Sam Carter tried to ignore the little jab she felt in her chest, but it was
hard. The Colonel and his friend said goodbye. A voice inside her head tormented her.
Sam looked away, trying to keep her expression neutral, but she knew it hadn’t worked. Daniel was watching her carefully. She wasn’t going to enjoy his questions later.
SG-1 Gated home, and headed for debriefing. Feretti, Makepeace and company
are more than happy to see them, Jack in particular.
Sam noticed they were looking at her also.
But she knew the desperation that fuelled her while Jack was gone wouldn’t
have been the same. At the moment, though, she couldn’t even remember how she did it. She had a dizzy feeling that your body sends you just before it gives up trying to stay awake. . Suddenly, being over 20 floors below the surface set off a claustrophobia she had never experienced before. That, and the ache in her chest.
She realised with some alarm that she was not going to make it home. Seeing
the Colonel again, being close to him, had set off feelings she had buried for the last three months in an attempt to get him home. His cold brush off replayed itself in her mind. She had to get away. She turned to Teal’c, because she knew he wouldn’t ask questions.
"Teal’c, please apologise to General Hammond for me. I’m not going to the debriefing, I…" She choked on her words. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I don’t feel so well."
He merely nodded, as she knew he would. His expression was one of concern, but Sam was already headed for the elevator.
Away from her friends gaze, she walked calmly to her quarters. She brushed
past colleagues; sure they were looking at her with pity in their eyes. she thought irritably. . But she knew it would eventually.
She only had one goal. . Finally she came to her door, fumbled with the lock and stepped in quickly, as if something horrible had been following her. She allowed herself a tiny escape of emotion : slamming the door. She turned, leaning heavily against the door. Closing her eyes, she saw the scenes on Edora again. He was kissing Lara. He didn’t want to come home. She slid slowly down the door, coming to rest on the floor. Hot tears started to slide down her face as she hugged her knees.
Daniel had seen Sam speak quickly to Teal’c, before she headed away. Teal’c looked towards Daniel, concern clouding his eyes. Daniel nodded in unspoken agreement, letting Teal’c know he would check up on her after the debriefing. he thought, trying not to wince just from remembering.
He sat in his customary chair at the debriefing, while the General questioned Jack about the mission. Daniel added comments here and there, but his mind was still with Sam.. Finally, the debriefing ended. Daniel left the room quickly. Jack was surrounded by colleagues wishing him well and welcoming him back. Daniel ignored it all, and headed for the crew quarters.
He knocked on her door, but there was no answer. Hesitantly, he let himself in. She was sitting on her bed, face in her hands. He stopped, wondering if he should just leave her alone. Upon looking up she rushed towards him, enveloping him in a hug. Startled, he hugged her back as she sobbed into his chest.
"Come on Sam," he whispered. "It’s okay." His only answer is some more muffled sobs. Sighing, he merely stroked her hair. "It’s Jack, isn’t it?" He asked. Silence.
Sam pulled away from him, and sat down again shakily, wiping her face with her hands. He followed and sat down himself. Handing her a clean hankie, he waited while she tried to compose herself.
"How long, Sam?" he asked.
She looked up at her friend cautiously. She knew he meant.
"Since we were in the cave in Antarctica." She said, a small smile played at her lips, before it disappeared again.. "No, it wasn’t. It was the first time we met. I was shaking so much at that damn meeting, and it wasn’t because I was intimidated."
Daniel smiled encouragingly. He had heard about that meeting many times since. She remains silent. "Does he know?"
Startled, she met his eyes again. "No! No, and you can’t tell him Daniel."
He shook his head. "I won’t tell him Sam, if you don’t want me to."
She gave a shaky laugh, "I thought he might…well, it doesn’t matter now. I’m just going to pretend none of this happened." She fixed him with a glare "None of it, Daniel."
He traced the dark circles around her eyes with a gentle finger. he thought. "Get some sleep." He said to her. "Things always seem worse when you’re tired."
"I’ll try." She promised.
A heavy knock at the door startled them both. "Carter, you in there?" Jack’s voice came from outside the door. Sam’s eyes widened.
"Tell him I’m not here." She whispered harshly.
"He won’t believe me. Why would I be here if you’re not?"
Sam groaned softly. "Tell him I’m sleeping!" She climbed onto her bed, and faced away from the door.
Daniel knew he couldn’t let the Colonel see her like this. He thought it might give his friend something to think about if he saw how much he had hurt Sam, but…he had to respect Sam’s wishes.
Silently, as if trying not to wake her, Daniel slipped out the door. "What the hell are you doing in there, Danny?" Jack asked.
"Shh! Sam’s asleep!" Daniel whispered. He hoped he was believable.
"Damn, I wanted to talk to her." Jack said.
Daniel looked at his friend carefully. "I’d give her some time to cool down, Jack."
Jack looked at him strangely. "Why?"
. Daniel thought.
"Ah.. She’s just exhausted, you know how grouchy she gets." He gave what he hoped was a quick grin between colleagues, even though he felt like throttling this man in front of him.
Jack shook his head. "Fine, I’m heading off base. You coming to the bar?"
"Ah.. Yes. I’ll be over later. You go."
Jack grinned. It wasn’t a normal O’Neill grin, but it was close. He started back down the corridor, before turning to Daniel once again. "Listen…if you see Carter again, invite her, will ya?"
"I will, Jack."
Jack left. Daniel waited until he was truly gone before opening to door to Sam’s quarters once again. He could tell by her deep breathing this time she really was asleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As she had promised herself, Sam had a short nap, and then reaffirmed her resolution to pretend as if nothing unusual had happened. Her earlier crying jag had left her physically groggy and emotionally numb. But, the old Sam would go to the bar, and that’s where she was going. It was only 20:00; the others would be at the bar until the early hours of the morning.
"SAAAAM!" After everything that had happened today, Sam summoned a smile when her friends greeted her as she entered the bar. They were all there, Danny looking at her with a smile, but his eyes held a careful look, Makepeace was grinning, but even he seemed to sense something was not completely right, Teal’c bowed his head towards her in greeting, Janet raised her glass and offered a big smile. There were going to be talks later, Sam knew. As for the Colonel, well. Who knew? He looked happy to see her, but she had been wrong about gauging his expressions before
She was wearing jeans and a tight white top, with a black leather jacket. She knew she looked passable. They made room for her and she sat down, next to the Colonel. His leather jacket was hung over the back of his chair. He looked good, she thought ruefully. He had a tan, for a start. His white polo top only emphasised that.
The bar was fairly quiet, but with so many SGC personnel around the small table, Sam was fairly close to him. Their thighs were pressed together. Leaning in, she tried to look as if she were listening intently to the conversation Makepeace and Feretti were having, comparing Tomcats to Hornets or something.
Jack tried to get more space for them to be comfortable, but he only managed to jostle their thighs together again. He glanced at her and gave her a charming grin of apology. She managed a smile for him, then. She was beginning to think this had been an awfully bad idea. He was so close to her she could smell his aftershave. He never wore too much, of course. Just a tantalising scent here and there, but enough to make her chest ache. He’d obviously been home and showered. His hair was still slightly damp.
She thought sickly. She rose from her chair, her legs shaky. Ignoring questioning looks from the guys, she made her way to the women’s bathrooms. She checked her hair and makeup in front of the mirror, but it was only a pretence to get away from the group.
Janet Frasier entered then, giving Sam a level stare.
"What?" Sam asked, pretending she had mascara in her eye. It was better than looking at Janet. The woman knew too much. It wasn’t her fault, Sam had simply opened her mouth when she had been tired. It happened.
"Why are you acting so strangely?" her friend asked.
Sam threw her hands up in frustration. "I’m not!" she said. "I am exactly the same as I was three months ago. Why can’t anyone see that?"
Janet looked decidedly sympathetic. It made Sam more defensive.
"That’s exactly it, Sam. They’re waiting for you to rip the Colonel’s throat out." She winced. "Figuratively speaking, of course"
"B-but the old Sam wouldn’t do that." Sam stammered.
Janet took Sam’s hands. "Sam, the old Sam would let the Colonel know how she feels. This isn’t who you are. Don’t pretend nothing has happened, not for his sake anyway."
Sam sighed. Things had become increasingly difficult since the Colonel returned. Not that she would send him back, of course. "Janet, nothing *has* happened. I can’t say anything without letting him know he hurt me." She paused, trying to keep her voice steady, but the rush of hurt she’d felt on Edora came back again. Bringing her hand up, she shielded her eyes. "I don’t want him to know how much he hurt me. I think that would make it worse."
Her friend regarded her sympathetically. she thought. "Let’s just go back out and have some more to drink, so I can go home to my damn bed."
Raising her eyebrows, Janet followed her friend.
Janet returned to the table, but Sam went straight for the bar. She ordered a drink, and fished around in her wallet to find some money. "It’s on me." A voice said, next to her. Sam looked up to see the Colonel, casually leaning on the bar.
"No thankyou sir, I get paid pretty well." She said. She knew her voice was civil, professional, but not friendly.
"Dammit, Carter, why won’t you let me buy you a drink?"
Sighing, she snapped her wallet closed. "Fine. Thankyou for the drink, sir." Grabbing it, she moved to go back to the table, but he grasped her arm, hard enough to make her wince. Carefully she put her drink back on the bar. "Problem, sir?"
He studied her face carefully. He’s almost forgotten how beautiful she was. When he had been on Edora, her face had merged with Lara’s. He knew he had been doing them both a disservice, but he had been confused. Being ripped away from all you know, knowing your dreams of the future and you memories of the past were a million miles away on a lonely rock in space - it was unsettling, to say the least. Was it any wonder he was confused?
For the moment, however, the look on Sam’s face made him stop. He’d obviously hurt her somehow. He remembered he hadn’t thanked her for bringing him home. That was probably it.
"Thankyou, Sam. For bringing me back. I know you worked hard." He said.
Although she noted with anger that he hadn’t said "*home*", she forced herself to nod politely and returned to the table with her drink. It was not the last drink of the night for her, of that she was sure.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After two weeks on downtime, during which Sam secluded herself in her apartment generally indulging herself, she returned to the base. Her relationship with the Colonel was damaged even more by his actions over the next few weeks. When it finally came out that he had been acting under orders, Sam had already distanced herself from him more, and sadly, she wondered whether they would ever return to the team dynamic they had once enjoyed.
SG-1 were assigned a mission for that morning, and she headed to the briefing room to hear the particulars from General Hammond. "SG-1, your mission is an exploratory mission on PS-2457. uninhabited, evidence of previous life reported by the MALP. It’s a two day assignment, requiring you to stay overnight because of the distance between the ruins and the Stargate." He paused. "I ask you now, SG-1: are you up to it?"
They all nodded in assent, "Yes sir!"
Dressing herself in her fatigues and bulky SG-1 jacket, Sam looked at herself in the mirror. While her hurt had slowly faded to an aching sadness in her chest, her feelings for the Colonel had not abated. Her fatigues were comfortable as usual, but today she felt bulky and unfeminine. She knew it was partly her depression, but she couldn’t help looking at herself in the mirror. It was no wonder the Colonel never saw her as anything but a fellow soldier, she thought sadly. Sighing, telling herself it didn’t matter anyway, she grabbed her gear and left for the Gateroom.
They stepped through into a beautiful sunny day.
"This way, campers." Jack said, motioning them to follow him.
They hiked through the forest, heading slowly towards the reported ruins. They didn’t speak much, only the necessities, but Sam was aware of the Colonel behind her. She had not completely recovered from her exhaustion, finding it difficult to sleep with thoughts of Jack and that other woman in her mind. They stopped to rest after awhile. Sam sat down on a rock, hoping to be rid off the dizziness she was feeling.
"You ok, Carter?" Jack asked.
"Yes *sir*" she snapped, angry at his concern, however casual it was. He merely shrugged.
They continued towards the ruins, Sam stumbling slightly over a fallen log. She ignored Jack’s offered hand. He looked exasperated, but managed to hold his temper. They came to the crest of a large hill and caught their first glimpse of the city. Sam gasped. It was unlike anything she had ever seen. Although the buildings were in disrepair and grass had long since invaded the city; growing up through walls and cracks, the centre of the city remained strangely untouched.
"It is unusual." Teal’C stated.
The others merely stared at the ancient remains. Jack was lost for a sarcastic retort, silenced by the sight in front of him. Daniel was the first to start down the hill, followed by Teal’c and then Sam. Jack remained on the crest for a moment, eyes following Sam. He knew he had been rude to her on Edora, but he didn’t think it warranted the silent treatment for this long. He knew she was pissed at him for the way he had acted recently, but he had been following orders then. He’d tried to let her know without saying, tried to return to the dynamic they had once possessed where they could read each others thoughts merely by looking, but she had been strangely unresponsive. He wondered if she was having troubles with another guy or something. Truly bewildered, he shook his head and followed his team.
Precisely in the centre of the city stood a tall archway. Daniel studied ancient writings on the side of it, while Teal’c stood guard against what they didn’t know, but they all agreed that this place made them jumpy. It was enough.
Sam stood directly in front of it, and was puzzled by the way light reflected through it. She couldn’t understand the phenomena; and stepped forward into the doorway, expecting to turn back and see the other side.
Jack turned and noticed the doorway was flickering and Sam was stepping closer.
"Carter!" he warned, but it was too late.
Sam had stepped through the doorway and disappeared.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Opening her eyes, Sam stared out the window in wonder. Beneath her, the Earth shone in all its radiance. The beauty of her home world was extraordinary.
"Commander Carter, everything’s going fine. Atlantis will be docking with us sometime tomorrow."
"Thanks Gary. Get some sleep, okay?" The younger man nodded and headed off to his sleeping compartment, the lack of gravity helping rather than hindering him.
Sam returned to her vigil over the Earth. There were a lot of things she could be doing, realigning instruments, checking paperwork, working on one of her many in-flight experiments, but at the moment she was just content to sit and watch as the Earth turned slowly beneath her.
She frowned in puzzlement. Was this the way it was supposed to be? A small, air-tight capsule and a confining, uncomfortable spacesuit? It would take days to get to the moon. She had a slight memory of travelling the galaxy without any of this confining equipment. Surely it had been a dream? It hadn’t been as easy as stepping through a….a what?
Sam saw the golden archway appearing. It flickered and was transparent, but she knew it was there, and it would take her away from all this. Sam looked at the archway, and glanced back down at Earth. Did she really want to leave? This had been her dream for as long as she could remember. Her father would be so proud, she had finally made it into the space program. Better than that, she was overseeing the international space station. This was what she had always wanted. But something was missing. Someone…on the edge of her memory, there was a face... Sadly, Sam knew this wasn’t right. She didn’t belong, no matter how hard she tried to believe.
"I’m sorry Dad." She whispered. Tears fell down her cheeks, but she knew she had to leave. Without looking back she stepped through the archway.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jack ran towards the archway that Sam had just disappeared into. He meant to leap right in after her.
"No!" Daniel yelled, and attempted to stop him. "Jack, you can’t!"
Teal’c had considerably more success than Daniel and stopped his C.O just before he went through. "You have no idea what you would face, O’Neill." Teal’c said. Jack glared at both of them, and at the innocent-looking doorway also. He sat down hard, on the ground. He felt like the air had been knocked out of him. What the hell were they going to do?
.. "I’ve translated part of the writings here, Jack." Daniel said, sometime later.
"Tell me." Jack ordered, eyes intent on Danny even as his hands fidgeted. God, he hated inaction.
"Well, it’s kind of obscure..."
"Daniel…" Jack’s voiced was becoming dangerously soft.
"Uh…it says, "Beware all who enter. A sound mind will return, a soft heart will not."
Jack looked at him in disbelief. "That’s IT?"
"Well, I haven’t finished translating, but I told you it was obscure. It’s a form of Celtic-"
"Daniel…" There was that voice again. Shaking his head, Daniel decided it would not be wise to finish his explanation. At least he knew Jack wasn’t completely heartless when it came to Sam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sam opened her eyes, and quickly closed them again. She was dreaming, that must be it. The scene that stood before her simply couldn’t exist. She was sitting in the living room of her old house; the house she had grown up in. Her mother was here, sitting next to Jacob, her father. Sam looked down and gasped. In her arms she held a tiny baby, with eyes like her own. Her certainty that something was wrong fading, Sam started to feel contented. This what was she had dreamed of, a baby, a family, the things that she had left to "someday" had suddenly concreted themselves into "now".
And it was perfect. Her mother was here, bustling around making coffee and handing out cookies. Her father was beaming like a proud Grandpa and the house was the same as she had remembered it.
"She looks just like you, love." A soft voice said from beside her.
Looking up with a smile on her face, Sam turned to the man she loved. "Jonas," she said wonderingly. "She has your nose."
He smiled at her, but there was something in that smile that worried her. Something was wrong here. She couldn’t remember exactly what, but something was terribly wrong. She looked up, past her mother and her father and saw a golden archway had appeared on the edge of the room. It called to her, and she knew she had to make a choice. Sadly, she handed the baby over to Jonas, and stood up.
"Sam, where are you going?" he asked her, worried.
"I don’t belong here." She said tearfully. "Dad, I know you understand. Mom," Her voice caught, her heart felt like it was breaking. "Mom, I’m sorry. I love you, but this is wrong." She looked back to Jonas and their baby. She shook her head. "I have to go."
Without looking back, she stepped through the golden archway.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Dammit, Daniel!"
"I’m sorry Jack, but if what this says it true, we just have to wait. Anyone else entering will shatter the illusion, and she’ll die or lose her mind. If she passes the…the test, she’ll come out."
"And if she fails?" There was that dangerous tone in Jack’s voice again.
"O’Neill, have you ever known Major Carter to fail at anything before?" Quiet words of assurance came from Teal’c.
Jack glanced at his friend. "I hope you’re right Tea’c." Jack said with a worried sigh. "God, I hope you’re right."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sam rolled over in her bed. The doona was nice and comfortable, even covering only her legs. The room was nice and warm, so it really didn’t matter. Opening her eyes, she came face to face with Jack O’Neill, her lover. "Morning gorgeous." He said, that trademark grin on his face.
For one moment, it was clear to Sam that she shouldn’t be here like this, and her mind screamed, Then a feeling of contentment began to seep into her bones. This was right. Of course it was right. This was the way things were supposed to be.
Jack snuggled in closer, bringing her head to rest on his strong chest. She could hear his heart beating beneath her ear, and she smiled. His hand came down to rest on her stomach, tenderly, and Sam jumped when she felt a movement beneath his hand. Of course, she was having Jack’s child. Why should that alarm her? She was five months pregnant. Plenty of time to get used to the idea!
She turned and kissed him gently on the lips. For some strange reason it felt like it was the first time. He stroked her hair and she cupped his face with her hands. Her heart was so full she could cry. She finally had everything she wanted, Jack, and his baby. Jack loved her….Jack loved her?
"I love you so much." Jack whispered into her ear, and she smiled once more.
"I love you too." She replied, but his words tweaked something in her memory. Jack loved her?
Looking up, she saw the golden archway in the room, and her heart started to break. "Oh no." she said.
Jack, attentive as ever said, "What? Is it the baby?" Worry shone in his eyes.
"No," Sam replied looking over his head at the archway. She clenched her eyes shut, and thought, . She opened her eyes again, and saw the archway, so transparent this time that it was almost not there. It started to flicker. she thought sickly.
The concerned look in Jacks eyes turned to fear. "What is it Sammy?" he asked. "Are you alright?" His concern sliced her, but she untangled herself and slowly stood up. Hot tears fell on her cheeks.
"I’m sorry Jack." She sobbed. "I can’t stay."
"What?" he smiled like he thought she was kidding. "Where are you going to go?"
"I don’t belong here…the real Jack is waiting for me, and he’s probably worried."
"What do you mean you don’t belong here? Of course you do, you belong here, with me and our baby." He stepped forward to embrace her once more, but she couldn’t let him.
"Jack, you don’t love me like this in my world." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "That’s why I know I don’t belong here." She was through the archway before he could say anything more, and convince her to stay, trapped in her dream.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Something’s happening!" Daniel called, and they backed away from the archway as it began to light up. The doorway became cloudy and rippled like the event horizon of the Stargate. A figure stepped out, and dropped straight onto her knees.
The three men stood in shock for a moment.
"Carter?" Jack called. Sam looked up and spotted Jack. The pain in her eyes
was so intense he stepped back. She buried her head in her hands once more. She made no sound, but her shoulders shook with sobs.
Hesitantly, Jack stepped forward. "Sam?" he asked again.
There was no reply, so he did the only thing he could think of; he comforted her. Silently, he knelt down and pulled her hands away from her face, and pulled her into a hug. To his surprise, she cried into his chest.
"Sam…" he whispered. "What did they do to you?"
"I had to leave.." she whispered, tearfully. She looked up at him. "I had to leave you…."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In the infirmary, Jack cast a worried glance at Sam Carter. She was curled up in the bed, and fast asleep. Occasionally, a tear slipped out and ran down her cheek. Doctor Frasier approached Jack, and pulled him out into the hall.
"What the hell happened to her, Doc?" he asked, casting worried glances into the room where she lay.
Fraiser looked uncomfortable. "The little she told me, Colonel, was private."
"But…" Jack stopped and bit his lip. "Damn, Janet, it sounded like she had her heart ripped out."
Janet’s eyes softened. So the Colonel did have some feeling left where Sam was concerned.
"I’d call it emotional torture, Colonel. I’m going to release her when she wakes up, I can’t keep her here, there’s nothing physically wrong with her. But…she might need someone to talk to later."
Jack frowned. "I’ll get Danny to-"
"Not Daniel, Jack."
He met the Doctors eyes and sighed, "Ok, but I still think you have the wrong person if you expect me to go and cheer her up…"
Janet shook her head. "Don’t try to cheer her up. Just listen." With that, she turned and walked away. Jack gave the sleeping Sam one more glance before turning on his heel and walking away.
Nervous, Jack grabbed the still-hot pizza and walked quickly up the path to Sam’s house. He knocked on the door and waited. Nervously.
The door opened, and Jack offered Sam his most charming grin. "Pizza?" he asked.
Without a word, she let him in. He closed the door behind him and followed her into the living room. They sat down together in silence. Jack opened the pizza box, and took a piece out. Sam nibbled at her piece thoughtfully. After a while, she said, "Janet told you to come."
Jack looked uncomfortable. "She didn’t *tell* me to come, but she said you might need someone to talk to about.. what happened to you."
At the mention of her ordeal, Sam looked away. Panicking, thinking he had upset her, Jack put the food down and moved to sit next to her. She also put the pizza down, but was unable to look at him.
"What happened Sam? You can trust me."
She looked up at him finally, and he could see tears threatening again, but she kept them under control. "Can I trust you, Jack?" she whispered. "After everything?" She sighed. She’d learnt a valuable lesson in the archway. She had to confront what had happened, she couldn’t ignore it any longer. She’d had the strength to come back to *her* Jack, even when she could have stayed in a dream-like existence with him as her lover.
She had to have the strength to tell him what had happened, how he had hurt her. She owed him that. What ever happened, at least he’d know. Maybe then they could move on and get back what SG-1 had lost, the companionship and team dynamic. Tearfully, she told him about her first experience through the archway, how her dream of going into space had been realised.
"It seemed so real." She said. This scenario had been painful, but not half as painful as what had presented itself to her later.
"At first it seemed right." She said, fiddling with another piece of pizza, intent on the topping while speaking. "Then, I began to realise it was wrong, that I shouldn’t be there. I didn’t belong." She sighed again. "The gateway appeared and I had to make the decision to leave."
Jack looked at her. It had been a hard decision, he gathered from her expression. "The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and I was holding a baby. My Mom was there and my Dad….It was my baby. I had a baby." she whispered, closing her eyes to the tears. "Everything was perfect, Jack, until I looked up to the father. It was Jonas. It was him that made me realise something was wrong, that I didn’t belong." She drew a deep breath, and continued painfully, "So I handed the baby to Jonas, said goodbye to my Mom, and left."
Jack covered his eyes with his hand. No wonder she had been so shook up. If he had stepped through.…would he have stayed with Charlie rather than coming home to a place where his son no longer existed?
"Then," she smiled a watery smile. "Then I opened my eyes, rolled over and I was in bed….with you." Jack’s head snapped up, and his gave became riveted on her.
She knew she was going to cry again if she remembered all this.
"We were lovers….I was having your baby." She knew she should be embarrassed, telling him all this, but it was still etched too clearly in her head. "You said you loved me, and I realised…" Angrily wiping her tears away she continued, "I realised I didn’t belong there, because….because you don’t love me in my world."
There, she’d said it. Now was the easier part. "So, I had to leave, even though….even though…."
"Even though you wanted to stay?" he whispered.
She nodded and turned away. She’s cried too much lately, and she hated herself for it. She’d let him see her vulnerable, and although he was her friend, she didn’t want him to know how vulnerable she was when it came to him.
He was silent, and she wondered what on Earth he was going to do. Any moment she expected him to get up and leave. Instead, she felt a gentle brush on her arm and she turned around. He pulled her close, and wiped her tears away gently.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" he asked softly.
"Before or after you slept with that woman on Edora?" she asked harshly, trying to pull away.
He winced at that. Then he said, "I am sorry for that Sam. I had no idea I’d ever be able to get back to you. But the feelings I have for you…they were there long before I went to Edora."
Sam’s eyes opened and she met eyes with him, hoping to see he was telling the truth. "Then…why?"
"She was the closest thing I had to you. I didn’t think I’d ever get back home…"
"You should have known I’d find a way to get you back." Sam said coldly.
"I know….and I’m sorry."
There was a long silence before Sam sighed and said, "Jack, I forgave you a long time ago for that. I just want to forget everything that happened. I want SG-1 to be back to how we were; a family."
"Do you want to forget everything?" he asked, leaning in closer, until their noses almost touched.
"Jack…" she warned. If he continued on this path, they both knew there’d be no turning back.
He leaned in and kissed her, gently at first, then hungrily. He broke the kiss, leaned back looked into her eyes, "Ok, Sam?"
"I am now." She whispered, before leaning in to kiss him once more.
There would be many obstacles, many choices to make in the future, but Sam knew that this time they would be making them together.
END
Story Notes: SPOILERS: 100 Days What? I had to have my take on it. :> Also a few for Shades Of Grey.
THANKS: To Viv! She sent me the tape of this ep, or I would still be waiting to see it. Thanks Viv!
NOTES: I also borrowed an eency concept off Robert Jordan. * Bows * Forgive me, great one.
THANKS: To Viv! She sent me the tape of this ep, or I would still be waiting to see it. Thanks Viv!
NOTES: I also borrowed an eency concept off Robert Jordan. * Bows * Forgive me, great one.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]