Date: July 28th.
I sit back in the chair contemplating the days earlier events. I still don't believe what's happened. Everything has happened so fast. One minute I'd been in my quarters, catching up on some work, then the red alert had sounded. I'd run to the gate room but I'd been too late. It was too late, it was all over. One of my best friends has been taken, never to return again. I never had the chance to say goodbye and now it is too late, they're gone.
Glancing up I see Teal'c enter the room with three drinks on the tray. Teal'c had been taking the events as he took everything. He was calm, seemingly undisturbed, but I know the truth. His friends know that he is just as upset at our friends passing as we are, he just hid it. He stands by his friends as a pillar of strength but he is hurting too. The four of us have become so close since working on SG-1 and now one of us has gone. None of us can believe it.
Teal'c passes me my drink and I attempt a smile to reassure him. I know it fails. The look he sends me is one of understanding.
"I thought it was custom to have a wake after a death, a celebration of the deceased's life?"
"Yeah, Teal'c, we are. I'm not in the mood for big crowds though." I explain to him.
He nods. He's still confused, Earth is confusing and my friend's death has confused me even more.
I sip my drink. "How's she holding up?" I ask.
"She is not taking it well."
Before I can say anything the door opens and Sam walks in. She's smiling but it's worse than the one I gave Teal'c.
"Sam..."
She cuts me off. "I'm fine."
"No you're not." I whisper standing up in front of her.
Her lips begin to quiver and tears begin to well up in her eyes. Feeling powerless to help her, to comfort her, I give the only comfort I can. I envelope her in my arms and bring her into a hug. Being slightly taller than her, I tilt my head back and rest my chin on her head. Stroking her back, I shush her as she begins to sob into my shirt.
I feel so utterly useless. I can't help my friend in her time of need. She's always been the cool headed one. Never letting her feelings control her, always falling back on her military training to strengthen her. For one of the first times ever she seems vulnerable to me. It all seems unreal. Her vulnerability, my friend's absence from our get together.
I pull away and tilt her face so I can see her face clearly. Her eyes are big and red, her cheeks tear stained. I don't know what hurts most - her being in pain or the death of my best friend. She smiles and moves away from me, sitting down on the sofa. I resume my original seat on the chair and we sit in silence for a long time.
Eventually Teal'c speaks. "I can not believe he is gone."
"None of us can, Teal'c." I whisper.
"I keep imagining he's going to walk through the door." Sam says not taking her eyes from the drink in her hands.
"Yeah," I chuckle slightly, "With one of his usual comments. They always annoyed me."
"I believe they annoyed most people." Teal'c admits.
"Didn't me." Sam says. She always did smile or laugh at his comments. Sure others smiled too, but not the same kind of smile. Sam's was always a genuine, big smile. He made her happy but he never realised it. I don't think she realised it either.
I change the subject slightly. "Remember when that noise affected us and we argued? Even though we were so different, he still respected my beliefs or he did eventually anyway."
"He did from the beginning." Sam says hotly as if I'm destroying his name. "He respected us both from the beginning, he just didn't want to let us get too close."
"I didn't mean..."
She nods. "I know. Did he ever tell you about our first meeting?"
I shake my head and she proceeds in telling me. She smiles as she reminisces and it's a proper smile. "I was afraid he would forever see me as the female, the weakest member of the team but he didn't."
"No you had me to fill that role." I say. "Although he did use your femininity to our advantage."
"When?"
"When we were taken back to 1969. You were the one who had to be the hitch hiker."
"It did not work though." Teal'c said.
"I wish I could use the gate to travel back." Sam says solemnly. I can see her face sadden. "The first time I went through the gate I told him he'd really get to like me and he replied that he adored me already. I didn't realise he meant it."
"What do you mean, Sam?" I ask knowing what she means but I want her to admit what onlookers have known for years.
"As he... As he, uh, died he, uh... He told me he loved me, that he always had and always would. He died before I got to apologise or tell him how I felt."
"Sam, he knew. We all did."
"It doesn't change anything. He said he loved me and I just sat there cradling his head, saying nothing as he died. And it's all my fault."
I sat forward about to cross the short distance to hold my friend but she gets up and walks to the window.
"It is not your fault." Teal'c offers, a surprising gentleness to his voice.
"Yes it is. He died saving my life. He died admitting how he felt and I said nothing. It's my fault he died and it's my fault he never knew that I loved him too." She walked to the door.
"Sam?" I say.
"I need to be alone, Daniel, please give me that."
I nod and she leaves the room. I can see her falling deeper into a pit of depression. She watched him die as he confessed his love. It's been two days since his death and she never told us that. I thought I felt bad for not being there when it happened, imagine being her. If only there was something I could do, but there wasn't. His death was in the past, it may still be affecting the present, and the future for a long time to come, but the event was in the past. There was no way of changing that.
As I try to sleep in the spare room all I can hear is her quiet sobbing and I lie here wishing there was something I could do to help her. I wish I could resurrect Jack, bring him back from the dead, prevent his death from ever occurring. Maybe I could. There was a way, but how to do it? I can't tell Sam, I can't tell anyone but I'll find a way of doing it. I'll bring Jack back, if it's the last thing I do.
*****
31st July
It's been three days since the funeral, five since the actual accident and I haven't seen Sam for three days. General Hammond has given us some down time to recover I just don't know how long we'll need. I've tried to see Sam but she won't open the door or answer the phone I don't even know if she's okay in her house all alone.
In the rest of my spare time I've been researching solar flares. Astrophysics really is not my field. I feel like Sam did when Hathor tried to take over the base. Why did I have to bring her up? Anyway, I can spot a flare as soon as it happens but it's not enough time. I need a flare on the correct side of the sun to send me back as opposed to forward. I need to find a way of going back to the exact right time. So far I have ten flares from the past three days that could do it. They're all in the past though. What I need is a way of going back in time, any time, and giving my younger self this information.
I just came up with a plan. Okay, step one: Go back and give myself all of the information I've gathered.
Hang on, how will I get back?
Theoretically I don't need to. I mean if I change the past so Jack doesn't die, I'll never go back in time so I won't be stuck in whatever time frame I travel to. Continuing with theoretics though, if I never go back in time, Jack will still die, if Jack dies then I will go back in time preventing his death... I'm confused. If I go back I'll save him but then won't go back and... I give up. I don't care what happens as long as it works.
There is one problem though, how to get through the gate at this end without arousing suspicion and to emerge at the other end without being arrested?
They're tough ones. I'll have to think about them.
There's a knock at the door. I turn and see Janet stood in the doorway.
"What are you doing?" She asks. "It's your down time and you've spent all of it in this lab, what's going on?"
I attempt to lie but she catches me out so I tell her the truth. She might be able to help. "Is there anyway you can help me?"
"Let me get this straight, you need me to help you get through the gate undetected so that you can travel back to an unknown time to help your younger self travel back to stop the Colonel dying. Did I miss anything out?"
"Nope!"
"What about the time you get to? They could easily arrest you."
"The chance I'm willing to take. I'm going to do this, Janet, with or without your help. It would be easier with though."
She sighs in exasperation. "Fine. I'll risk my career and your life, if that's what you want?"
I smile triumphantly. This is going to work. I hope.
*****
Date: August 11th
I stand in the control room, alone. The others have been ordered to the infirmary. The entire base is empty. Everyone's waiting outside the infirmary to be tested for a highly contagious, dangerous, life threatening, never before heard of, non-existent disease.
Janet's given me her codes so I can activate the gate, the only problem is the technicians locked down the iris and to open it I need two ranking officers, hopefully Janet counts as one. I still need the other.
On the plus side, I have the co-ordinates ready, they will bring me into contact with any solar flares during the thirty-odd minutes the gate is open. I would have liked more time to prepare for this mission, but time is the one thing I don't have. Yet. Over the past two days there has been a great deal of solar activity I have to take my chance now, or...
"Daniel! What are you doing here?"
I turn and see Sam. It's the first time I've seen her in two weeks. The first time I know of that she's left her house. SG-1 were brought back a week ago but Sam hadn't showed up.
"I'm, uh, uh. Well,"
"Shouldn't you be in the infirmary getting checked out?"
Suddenly it hits me. "You're a ranking officer, right?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Open the iris for me. Please."
"I can't do that!"
"But you just said..."
"Fine, I won't do that. Why do you want the iris open?"
"I have to go through the gate and it's pretty hard with the iris closed."
"Why are you so desperate to got through the gate?" She asks stepping closer to me.
"I can't tell you. All I can say is that I need to go through and I need your help. If you trust me, you'll help me."
"If I help you I'll be as good as ending my career."
"You did that a week ago when you failed to turn up for duty."
"I don't see the point in it anymore. I don't see the point in anything anymore."
"Help me, then."
She nods and taps her code into the computer. "I'll dial you up. Go down to the gate room."
"Thanks."
"Don't thank me yet. I have no idea how you're going to explain this to the General."
"I don't intend on coming back."
"What? You can't be serious. How can you just leave me like this. Come on, Daniel, I've just lost Jack and now you. I've got no-one left and you don't care."
I grab her by the arms. "Yes, I do care. It's because I care that I'm doing this. Please, don't make me feel guilty for trying to help you."
My device beeps. "What's that?" She asks.
"Something that tells me it's time for me to go." I explain running off. In fact, it is linked up to a computer that is constantly scanning for solar flares. When the computer recognises one forming on the correct side of the sun it alerts me to it. If I can just get to the gate in time.
Running into the gate room, the device is still beeping. I leap head first though the now activated gate thinking I can still hear the beep. I hope I can.
*****
Date: Unknown
I land in a heap on the ramp. On the ramp! I look up. Man, my head hurts. The things I suffer for my friends. The only comfort I get is the knowledge that Jack would be doing this for me if needs be. I'm in the gate room. It's empty, not a soul in sight. I know there are cameras though, videoing my uninvited entrance.
Glancing around I try and figure out when I am. I hear someone coming so I run and hide behind the gate.
Two people enter the room. One of them is Katherine. I can recognise her voice. That narrows the time down. It's either when we went to get Ernest or before Abydos.
"I'm on my way to a lecture. A Doctor Daniel Jackson is a linguist, whom I hope to recruit. I'll be back in a few days." And they walk out.
I let out the breath I'd been holding. Now I know when I am, I need to figure out how to leave my information somewhere that I'll find it when I return. How about my quarters? I was given the same ones when I returned from Abydos and I didn't really explore them the first time. The information could easily be hidden in there and I wouldn't find it until after Abydos. And this being before I had ever been here, the people wouldn't know me and wouldn't wonder how I got back.
This would work. It really could.
I make my way to my quarters and leave the information I'll need in there. Now I need to hide and wait. Wait for time to change.
*****
Date: July 28th
I leave her alone knowing that that is what she needs. I can't believe Jack told her he loved her just as he died. This is all so unfair. I don't want to go home, I'm going to go to the base instead.
Once alone in my quarters I let the tears free. The injustice of Jack dying, of Sam hurting, of me being powerless to change either of them. Of course earlier on I had thought about the time travel thing but it was too difficult for me to attempt, too many risks.
Then, just as planet co-ordinates can pop into my head, I remember something long ago discovered. When I first returned from Abydos I had sorted out my quarters. During the sort out I had found a list of times, total nonsense then and I'd only kept them because they had my name on and they were in my handwriting.
Now, where did I put them? A few moments ago I'd been tired, now I'm wide awake. I have a mission to do. I have to find the list, check that they are solar flares and then use one to travel back in time to change Jack's death.
Holding a piece of paper in my hands I smile to myself and congratulate myself on finding it. Looking at it I can see two columns. One must be for outward journies the other inward. All I had to do now was check which list was out and which was in, then I needed a way of using the gate undetected.
Somehow I had done it before, or rather I would do it in the future, or something like that. Astrophysics and time travel, especially, are not my area of expertise. I guess I need to tell someone so that they can help me. But who do I tell? Who do I trust? Who would believe me? Who would help me? Who had the clearance to help me? Okay, now I'm tired again. I'll find the answers tomorrow.
*****
Date: July 30th
I glance at my watch. I have two minutes before the next solar flare and it takes that long to dial the gate. Problem is the control room is still full of technicians. I told Janet of my plan and she's going to help me by calling for an emergency in the infirmary. She's going to pretend that there's some epidemic of somesort.
"Medical emergency!" Someone shouts over the loud speakers. "All personnel report to the infirmary now!"
The technician types a command into the computer and then follows the others who are running straight past me. I emerge from my hiding place and am glad that in his rush the technician failed to close the iris.
I type in the command code that is mine and then place my hand on the scanner. It recognises my hand print and code and the system opens up for me. I quickly type in the co-ordinates and run down to the gate room.
As soon as the gate activates I jump through, hoping I get to a time frame from which I can stop Jack's death. As I fly out of the gate I hit the ramp harder than usual. When I look up I see Sam stood in front of me, a look of disbelief on her face. Next to her is Jack. Yes! He's not dead yet. He's looking at me curiosly too. Then I realise why. Next to Jack is me. Oh boy!
*****
Date: Unknown
I'm sat in a holding cell. For actually being a member of the base I've spent a lot of time in these holding cells. On P7J989, SG-1 and I were in a virtual reality but it was still this cell. When I travelled back to 1969, SG-1 had been put in this cell. When my consciousness had been put into a robot, the robot had been put in here. Okay, that one I'd been told about but it was the priciple of the matter.
Jack and Sam enter the room and I glance up. It is still weird to see Jack alive, I'm happy about it but it's weird.
"Now, tell us who you are, how you got here and why you're here." Jack said. It was an order, not a request.
"I can't answer any of them. I can tell you that I am Doctor Daniel Jackson, just not your Daniel Jackson. I got here via the stargate and I really can't tell you anything more."
"Are you from an alternate reality?" Sam askes
"No, but what do you know about them?" I need to know what time I'm in.
"We know of two. One which our Daniel went to and one that my double came from."
"That's enough, Carter." Jack says gruffly while I cheer inwardly. If she's met her double they've already done their time travelling so they'll understand.
"All I can tell you is that I'm from the future."
Jack laughs. You'd think I'd be used to him laughing at me, but I'm not.
"It's the truth. I'm from your not too distant future and I've travelled back to stop a disaster from happening."
"Do you know what the ramifications of that might be?" Sam said sounding disgusted at me. "You can't change the past because something you don't like happened. You don't know what else you might change. I can't believe you'd ever do that. Our Daniel wouldn't."
"Doesn't that say that what's going to happen will be terrible if I'm willing to sacrifice everything for it?"
Jack leans forward. "No-one knows you did this do they?"
"Not really. I have to stop you from..."
"No!" Sam shouts. "You can't change our future. Sir," she turns to Jack, "I suggest we leave him in solitary confinement until we find a way of getting him back to his own time. We can't let him pollute the time line."
"Agreed." But before he can suggest a course of action the red alert klaxons sound.
They exchange glances and then head to the door. "Wait!"
They turn impatiently but in unison. How could they not know the truth about the other? Were they really that blind that only death made them realise their love?
"What?"
"What's the date?"
"July 27th."
Oh-God, this is the day. This emergency is the one that kills Jack.
"Don't go." I beg.
"Excuse me?" Both of them say.
"Stay here. Guard me. Go back to your quarters. Do anything just don't go to the gate room. Please."
*****
Date: July 27th
Jack looks at me as if considering this but Sam touches his arm. "Sir, we can't change our own future."
I see the look he sends her. He knows I'm right, that this emergency will change Daniel to risk the future but he knows she's right that it's wrong to change the future.
"Let's go." He says running off with her. He fails to shut the door though and I run after them.
I get to the gate room just after them and it's already started. When I was told about the accident I kept imagining it. I could see it replaying in my mind but now I got to see it for real. If I didn't do something Jack would still die.
The crazed Lieutenant, only recently assigned to the SGC, points his gun at Sam and the world slows. Everything moves in slow motion including me. If I could just get to Sam before the shot is fired I could save her. But time is too slow. I can't make it.
As the lieutenant pulls the trigger Jack jumps into life. He's closer to her and her knocks her out the way. I run closer I have to hear the exchange between them.
Sam sits up and rolls the Colonel over onto his back.
"Get a med unit in here now!" She orders seeing the gun wound to his shoulder and the blood pouring from it. She tries to stop the increasing blood flow but it doesn't work we can both see his life sliping away.
She strokes his face and his eyes open. He looks directly into her eyes and reaches up for her hand. With what little strength he has he squeezes her hand.
"I'm going to be fine."
She nods but she doesn't believe him. He doesn't believe himself.
"Sam, I need to tell you something."
She meets his eyes again and before he exchanges his feelings by means of words they both do it with a glance.
"I love you, Sam. I always have and always will." He whispers and his eyes close before she can even open her mouth.
"No," she whispers feeling his neck for a pulse. "No." she repeats when she fails to find it. "No. No." she begins to cry as the med unit come in and take Jack away from her. She stands up and looks at me. "Is that what you came to stop?"
"Yeah, I didn't though."
"I'll probably put this down to emotional instability later but I'll help you."
"Help me do what exactly?"
"I'll help you find a way to go back slightly and prevent his death. If only so I can tell him I love him before he dies."
"He knew." She looks up at me. "That look you shared it said it all."
"Maybe so, but I don't want to live without him, knowing that I killed him. Do you want my help, or not?"
"Yeah," I nod, "I do."
"I presume you brought some times of flares with you."
"Yeah, I found them in my quarters. Someone left them there years ago for me to find. That's why I did this. I have times to use to go forward or backward further in time."
"Let's find out when the next one to send you back is."
"It needs to be before any of this starts. I have to stop this all from happening."
"Promise me, you'll save Jack. No matter how many travels you make save him."
"I will. Only you and Jack know I'm from the future..."
"Don't worry I'll come up with an excuse."
I watch her walk up to the control room as she inputs some co-ordinates and I wait for the right time.
*****
Date: July 27th
I walk through the gate with a last look at Sam. We both know that in this time line she's going to be court-martialled for breaking regulations and letting me use the gate. We've timed this just right so that, hopefully, I travel back to just before the Lieutenant goes wacko. The other me should be in our quarters, Jack and Sam should be somewhere else and hopefully I can disable the lieutenant before anyone turns up. Then I just need to explain my presence there.
Should I pick alternate reality or time travel? Whatever I pick Sam will probably despise me for trying to change the events anyway. It doesn't matter about that all that matters is saving Jack.
I emerge through the gate and the red alerts go off. Oh-my-God, what was that that paradox Sam mentioned when we got back from 1969? The causality loop? I'm not sure. But I realise Jack's death is my fault. I set off the klaxons, scaring the lieutenant, causing him to fire at Sam, Jack jumps in front of Sam, Jack dies, I go back in time. A leads to B leads to C leads to A. And I've just completed the loop. What am I going to do?
As I stand here realising my dreadful role in the death of my best friend he enters the room with Sam close behind him.
The lieutenant freaks and pulls out a gun. It's aimed directly at Sam. Jack sees this and he panics so do I. I have to end the loop. I have to stop Jack from dying. If I do that then I don't travel back in time. If I don't travel back I can't start the loop. I have to stop the cycle. I run towards Sam and knock her out the way as the lieutenant fires. I feel the searing hot pain of metal as it glides through my flesh. I fall to the floor next to Sam. She turns me over and I'm glad to see some officers overpowering the lieutenant. I look up at Sam and she's looking at the door, totally confused. Stood in the doorway is the other me.
He walks over and Sam looks at us both in utter confusion. "What the...?"
"Can I talk to him?" The other me asks.
Sam nods and moves away. The other me comes closer. "Where are you from?"
"The future."
"And you came to stop Sam from dying?"
"Something like that. I'm not going to make it."
"Yes, you will." He says and I almost believe him.
"Promise me something."
"Anything, you are me." He says pushing his glasses back up on his nose.
"Get them two together." I whisper as breathing becomes difficult.
He looks over to whom I referred. "Sam and Jack? Is that why you came back? To get them two together?"
I nod with what little strength I have.
"You're a hopeless romantic." I smile weakly as my world begins to darken. "I will." he promises as my world disappears.
*****
Date: July 28th
I sit and watch them. I haven't told them the truth about my future self, about why he was here, about where he was really from, or the promise I made to him. They believe he was from an alternate reality and they can continue believing that because I'll take his secret to the grave. I will keep my promise though. After all what kind of a person would I be if I couldn't keep a promise I made to myself.
I watch them and realise my future self was right. They are in love, they don't know that but they are and one day I'll tell them. And if something happens to either of them before that day, well I'll travel back in time and change it. I know it's possible.
But, as I watch them I think they already know. They're just waiting for the right time and if they wait too long then I'll intervene.
*****
The End
Story Notes: Spoilers: Children of the Gods, One False Step, Tin man, Gamekeeper, 1969, sort of.
Hope you enjoy it but be warned there's multiple character deaths.
Season/sequel: Third.
Hope you enjoy it but be warned there's multiple character deaths.
Season/sequel: Third.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]