I'm not the smartest man in the world, gawd knows that. So does anyone who's been at the SGC for longer than ten minutes. So when Daniel started this crap years ago about alternative worlds and realities and hairstyles I figured it was just another one of his "moments", as I've taken to calling them.
Of course, then the little jerk went and proved it all real, right down to so many Carters that I was literally up to my eyeballs in blondes faster than if I'd shown up at the local bar with a full wallet and no morals. Not that I haven't been there in my younger days, but there's only so much my poor knees can stand.
So here I am, sitting in front of my lake with fishing pole in hand and all I can think about is how many Carters are getting it on with how many O'Neills in how many realities and DAMN IT, IT'S NOT THIS ONE!
Oh, I know that somewhere else in some slipsided world there's a Jack sitting there wondering what the heck he's supposed to see in this woman and probably driving stick for all I know, but I'm in this one and I've got to live in this one and it's JUST NOT FAIR!
Damn fish.
The one thing that seems to be a constant in all these alternative whatevers is that I'm in the military and Carter's a civilian. Making it possible for them to get together without breaking any regs or making any problems other than the fact that they're doomed to die most times when the Goa'uld do that major attack on Earth. One which we've prevented in this timeline and I've wondered more than once if the fact that Carter was there and in SG-1 is what made the difference.
My head hurts.
Maybe cosmically it's always supposed to be this way. If we get together in whatever reality exists at that time, it'll always lead to the Earth's destruction. If we don't and Carter goes into the military and ends up on my team it all goes good for us in a general sense.
Just not in a personal sense.
I need more beer.
So if Carter quit now, would it change the future? I mean, would her becoming a civvie now mean that we still lose?
Or maybe I should be the one who steps down. Done it before. Oh, look - three beers left. Time for another run to the store.
I wonder if the other O'Neills enjoy their trucks as much as I do. Love getting away from the Mountain and away from it all if only for a few days or hours or minutes, sitting on the dock of a lake that probably has as many fish as successful alternative whatevers where Carter and I get together.
Ben's the owner of the local store where I always get supplies. I used to think about what happens to him in some of those other worlds; whether he ever gets to retire with his high-school sweetheart to Florida like he always keeps talking about. I stopped trying to do that awhile ago - it only gives me a headache. Besides, it creeps me out.
"Another six." He places the pack on the top of his counter with a bit of a warning smile, reminding me that I shouldn't push my luck with the local cops. Not that a DUI wouldn't be easy to work my way out of, but I shouldn't have to. "Planning a party?"
"Oh, sure. Me, myself and I."
He takes my money and nods as I head back to my truck, wondering exactly how many beers I need to drink before this alternative stuff makes sense. And how many I need to drink before I can stop thinking about the other O'Neill and the other Carter.
I'm not stupid enough to think that I'd be able to retire anytime soon. Hell, that's if they'd even let me. Or Carter. I'm willing to bet that within ten minutes of walking out that door I'd be snatched up by some secret government group who wouldn't want me wandering around with all this knowledge in my head. They get nervous enough with reg Air Force retirees; they'd be freaking over me.
And that whole duty thing. It may be oldfashioned, but it's still there - until the Goa'uld are totally defeated, there's no way I'm walking out. I'm in for the long run.
Sad thing is; I'm sure Carter thinks the same way.
So here I am, driving back up that dusty dirt road to my cabin and I still can't figure out why The Powers That Be are so insistent on making US pay for some karmic transgressions.
Wow. I must be drunk. Or reading too many of those books.
And, to make my day totally complete, there's a rental car sitting in front of the cabin. Probably a retrieval team sent by Hammond to bring me back so I can save the world. Again.
Believe it or not, it gets damned boring after awhile.
Grabbing the beer I head inside, figuring that if I'm lucky, really lucky I can get one more drunk on the way to the SGC.
Except it's not a bunch of AF gofers. It's my own 2IC sitting on my couch with one of the remaining three beers from the fridge opened and half gone and she's out of uniform; wearing an oversized T-shirt and tight jeans and my grip loosens just that much on my sixpack.
"Carter." I was always the smooth talker.
"Colonel." She takes another deep swallow of the beer, her lips encircling the top of the bottle and my mind's eye goes hogwild with that image in a thousand whatevers. I know almost instinctively that in another reality that Jack has just tossed her down on the floor and started ravishing her, probably right after he retired. Or she did.
It's So Not Fair.
Sitting down on the couch beside her I free one of the new bottles from the bag, snapping the cap off. "So."
"So."
For two people who've saved the world more than a few times, we're pretty lousy communicators.
"Catch anything today?"
"Not yet." I stare at the carpet, focusing in on that one spot that is so threadbare that you can see the hardwood floor already. "You didn't just retire, did you?"
Her head snaps sideways with a sonic boom. "Did you?"
"Nope." I cradle the beer in both hands. "Not planning to, at least not yet."
"Oh."
I finish half the bottle in another gulp, wondering if I'm slipping into one of those alternative worlds just by thinking hard. "I was thinking about those other realities."
"Really." I don't have to look at her to know she's smiling; I can hear it in her voice. "And what have you discovered?"
"Well." The rest of the beer disappeared. "I figure that in any reality where the O'Neill and Carter are together the Earth gets destroyed. As long as they stay apart, it seems to save civilization or something like that."
"Wow." She leans over me to reach into the bag and get another warm beer, resting on my lap just enough to remind me that under all the fatigues and camo paint and science reports that Samantha Carter is most definitely a Woman. "That's a pretty interesting hypothesis."
"Thank you." It's the only thing I can think of, wheezing like a sixteen-year old boy on his first date.
"Except of course." A bottle cap flies across the room, landing not far from the unlit fireplace. "That it's based on very little evidence."
"Ah." I know I used to be smart, really. "I'm just going by the situations we've dealt with."
"Where I'm a civilian?"
"Where your other selves are." I correct her gently, putting the empty bottle back into the bag.
"Ah." She says, doing that thing again with the bottle. I hope she doesn't look at me too closely or I'm going to be so busted. My fishing jeans may be ripped and torn and worn, but not THAT loose.
"You remember that thing that we said we'd leave in the room and never talk about?"
I nod.
"I think we're talking about that now, aren't we?"
I shrug.
She takes another swallow of beer. "I think it's very possible that we're talking too much."
"And thinking?"
"And thinking way too much." Turning towards me she smiles again, blinding me with her inscrutable logic.
"Ah."
"I think." Carter chooses her words slowly and carefully, taking a sip between words. "I think that we can't let alternative realities choose how we live our lives here and now in this reality."
Beautiful and smart. Of course, so am I.
Not.
"So if we got together in this reality you don't think we'd be condemning ourselves to a rapid death and destuction of mankind?" A mouthful at any time, but with a few beers in me. a commencement speech.
We both kept staring straight ahead, having a conversation with the fireplace. I'm such a coward at times.
"I think." She starts again, then suddenly stops, turning to face me directly. "I think that if Samantha Carter is in love with Jack O'Neill and vice versa then no matter what reality it's going to happen that they end up together." Her eyes break away and go back to the fireplace as she slumps lower in the cushions.
I can't breathe.
I'm not sure if I want to.
"But as long as we're both in the military." I start the usual spiel, having memorized it long ago.
"As long." She gestures to the bag. "Please hand me another beer."
I pass it over. "But that won't be forever, will it? At least until the Goa'uld are defeated." I slosh the dregs of beer around in the near-empty bottle.
"And then?" Her voice holds just a trace of a tremble, jabbing me in the heart.
"Then." I took a deep breath. "You better be taking multivitamins, Carter. Because I'm going to ravish and seduce you in every possible way, on every piece of furniture, for hours and hours in this very cabin."
I can't look at her but I can feel the heat from here, scorching my right side where she's touching me. For a long minute I think I've really blown it this time; really pushed it too far and she's going to walk out of here and lay charges or request a transfer or tell Jacob or.
Leaning sideways, she clinks the beer bottle against mine.
"It's a date, then. When the Goa'uld are defeated." She's still staring at the wall, but with a grin that would eat up a hundred bowls of Jello and have room for more. "Although I should point out that you, being older than me, should also be stocking up on the vitamins. Stamina and all." An uncharacteristic giggle. "Janet can always start a Viagra stash for you."
"Oh, really?" I reach down and grab two more bottles, snapping the tops off and passing one to her as she relinquishes her empty bottle.
"Statistically speaking."
"I got your statistics right here, Carter."
-----------------------------the end----------------------------------
Story Notes: Email: xfdragon@zoominternet.net
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Spoilers: Read the title - then think about what eps have referred to THIS.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Spoilers: Read the title - then think about what eps have referred to THIS.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]