and then Amalia, on his side.
"Come on Sam, I have a few people to introduce you to." I say as I grab her elbow and lead her to the throne.
/"Your majesty, this is Major Samantha Carter, a great scientist as well as an excellent friend of mine."/ I say as I bow my head and Sam does the same. I smile at Amalia and she returns the gesture. The lord seems kinda disappointed for not being able to present her himself, but he’ll get over it.
/"It is a pleasure to finally meet you Major Samantha Carter"/ the king answers as he bows his head.
The lord takes her away to introduce her to many, many people and she doesn’t look very interested, but she goes anyway. Amalia and I stay here, watching her walking around and smiling to new people. I’m so happy not being in her shoes right now. We just stand there for a couple of minutes and then I realize I haven’t seen Jack yet. I really have to ask Sam when she gets a minute. I hope nothing serious happened to him…Sam will know. Oh well, speak of the devil, looks like the lord is done with his presentations. She walks towards us and she looks, well, kinda depressed.
"You ok Sam?"
"I’m fine Daniel," she notices my entwined hand with Amalia’s and she frowns, a slow smile forming on her lips. "Who’s this?" She asks mischievously.
/"Oh! Um…Sam, this is Amalia, a…very good friend of mine."/ I say as I smile at her. Sam catches the look and grins too, shaking hands with Amalia.
/"Daniel,"/ Amalia says, /"I’ll go walk around a bit, so you can be alone with your friend. I’m certain you have plenty of things to say to each other, so…I’ll see you later."/ She adds as she kisses me on the cheek and leaves.
I look up at Sam and she’s smiling. Probably wondering what I’m up to.
"So, Sam! Where is Jack? I thought he’d be here with you." I ask, changing the subject. I notice her wince at the sound of the Jack, but it’s soon gone.
"Ah…He’s…he’s in prison."
I almost choke on my cocktail.
"Prison?" I ask in disbelief.
"Well, not prison "prison", but, ah…he is locked into his room until the lord gives him permission to get out." She answers.
"What did he do?" I have a hard time believing this.
"Maybe it’d be better if *he* told you…"
"Yes! Plus I need to talk to you both guys…" I look around to make sure that no one is listening, even if no one actually understands. I take her elbow and lead her to a place slightly less public.
"The Stargate was unburied yesterday, and a man went through. According to what I heard, it could very well be Teal’c. So if we can make it to the Stargate tonight, by tomorrow morning we’re out of here." Her mouth opens but she closes it soon enough.
"We have to find the colonel." She announces.
I told Amalia we were going to see Jack and she said she’d wait for us in the room, so Sam and I flew through the corridors, seeking Jack, two escort men accompanying us. Apparently, she knows where he is because she navigates very confidently. When we’re finally at the end of one of the corridors we crossed, she stops in front of a closed door. She seems to hesitate before knocking and then she turns to me.
"Ah…I think I’ll just let you guys alone in there."
I frown and look at her, but she really looks like she doesn’t want to come in. I wonder what happened to make her so uncomfortable to confront him.
"Ok…" I finally say as I push the door open.
*****
JACK
I’ve had nothing to do for weeks. I can’t believe he’s done this to me, and I can’t believe that Carter believed *him* just like that. So basically I’m bored out of my skull. I still got one week before the wedding and I feel like I’ve let my friends down again. Carter is angry, Daniel is probably making a new life and Teal’c is nowhere to be found. I guess I have nothing better to do than just sit here and be bored, feeling sorry for myself.
There’s someone at the door, I can hear voices. But I don’t care. Whoever it is, I don’t care.
Wait a minute.
This is my chance to get the hell out of here. I can easily knock the newcomer out and run to the gate. Even if it’s buried, I need to take my chances. It’s clear that Carter doesn’t want anything to do with me, and Daniel…Well I’m sure Daniel is happy somewhere…Maybe I could find him before I leave.
I get up and go beside the door, waiting for the person to enter and then I’ll knock him out. The door opens and I punch the guy who falls back on the floor.
Daniel.
"Nice to see you too Jack." He says as he rubs his jaw.
"For God’s sake Daniel, what are you doing here?" I ask as I offer him my hand to help him up. But instead of taking it, he gets up on his own, and I’m surprised to feel his fist on my jaw. Ouch. That hurt.
"We’re even." He only says as he looks me up and down and I do the same. The man has not changed a bit, only a goateed-chin, and the hair a little longer than before.
A movement outside the door catches my eyes and I turn to see Carter standing there, a frown on her face. She smiles a little uncomfortably and my heart skips a beat when I take in her clothes.
She’s wearing a dress.
She’s actually wearing a dress.
And she looks fabulous.
"Ah…are you sure you guys are gonna be ok?" she asks, observing our bloodied lips. We both nod a little and she leaves.
She just leaves, closing the door behind her. What the hell is wrong with her? I glance back at Daniel and he sits down on my bed.
"So Jack…what happened?" He asks, blinking at me like he always does.
*****
DANIEL
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that much.
Jack? With Karrigan stealing his clothes? That was the best! And Sam believing he was actually trying a move on the girl. Jack thought it wasn’t funny and he was ready to punch me again but I couldn’t help laughing at his story. He always has to get in trouble the poor man. This time it was worth it though, I had the chance to laugh my head off, as well as repay Jack for the punch he gave me when I came in. I surely wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction. I had expected a hug, maybe, but not a right hook.
Anyway, he told me all that had happened while he was at the lord’s and I told him all about Amalia and he said he didn’t mind if she came back with us. I was kinda relieved because I didn’t know how he would react to the fact that I have found love again. He was happy for me, but I noticed a sad sparkle of disappointment in his eyes when I told him the news. He then asked me to explain to Sam what had happened – or rather *not* happened – with Karrigan on that night. He said that she had barely talked to him since. I told him she was jealous, but he just shrugged the thought away.
You can believe whatever you want to believe my friend… I won’t interfere in your complicated stories if you don’t want me to. But I have to admit that he looked so disheveled and depressed I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. So I gave him my word that I would talk to Sam, try to soothe things a little.
Then I told him about the Stargate and Teal’c, and I could clearly see hope coming back to his features. I got more and more excited and soon we had a plan of escape. We have to be quick. The Stargate won’t be unburied forever and we thought tonight was the chance. It’s still relatively early so I’ll get the chance to talk to Sam and if everything goes as planned, she’ll also get the chance to talk to him. They really have to explain things to each other, but explain fast. I’ll make sure that Amalia has everything she needs for the journey.
I get back to the throne room, still full of people, and I spot Sam and Amalia talking in one of the corner of the room. I practically run to meet them and take Sam apart for a second, with an approving smile from Amalia.
"We’re going tonight." I state and she smiles, and I can see excitement in her eyes. "But I have to talk to you first. Come on, we need some place private." I say as I grab her elbow and lead her into another room, closing the door behind us.
"What is it Daniel?"
"Jack told me what happened and…" I can’t help chuckling at the thought, "he asked me to explain to you since you don’t really seem like wanting to talk to him."
She opens her mouth to protest but I cut her off with a gesture of my hand.
"Maybe you should sit down." I suggest and she sits on a chair, still looking at me. "Ah…ok. How do I tell you this? Well, first of all, what you saw in his room a couple of weeks ago really wasn’t what it looked like." I chuckle again. "You won’t believe this. He took a bath, and when he got out, Karrigan was there and she hid his clothes, so he was stuck with only this towel around his waist."
"This is what he told you?" She asks, suspicious.
"Let me finish. So he got out and Karrigan was there. He asked her where his clothes were but she made a move on him."
"Daniel, I really don’t wanna hear the rest." She says as she gets up. So I was right, she *is* jealous…
I put my hands on her shoulder and make her sit again. She looks up surprised at me and I smile.
"The last thing he wanted was Karrigan to make a move on him. He really doesn’t want anything to do with her. That’s basically what he told me." I say as I let go of her shoulders.
She frowns, still suspicious.
"Why would I believe him? For all I know he’s marrying her next week!"
"He’s not anymore. We’re going tonight, remember?"
She sighs and looks up at me again.
"You believed him?" She asks, on the verge of accepting the truth.
"Yes. If only you saw his face when he explained to me, you would have believed him too. He’s sincere Sam. I know he won’t let us down."
She nods and gets up, a determined look on her features.
"I’ll go talk to him." She says as she storms out of the room.
I grin.
*****
SAM
I run through the corridors, trying to get to his room as fast as I can. I wanted so much to believe Daniel, and he gave me the courage to do so. Now I need a little more courage for what I’m about to do.
I stop at his door, knock and enter, without waiting for his answer. When he sees me he gets up from his bed and just stands there, waiting for my next move. Here it is sir.
I walk to him and, swinging my arm, I punch him on the jaw. He falls back a little, surprised by the shock.
"That was for not explaining to me!" I say angrily, pointing at his chest. I turn around on my heels but he grabs my arm and the next thing I know, his face descends in a blur and his lips crush mine, kissing me passionately.
He pulls away, panting.
"That was for not letting me!" He answers and I kiss him again, threading my hands in his hair and pulling him close.
*****
DANIEL
I hope Sam and Jack are ok. I’m sure they are. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t be standing here. I would be listening to one of them rage. I take Amalia’s hand in mine and she smiles up at me. I guess I’m nervous. It’s not every night that you’re going home. It’s been only a couple of minutes since Sam left, and I guess I should leave them more time with each other, but we really can’t.
/"You got everything you need? Even the project you’ve been working on?"/ I ask Amalia. She nods and I decide to go see what they’re doing up there. I lead Amalia through the corridors and when we finally see Jack’s room, they both come out, Jack first and then Sam. I take in their appearances but they look normal, not angry, not too disheveled. Jack jumps when he sees me and Amalia but he soon comes to meet us, Sam on his heels. I quickly introduce him to Amalia and this time I’m not too embarrassed. He smiles and shakes her hand and then we run.
We run like hell.
The corridors are empty and dark but so far we haven’t met anyone. I look behind and when I look back in front of me I spot two guards coming straight at us. I take Amalia’s hand and we hide in a doorframe and I see Jack and Sam do the same. I recognize the guards to be Jack’s as they pass by us without seeing us, probably drunk but not drunk enough to realize Jack’s not there anymore. When they’re gone we begin to run again, as fast as we can because we know that it’s only a matter of seconds before they realize we’re gone, and we better hurry…Suddenly I freeze when I hear a shout coming from behind us, probably the alarm. Amalia knows the castle by heart and she decides to take the reins from now on. She guides me and passes in front of Jack who just looks at her, following only when Sam does too.
We run and pass through small corridors until we arrive in front of a wall with no doors, no windows. We try to catch our breaths while Amalia touches the wall, like she’s looking for some sort of secret passage, just like in books or movies. She finally finds what she was looking for and plants her fingers in a small hole in the wall and it opens, showing stairs going down. She begins climbing down the steps and we follow her.
/"This will lead directly to the stables!"/ She announces as we begin running again and we hear the door shutting slowly above the stairs, cutting out the light, and it takes us a few seconds to get used to the darkness. As soon as we’re ready we run faster. I have no idea where we are, or where this is going to take us, but it’s easy to tell we’re alone in here. Amalia found us a good way out…
God I love her.
I seek her hand and she grabs mine tightly. We run like this for at least five minutes and just as I’m about to get very tired, I can see stairs going up and a door upstairs. Amalia goes first and I follow her, with Sam and Jack on our heels. Amalia opens the door slowly but it creaks and Amalia makes a face but opens it anyway and I realize we’re now in the stables, just like she said. We all get out of the passage quietly and Jack indicates for us to take some horses. I grab one and Amalia grabs one too, and Sam and Jack do the same. There are no saddles near, so we decide to go without, even though I’m sure I won’t be able to stay up there for long. At least we have to try and there’s no time to get the horses saddled. We jump onto the horses and we push them forward. We gallop through the yard as fast as we can but soon we’re located. I can hear voices shouting around us, probably the guards. A horn blows and Amalia’s horse panics for a moment but she soon get it under control again. I have no idea how we can possibly make it to the gate safely.
Suddenly there are whistling sounds, just like when a bullet passes right beside you. I realize these are not bullets, but arrows, they’re trying to hit us with arrows…One of them strikes Jack’s horse’s rump and it kicks for a moment. Jack tries his best to stay on but the horse finally gets him and Jack falls on the ground. I see Sam turn around and extend her hand to Jack so that he can ride with her. He takes it as she passes by him and she brings him up behind her. The arrows continue to fall down around us and Amalia and I have to slow our horses so that Sam can catch up with us. When she’s right behind us we start galloping again. The arrows begin to fade and I think we’re ok for now. Even if they decide to send people after us, we have at least five miles between us. We make the horses gallop a little slower, so that they can make the whole trip.
I hear a moan coming from behind and I turn to see Jack holding his leg, blood in his hands.
"Jack! What the hell happened?" I ask, worriedly.
"What do you think Daniel? I got half of an arrow in my leg…" He answers between clenched teeth.
"Daniel we have to stop…" Sam says, worry clear on her face.
Amalia turns her horse around so that she can be at Jack’s side and, jumping down she runs in the woods on our right. She comes back quickly with some leaves in her hands.
/"This will stop the bleeding."/ She says, putting the herbs on Jack’s bloodied leg. He grimaces but soon gets over it and Amalia gets back to her horse and we start running again.
*****
TEAL’C
"Chevron 7…locked. Wormhole established."
I breathe out a sigh of relief. The Stargate is still unburied. This is our chance. General Hammond bows his head and gives the permission to send a M.A.L.P. device through the Stargate. I silently watch the visual telemetry.
The Stargate is still horizontal, but we had expected this, therefore the device can easily get to the ground. There is no one in the perimeter, and the surroundings appear clear.
General Hammond nods and I walk into the gate room, ready to embark along with five other units behind me.
"Teal’c, you bring them back safely, and I also order you not to hurt anybody unless provoked. Understood?"
I bow my head.
I walk through.
*****
JACK
I didn’t know we were followed.
We rode until the morning and we could finally recognize the lord’s property as well as the path that leads to the village near the gate, and then the path to the gate itself. My leg still hurt like hell, but at least the bleeding stopped and I could endure the pain until Fraiser can check it out. Ha! Fraiser…It’s been a while since I last saw her, and everybody else.
What waited for us at the gate surprised me even more than the first ambush. There was Teal’c, with about 40 airmen around the gate, searching and watching for any coming threats. Sam stopped her horse and the others did the same and I smiled, exchanging a look with Sam.
So they didn’t let us down after all…
Sam started the horse again, and when Teal’c heard us coming, he first raised his staff weapon, but then dropped it on the ground when he realized who exactly was coming and he came running our way. I jumped down - not without a moan - and I saw from the corner of my eye the others doing the same. Teal’c pulled me into the biggest bear hug I ever had and I returned the gesture, I was so happy to see the guy and his worm again. He then hugged Daniel and Sam and finally got introduced to Daniel’s friend.
I began shaking hands with some airmen and it felt so good to be one of them again. But then, just as we were about to begin dialing home, the sound of a horse coming from behind us made me turn around.
It was Karrigan.
I didn’t know we were followed.
She is there, on her big horse, the wind in her hair, and she looks rather upset. I decide to clear up things with her for once and for all. I gesture for Carter to follow me, to translate, and she silently agrees. I walk up the hill and Karrigan meets me half way, getting down from her horse. It’s only then that I notice the tears on her cheeks.
"Karrigan…" I begin, trying to be strong for both of us. "You have to let me go. I don’t belong here." I try again and I hear Carter translating behind me.
/"But you saved me…"/ she stammers, sniffing and wiping her tears away with her hand. /"From the boars…and then you took care of me…You’re my hero…"/ And the sobs continue. I put my hands on her shoulders to make her look up at me, I want her to understand even if we don’t actually speak the same language. I want her to know how I feel just by looking into my eyes.
"Karrigan…I don’t wanna be your hero, I wanna be your friend, not some model you fantasize about. You’re smart, and beautiful and I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll love you just as much as you love him. But that’s not me. I’m sorry." I take the hands on her shoulders away and back up one step.
I hope I haven’t broken her heart even more, but she can’t keep me here against my will. And certainly not make me marry her. She cries freely now, and I gulp, trying to swallow the choke in my throat. I’m so sorry…
I’m about to leave but she grabs my arm and hugs me. I think she understood. I look up and share a look with Carter who nods her approval. There’s something in her eyes though and I can’t put my finger on it.
The sobs against my chest begin to fade and Karrigan looks up at me through teary eyes. She smiles sadly and turns around to leave. I’m so sorry to do this to her but my heart is elsewhere, and no one can ever change that. I watch her climb up onto her horse and glance one last time behind her. I try a smile and she waves in return, and then she’s gone.
Carter comes up beside me and follows my gaze which is still on Karrigan’s retreating form.
"You ok sir?" She asks worriedly.
"Yeah…"
"You said the right things." She adds and she has no idea how good it feels to hear that. I finally turn to look at her and nod a little.
"Come on sir, let’s go home." She says as she takes hold of my elbow and we begin walking back to the Stargate. Just as we’re about to dial again, the sound of another horse comes from behind. We turn and this time it’s the lord.
And behind him his armed escort.
Carter sighs and I just analyze the situation. Ok…I think there’s more of us now. He shouldn’t try anything stupid, he’s a smart guy. At least that’s what I hope. DuVallois comes down the hill towards us but his escort stays up there. He speaks and Carter, Teal’c and Amalia turn to look at Daniel. He looks embarrassed but shakes his head. DuVallois takes a gun out of his pocket, one of *our* guns, and points it at Daniel’s chest.
"What does he want?" I whisper in Carter’s ear.
"The formula for the alchemy…" she answers and I’m sure there’s some disappointment in her voice. She was right about the guy, but was hoping she wasn’t. I exchange a look with Daniel and he gets a piece of paper out of his pocket. He looks at it one more time, and then exchanges a look with his girlfriend. He walks forward and extending the paper, he then brings it back to him, looking at it again, as if trying to memorize the ingredients. Then he does something that surprises me as well as the lord, from the look on his face.
Daniel eats the paper.
He actually ate the formula to transform metals into gold. I can’t believe it. And from what I can tell, the lord doesn’t either. He drops his gun by his side and closes his eyes. Poor man. If we weren’t in such a delicate situation I would have laughed. He then turns to Carter and climbs down from his horse to come and meet her. He takes her hands in his and talks for a minute and I think it’s time for me to leave them alone. I think he understands he can’t keep us here.
They talk for a few minutes and then Carter shakes her head and he kisses her hand. Then he lets go of her, watching her leave sadly. I nod to the lord, ironically thanking him for letting go of us, of Carter, and he nods too and then leaves.
We can go home.
*****
KARRIGAN
Letting him go was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my short life. I was well aware that he did not return the feelings – the true feelings - I felt for him, but I had to keep hope. I had to believe that if he stayed here, with me, well that maybe, just maybe, he’d feel the same one day. But in my heart, I always knew his heart was not mine. I always knew he’d look back at his old life, the life he almost never talked about with me. I always knew he’d go back to his old friends. That’s why I followed him that night. That’s why I watched as he kissed another woman, a great woman, to whom I could never compare to in his eyes. I wanted to hate her, and I’m certain she wanted to hate me too, but I couldn’t, for some odd reason, I couldn’t bring myself to hate her. And I like to think, to hope, that she didn’t hate me either. I never wanted to hurt her, or Jack, and it pains me that I have. I know it’s not me personally, but like it or not, I came between them. I’m also the one who, trying to get them away from each other, brought them closer. I guess I did repay them for what I did. Because of me they finally know what the feelings are they have for each other.
I hope they’re happy together now, because I know I never will be. I know, I’m still quite young, but most girls of my age are already married or engaged. I was lucky to find someone I loved, but I was unlucky to find someone who didn’t return the feeling. I guess that’s what it feels like to be heartbroken. That’s what it feels like to be lonely. Funny, because before the strangers, I was alone, but never lonely. But now…I guess I have to move on. I have to forget the past four months and enjoy life as much as I have in my seventeen years of life.
It’s time to move on…
I hope they’re happy together.
LORD L…ONARD DUVALLOIS
My wife’s name was Florence. And, mourning on her grave, I can remember every detail of her features, of her smile, of the color of her eyes and the smell of her skin. But maybe it’s not really her that I see in my head. Maybe the features I think I’m recalling are not the features of my deceased wife. I think the face I see in my head belongs to a charming woman who goes by the name of Samantha Carter.
Samantha Carter.
An angel. But not mine. Never my angel. She has always been someone else’s angel. A colonel’s who happened to break my daughter’s heart as much as she broke mine. I never should have taken them into my home. It was a huge mistake and I promise to any gods that live out there that I never will make the same mistake again.
I chuckle bitterly as I think of the archeologist eating the formula. I never thought he’d do that, and I just have to congratulate him for being so brave, because I couldn’t be so brave to give up such wealth to live comfortably and modestly. I have always been taught that a man could be defined by his social position, and I believed it for a good part of my life, but now? No. Now I know that what defines a man – or a woman – is his or her actions. Those strangers were ten times more qualified than myself to wear the title of a lord. But I guess this is the legacy they leave behind.
Time for me to start over and be a real lord.
Leave the angels behind and start over.
***** ~~Feminine Instinct~~ VII - EPILOGUE *****
JACK
The corridors of the SGC haven’t changed at all since I last saw them. The same dull gray concrete, and the same floors with red, green and blue lines. I just had a long talk with Hammond, he wanted me to debrief him right away, so I obliged. I told him everything that had happened on the planet, well the technical stuff of course, nothing of my little adventure with Carter, or the kiss we shared last night.
Ha! Last night…I feel like it’s been ages since last night. It’s like everything happened in a blur, like a dream, and I can’t remember all the details, but some of them I do. The most important stuff…What her lips tasted like on mine…How great it felt to hold her close and the way her hands played with my hair, making me shiver.
For God’s sake Jack, get a grip…
I’m more than aware I shouldn’t be feeling those things, but how could I not after the little hint I experienced last night? It was only a hint, of all the good feelings we might experience together, because we had to leave soon, too soon, and all we had time to do until Daniel came to meet with us was put cold water on my bloodied lips - after two punches – and exchange a few "sorrys". And then we were gone.
Anyway, I have some things to tell her right now, so I should get moving and get to her lab instead of wandering around the corridors. Plus Fraiser said it wasn’t good for my leg to walk on it. I try to walk faster and take the elevator to stop to her floor. The doors open and I walk out, nodding at an airman along the way. Apparently he didn’t know we were back. I think he actually collided with the wall because he kept looking at me.
Finally there. I knock on the doorframe and poke my head inside and there’s Daniel’s girlfriend, Amalia, and Sam working on something. Working so hard they didn’t even notice me. I enter and lean on the table just in front of them. Carter finally notices me and she gives me a smile.
"Oh hi Colonel!" She says casually as she looks up.
"What are you guys doing?" I ask as I try to peak at what they’re playing with. Amalia smiles at me and tries her tongue at English. I’m glad that Daniel found a girl like her. She’s a very good person.
"We…ah…work on my project?" She says tentatively and Carter pats her arm encouragingly, her smile getting larger.
"What’s the project?" I try again.
"Well, we don’t know yet. We only know that those two chemicals put together can form a…"
"You can tell me when you know." I cut her off with a gesture of my hand and she grins cheekily. "Ah Carter? Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure…" She gets up and says a few French words to Amalia but it seems to be ok so Sam follows me into a more private room. Ok, so the commissary isn’t so private but people don’t listen to what others say there. Not that I mind Amalia but…anyway.
We sit facing each other at a table in a corner of the little room and Carter just looks up at me, frowning, waiting for me to talk.
"Ah…I just talked with Hammond."
She nods me on.
"He said that he was glad you found a new assistant and he hopes that Daniel will be happy with her. She does seem nice."
"She is!" She answers, knowing this is not what I wanted to talk about.
Oh what the hell!
"I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be watching the stars tonight, familiar ones, on my roof. And I was wondering if you wanted to join me. Just like we used to do back there. What do you say?" I finally manage to stammer.
She smiles, a bit embarrassed, I scarily notice, and she looks down at her joined hands on the table. But then she looks back up at me and I see it’s now a genuine smile that lights her face.
"I’d love to sir." She finally answers and I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
"Great! Come whenever you’re done with your…project!" I announce as I get up and grin, waving as I prepare myself to go home. She grins back and I feel her eyes on my back as I leave the room.
*****
I knock at the door and open it, observing Teal’c as he meditates. He sure looks peaceful, sometimes I wish I could be just like him. Strong and calm, and so loyal. He opens his eyes when he feels my presence and he smiles, bowing his head.
"Hey Teal’c! Am I interrupting anything?" I ask from the doorframe.
"You are not." He answers truthfully.
I walk more into the room and go sit in front of him.
"I just wanted to thank you for coming for us. It really meant something to me, and the others. I really appreciated it." I say sincerely.
"You are welcome O’Neill."
"I was just going home, wanna come with me? I still don’t know what happened to you for four months!" I say as I gently hit his shoulder.
"I cannot, but I will be happy to tell my story another time." He answers and I grin, accepting his need to be alone.
"I’ll see you tomorrow then!" I announce as I get up and leave.
I walk into Daniel when I turn the corner.
"Daniel?"
"Oh hi Jack! How’s the leg?"
"Fine…Where are you going like this?" I ask as I notice his excited expression and the papers in his hands. He looks like he was in a hurry.
"I was just going to see Amalia. I have kind of a surprise for her."
I frown and he goes on.
"Yeah, since we have a couple of weeks free, to get us completely back again, I’ve decided to take Amalia to France… You wanna come with us?"
"Ah…no. I’ve had enough French for two already…"
"Right. We’ll be better off without you anyway." He says as he grins and walks pass me. I make a hurt face and smile when he’s gone. The guy sure is in love. And so am I, I realize. My grin gets wider as I make my way to my car and then my house. It’s been a while since I’ve been there.
I unlock the door and walk in, looking around the place. It hasn’t changed a bit. I walk to the fridge and open the door, searching for something to eat. I’m not very hungry but I feel like I have to kill the time. I need to get my mind on something and stop anticipating the evening to come. I really don’t want to be disappointed and I really shouldn’t presume anything.
Thinking about it, I’m exhausted…I think I’ll get some sleep before Sam comes.
*****
I focus the telescope on a galaxy and observe it for a moment. It’s amazing to think that, maybe, just maybe, we visited one of those stars in our travels. The image blurs and I try to sharpen it when I hear footsteps climbing up the ladder. I smile to myself when the person steps on the roof and sighs.
"Hey Carter!" I say without glancing behind. She comes closer and I turn to look at her, bottles of beer in her hands.
"Isn’t stealing beers from your CO’s fridge against regulations Carter?" I ask, grinning cheekily.
She chuckles and then smiles, looking a bit embarrassed.
"Oh you betcha sir!" she finally says with that dashing smile of hers as she comes to sit beside me and hands me a beer. She opens hers and I can’t bring myself to stop looking at her.
"You know what our project turned out to be?" She continues without waiting for my answer. "Amalia found a weapon…I can’t believe it, I mean after all those years we’ve been trying to find something and General Hammond immediately gave her the definitive authorization to stay on Earth…Too bad we don’t have all the ingredients for the alchemy here, it could have been…" She stops when she notices I’m not really listening.
"What?" She asks as she takes a sip from her beer and smiles.
"It’s just that…You know that if I could reach up and hold a star for every time you smile, the whole evening sky would be in the palm of my hand…" I finally manage to say, and when I look into her eyes again, she looks…shocked, to say the least. She gulps and then seems to overcome the shock and smiles, looking down at her beer.
"Wow…Where did that come from sir?" She asks, still avoiding my gaze, and I realize I’ve said the wrong thing.
"I’m sorry…that was out of line, I just…" This time it’s my turn to be embarrassed, but she cuts me off before I can add anything.
"No sir, it wasn’t out of line…I’m sorry…I’m just surprised, that’s all…I didn’t think you were the romantic kind…" She adds as she chuckles nervously.
"To tell the truth, neither did I." I reply and she laughs, finally looking up at me.
"It was very nice sir, thank you." She admits, looking into my eyes. I so want to kiss her right now, kiss her like I did yesterday. And I so want her to return the kiss, return the kiss like she did yesterday. But it was yesterday…It was a different circumstance, a different place, different rules. I so wish it wasn’t, but I can’t do this to her. I look away from her eyes, down at the beer on my lap.
"Are you ok sir?" She asks worriedly.
"Yeah…well, no, not really."
"What’s wrong?" She asks as she places a gentle hand on my shoulder. I know she wants to comfort me right now, but she just makes things worse.
"Me." I finally answer, trying to forget the heat coming from her hand on my shoulder, making me shiver. She takes her hand away and gets up, leaning on the handrail and looking upwards. I think she understands what I mean, and I want to hope that maybe she might be feeling the same.
I get up and join her, putting my hands on the handrail and looking upwards too. She sniffs and I turn to look at her, just to be sure I’m not having hallucinations. But no, I think I can see a tear coming down her cheek and she wipes her nose with her hand.
"Hey…" I say gently as I turn her around by the shoulder and pull her into a comforting hug. She places her arms around my neck and pulls me closer, and I rock her, trying to comfort her, whatever is wrong.
She sniffs in my neck and I grin, caressing her head and giving her a soft kiss on her neck. I pull us apart and wipe the tears away with my thumbs, which makes her smile and then look down.
"I’m sorry sir…*That* was out of line…" She mumbles as she gets further away from my arms, my hands still holding her shoulders.
"It was far from being out of line Sam…But I’m afraid that what I have to say *will* be out of line." I take a deep breath and let my hands find hers. "First of all, please, call me Jack. Second…Sam I…I have no idea how to say this, so please, just let me finish…When we were on that planet, stuck together, you were everything to me. I couldn’t count on Daniel to bring us any more trouble, I couldn’t count on Teal’c to support me physically as well as morally. But you were there, I could count on you, and you supported me like no one else could have ever done. I want to thank you for that, and for keeping me in line when I lost hope, when I let you down. And I’m not talking about letting the team down, I’m talking about you."
Her expression passes from protesting to questioning, with a hint of embarrassment.
"Wow…" She smiles, "I was wrong, you *are* the romantic kind…" She says, and this time I can’t help myself. I lean in slowly and kiss her, I kiss her with all my heart and all the passion a man of my age can hold inside. But mostly I kiss her with all my love and now that I have admitted it at least to myself, I feel its effect even more powerfully than before. And from what I can tell, Major Samantha Carter feels the same. She pulls me closer and the kiss intensifies.
We pull apart only when the need for air becomes stronger than our need for each other and I place my hands on her neck and cheeks and she smiles.
"Sam…I have a question to ask you…"
She frowns but still keeps looking at me.
"How come you always beat me when we fought with the swords?"
She laughs and I guess she wasn’t expecting this kind of question, and I can’t help grinning myself.
"I just could predict your every move…" She replies mischievously, a twinkle in her eyes.
"Feminine instinct?" I smile at her.
"Yeah…Feminine instinct…which is telling me to do this…" She leans in and kisses me deeply and I guess that’s all we’re gonna say tonight…
The End
Story Notes: Email: amelieallard@hotmail.com
Status: Complete
Category: S/J friendship/romance/UST as well as Adventure (at least I tried to...)
Season/Sequel Info: whenever you want...But it has to be after season 3 :) Oh and this was written before I saw any of the season 4 eps, so I guess it’s prior to D&C
Spoilers: Tiny ones for CotG, Brief Candle and 100 Days
Warnings: maybe some language but nothing bad.
Archive: SJA and Heliopolis
Author’s notes: Ok…I went to France a couple of months ago (wave to Audrey!) and it kinda inspired me…well, not as much as the death threats I would have got if I didn’t bring back fic. J Anyway, so this is what I came up with! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Dedication: I have a few HUGE thanks to give: Dustdevil for betareading this for me! You’re great! And I have to tell you folks that it’s my fault that she didn’t post any fics lately… ;) Flo for the American point of view as well as great ideas! Ravital for supporting me and all the ego boosts J Thanks guys! You were great help!
Feedback: YES! please! I’m begging!
Status: Complete
Category: S/J friendship/romance/UST as well as Adventure (at least I tried to...)
Season/Sequel Info: whenever you want...But it has to be after season 3 :) Oh and this was written before I saw any of the season 4 eps, so I guess it’s prior to D&C
Spoilers: Tiny ones for CotG, Brief Candle and 100 Days
Warnings: maybe some language but nothing bad.
Archive: SJA and Heliopolis
Author’s notes: Ok…I went to France a couple of months ago (wave to Audrey!) and it kinda inspired me…well, not as much as the death threats I would have got if I didn’t bring back fic. J Anyway, so this is what I came up with! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Dedication: I have a few HUGE thanks to give: Dustdevil for betareading this for me! You’re great! And I have to tell you folks that it’s my fault that she didn’t post any fics lately… ;) Flo for the American point of view as well as great ideas! Ravital for supporting me and all the ego boosts J Thanks guys! You were great help!
Feedback: YES! please! I’m begging!
End Notes: So that’s it! I hope enjoyed it! If you did – or didn’t – don’t forget to tell me! PLEASE! Oh and by the way, I’d like to thank Raphaelle for letting me use her wonderful phrase " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand" and change it a bit, as well as Marie for making me read it in the first place! :J
Amélie
Amélie
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]