They'd come for Jack.
Sara O'Neill held little doubt in her mind, as she watched the two airforce officers walk up to her front door. She seriously considered ignoring the sharp knock. If she didn't answer the door there was no way Jack would do it.....but her instincts were too finely honed. Sara had been an airforce wife for fifteen years and she knew her duty. This was no different from all those phone calls, letters, the disrupted family holidays...no different at all.
"Mrs. O'Neill?" The first officer questioned.
She could have denied it, but there seemed little point. Sara stood back and let them in. Walking back into the kitchen, she picked up the remains of her cigarette.
"Um, is your husband home?" he continued.
"Yes, he is," she replied.
The officer's were looking about themselves. They were uncomfortable, but Sara didn't put them at their ease. She just stood there, smoking, waiting for one of them to ask the obvious question.
"Do you think we could speak with him?"
"You can try," she replied. "Upstairs, first on the left."
Her husband was in Charlie's room. Sara didn't need to have seen him to know where he was. He seemed to have spent at least the last six months in there..... At first Sara had tried to get him to leave, but he'd refused. In the end she'd just left him, figuring he'd come out when he was ready. She was still waiting.
As soon as the two men vanished, Sara let her mask of indifference slip. She angrily stubbed out her cigarette and, leaning her elbows on the counter, let her head fall into her hands.
She'd lost him. The fight was over.
Regaining a little of her composure, she climbed the stairs, stopping by her son's room. The door was open a crack and she could hear the low murmur of voices.
"Aren't you people worried that I'm still 'unstable'?" Jack's voice demanded.
It was the first words she'd heard him speak in three weeks.
"I don't think you understand, sir. We want you for this project, because of your condition," one of the officer's said.
Sara stepped a little closer, looking through the doorway, meeting her husband's eyes. She wanted him to see how scared she was, how much she still loved him...but Jack turned away. Sara did the same. These men had come to offer Jack one last chance of glory. A suicide mission. And the more dangerous it was, the more likely he was to accept. Heaven knows he'd tried hard enough to kill himself, he didn't really need the airforce to do it for him.
This was how their marriage was destined to end.....a phone call from a junior officer, telling her in a soft voice that Jack wasn't coming home again. Been there, done that.....she thought. Maybe it was time to let go. If this was really what he wanted, why should she try to stop him? The battle was over, he'd won. She walked back downstairs, pausing in the living room. There were pictures on the mantelpiece, memories of happier times.....Her favourite was the one of Charlie and Jack in their baseball uniforms, clutching the little league trophy. Jack had been so passionate about coaching that team, so alive. That one moment had captured everything she loved most about the man.
Footsteps on the stairs told her that the officers were leaving. She didn't bother to see them out and they knew better than to say anything to her. Up above, she could hear Jack moving around in their bedroom. Without really meaning to Sara went to see what he was doing. His dress uniform was laid out on the bed. He was brushing the specks of dust from the collar and shoulders.
"Don't go," Sara said, although she hadn't been meaning to speak.
Jack didn't reply. He just looked at her for a few seconds.
"Please," she added.
"They're waiting," he replied.
"You don't have to do this."
"I have orders."
He stripped off his shirt and walked into the bathroom. The shower started running. Sara went after him.
"Don't leave me, Jack," she pleaded, "Not now."
There were tears running down her face. Hot, angry tears.....she was so mad at him she could hardly speak. How could he do this? How could he leave her? Jack ignored her. He stepped into the shower, washing away the weeks of sweat and grime. His body was still firm, despite the two years of abuse. If Sara hadn't known better she would have sworn that he'd been working out every day....yet she felt no stirrings of desire. It seemed that part of their marriage was over too.
He hugged her once, before he left......Crushed her body to his in a last desperate gesture. Sara realised that she could have stopped him in that second...but she had run out of words. She couldn't watch as he walked out of the door and into the waiting car. As far as she was concerned, Jack was dead and there was no point in believing anything different.
The house seemed strangely empty without him. Sara found herself walking into Charlie's room, sitting on the bed in the spot that Jack had so recently occupied, and crying her eyes out.
***
It just wasn't fair.
Samantha Carter paced her cramped quarters, trying to deal with the bitter disappointment of being left behind.
And how come Jackson got a spot on the team? Why take him and not her? Maybe he could translate the symbols, but if the Stargate on the other side was damaged for any reason.....dammit, they needed her..... But Sam seemed to be the only one who thought so.
She'd already tried appealing to Kowalski, but he no longer had the required authority. Catherine had been sidelined and Sam had found it impossible to get an appointment with either Colonel O'Neill or General West....Not that she especially wanted to talk to O'Neill. He was hardly the most approachable of men. She'd met him the previous day in the commissary. When she'd introduced herself, he'd practically ignored her. The man had a serious attitude problem. It could just have been a dislike of female officers, but there was something behind his eyes.....or should that be nothing? Sam had seen corpses that looked as if they had more fun. He was leading this mission, wasn't he the least bit excited?
After two years the Stargate was working. Admittedly, it had taken Daniel Jackson's insight but Sam didn't really care. The 'gate had been the centre of her existence and now she was going to be left behind. Her combat record was good, her scientific skills unparalleled. She glanced at her watch. In another three hours it would be too late. There had to be something she could do, someone she could contact.
She stopped pacing.
Sam wasn't the type of officer who pulled strings. She prided herself on the fact that her achievements were her own, but this situation required drastic action. Picking up the phone she dialled her father's number. Typically, she only managed to get hold of his secretary, who told her specifically that the General was not to be disturbed. Even pulling rank wouldn't persuade the irritating man to budge, and he simply advised her to call back. The one time she wanted her father's help and he was stuck in some bunker pontificating.
Flopping back on her bed, Sam stared at the ceiling, still fuming. What day was it? Sometimes it was difficult to remember. Rapid calculation led her to realise that it was Thursday. In which case her father wasn't in a meeting, he was playing golf! She had to go through directory inquiries but she finally managed to get the number of his club. Naturally, she had to cope with yet another idiot but after hanging on the line for almost forty minutes she was rewarded by the sound of her father's voice.
"Sammie? What is it?"
"Dad...I need a favour."
"Must be a big one."
There was a catch in her father's voice. Sam took a deep breath, she couldn't afford to start an argument with him....not now.
"It is....Dad, do you know a General West?"
"Yeah...lousy golfer. What about him?"
"There's this mission and I need to go."
"What mission?"
"It's classified."
"I take it that it's something to do with why you've been holed up in Cheyenne Mountain for two years?"
"Yeah. Look Dad, they've brought in this guy O'Neill....but it's my mission. I don't want to lead it, I just want to go."
"Sam, you've told me time and time again to keep out of your career. Why is this different?"
"It just is. Please Dad...."
"I'll see what I can do."
"Thanks...oh...and if you could hurry."
"Then get off the phone!"
Sam grinned to herself. OK so this wasn't the way she liked to operate, but this mission was too important. She didn't intend to feel guilty.
***
Her Father must have got straight to work because half an hour later Sam was called to see General West. The General wasn't happy. He was clearly a man who disliked being manipulated.
"I've just had a very interesting conversation with a member of the Joint Chiefs," he began.
"Really, sir?" Sam replied, trying to sound innocent.
"Don't do that, Captain. You know very well what he had to say."
"Sir?"
"Captain...you do an end run around me again and I'll bust you back to boot camp...you understand me?"
"Sir, yes, sir!" Sam replied.
"And it won't matter who your daddy knows."
"Yes Sir."
"Now get your stuff together. You ship out in twenty minutes."
"Yes Sir!"
The entire conversation had only taken two minutes, but Sam realised that she hadn't made herself a friend. Even so....she'd got what she wanted, which was the only thing that mattered. At that moment she could have kissed her father.
Despite the fact she was a few minutes early, the rest of the team were waiting for her in the corridor outside the Stargate room. Her mumbled apologies were met with stony silence from O'Neill. She could tell that he wasn't impressed by her sudden reassignment and his mood seemed to have affected the rest of the team. At the very least she had expected some good natured ribbing from Kowalski.
Sam herself could barely contain her excitement. This was the culmination of what had become her life's work. The sad truth was, if she did get vaporised, Sam didn't believe there was a whole heap of people who would care. Her Dad would put it down to military experience, her brother Mark would blame the government and her ex-fiancee.....Sam laughed, she didn't even know where he was, thank God. But Sam didn't have a death-wish, she just wanted to be the first. As a child she had dreamed of going into space but this....It was a whole other planet out there! Even if the rest of the team didn't appreciate that fact, Sam certainly did. She had spent enough of her life gazing at the stars, imagining how to get there....
"If anyone has anything to say, now's the time to say it," O'Neill began.
"Atchooo!"
Daniel Jackson sneezed. The reaction gained him a dirty look from O'Neill, but the archaeologist remained unfazed. Sam grinned, but she straightened her face as the Colonel's eyes swung around to meet hers. She had to physically stop herself from shivering. Something inside the man was dead and buried.
"Move out," he ordered, leading them through the sliding door.
The 'gate was already active. Sam caught her breath....the shimmering circle of light was so beautiful. Seeing it from above was nothing compared to actually standing in front of it. She glanced up, at the control room. Catherine was there, her hand clutched to her chest, Dr. Shore, Dr. Myer's......Sam felt a bitter moment of regret. They should be here too......
Their supplies went first. Sam held her breath as FRED passed through the circle and vanished. The surface rippled....
"You can actually see the fluctuations in the event horizon," Sam heard herself mutter.
O'Neill swung around and glared at her. He was standing on the ramp, silhouetted in the light of the 'gate. Sam thought about apologising, but something stopped her. Why should she?
"The 'gate, sir," she explained, "We think it generates a stable wormhole."
He looked at her. Actually, looked at her and Sam saw emotion flicker across his face.
"Whatever," he muttered.
He flipped the safety off his weapon and started to walk towards the 'gate. The rest of the team waited as their leader stepped through the shimmering surface and disappeared.
At this moment Sam felt closer to Dr. Jackson than her military counterparts. He walked slightly ahead of her and Sam stood back as he touched the surface, his face breaking into a smile. There was something almost childlike about the action. He pushed his face through the gate, his body quickly following.
It was her turn. Now it came to it, she actually felt the thrill of fear. As Jackson had done, she let her fingers skim the surface. It seemed to grab at her, sucking her in. She glanced back again, catching Catherine's eye.
"Good Luck," the older woman mouthed.
Sam smiled and stepped through the 'gate.
Jack O'Neill landed on something solid. He lay there for a few seconds, trying to keep his lunch in his stomach....and he was cold...damn cold......The others would be right behind him, so he had to move...had to move....If Kowalski landed on him, he'd really know about it. Oh God, he really had to move, but his limbs refused to co-operate. He wondered if this was how it was finally going to end....crushed to death by special forces? How ironic. Sara was right after all. She'd begged him not to accept this assignment, cried even, but he'd taken no notice. She didn't understand. He was doing this for her, for Charlie, for all those lives he'd managed to screw up. Sara wouldn't have to see him anymore, then maybe she could start to forgive him. Feeling his eyes misting over, Jack froze his emotions before they got the better of him and concentrated on where he actually was. It was a building of sorts. The air was dry, dusty almost....cool. Although that could have been the residual chill from the gate.
He had to get up...or there would be no one to complete his mission. Somehow, Jack managed to scramble to his feet and get out of the way before the first airman landed. Movement made the nausea worse but he was gratified to see that the trip affected them all as badly. Even...what was her name? Crater? No, Carter, that was it. The scientist...or make that the other scientist. He didn't know who she was, but be realised that she must have friends in the right places. There hadn't even been time to review her record, so as far as Jack was concerned she was an unknown quantity and therefore a liability. God she was....All wide blue eyes and blonde hair. Her very appearance seemed to radiate endless enthusiasm. And what the hell was that physics crap she had been spouting?
Whatever. He was mildly surprised to see she was up and moving around while Jackson was still lying in a crumpled heap at the foot of the gate.
"Jackson, it's all right, it's over," Jack said, reaching out a hand to make sure the archaeologist was still breathing.
"Stay with him," he ordered Brown, moving away to follow Carter.
"Jackson, listen to me, keep moving. It wears off in a minute," Brown said.
"What a rush," Ferretti breathed.
"I feel like I've been through a blizzard...naked," Kowalski added.
"Must be from the decompression your molecules undergo," Carter muttered to herself.
She didn't seem to notice that all the other members of the team turned and stared at her.
"What?" Freeman asked.
"Oh...well, when you pass through the wormhole..."
"Prepare to move out!" Jack cut her off before she could launch into what would probably be a very long and boring lecture. She clearly needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut.
Before they could follow his orders the light from the gate died, leaving them in pitch darkness. Jack pulled out a flare, using it to illuminate the room. The rest of the team followed suite.
"Three teams let's go!" he ordered.
"White team go," Kowalski added.
He and Ferretti lead the way forward, quickly followed by Carter and Reilly. She seemed quick enough when it came to following orders, Jack gave her that much, and she could move silently....like some big cat. Only Jackson hesitated, staring around himself in complete fascination.
"Brown, Freeman, bring up the rear," Jack snapped, hoping that they'd usher Jackson forward.
They moved out of the chamber, into a similar one, then another....their path leading upwards. The light became stronger and the air lost the hint of coolness the stones provided. They were in some kind of gallery...the very size of it was awe inspiring...if Jack could have found inspiration in anything any more. They passed through into some kind of entrance hall, brightly lit when compared to the previous gloom. At the end was a doorway, through which they caught a glimpse of blue, blue sky. Jack was suddenly reminded of long, hot, summer, afternoons, playing baseball with Charlie.....Sara watching from the porch.
"Clear. No contact"
"Freeze. Hold for sounds."
Jack paused to put on his sunglasses, hiding his eyes from the world.
"One two ratio stable. Conditions are similar to inside," Brown reported.
"I wanna take a look around....Kowalski, Ferretti"
The two airmen, did as requested, leading the way out. They took up position just outside the door. Carter and Reilly went next, with Brown and Freeman still covering the rear.
Jack then took his first steps onto this new world. Damn, but it was hot. Just walking down the ramp was enough to bring him out in a sweat. It was a desert world. Vaguely aware that Jackson was following him, Jack climbed up the nearest dune. Only then did he really look around. Sand, sand, more sand and then.....
A pyramid. For a second, Jack stopped breathing. There was little doubt now that they were no longer on Earth. Three huge moons hung in the sky above, large enough to be seen despite the bright sun. Another world, another planet.......
"I knew it," Jackson whispered.
Jack had heard about the archaeologist's theories.....and it looked like the kid was right...assuming he could get back to earth and actually tell someone. Which brought Jack's own orders back to mind. For a second there the very grandeur of the surroundings had clouded his judgement.
The first thing he had to do was get his team safely home. Jackson had dashed back down the dune, towards the pyramid, clearly experiencing some kind of archaeologist type revelation. The rest of the team was spread out at the base, carrying out their required duties. Jack caught a glimpse of Carter's blonde hair as she vanished around a corner of the building. He still found himself wondering exactly what she had come here to find. No matter. She wasn't going to have the time.
He turned his back on the pyramid and reached for a cigarette. He'd quit for a while but it hardly seemed worth the effort now. The faintest hint of a breeze stirred over the dunes, stirring up the sand at his feet. His eyes scanned the horizon, searching for some sign that there weren't alone on this world. Nothing. Still, he felt uneasy. Why would someone go to the trouble of building a massive structure in the middle of a desert? There was something here he didn't understand....didn't want to understand. No point in thinking about it....Restlessly, he scrambled back down the dune, "Report," he snapped.
"Our quarter mile perimeter survey is just about complete, sir," Kowalski replied.
"Wrap this up and get everybody back inside. I want you all through the Stargate within the hour."
"You're coming with us aren't you Colonel?"
Jack ignored that question, choosing to head towards Jackson.
"Sir?" Kowalski repeated.
The archaeologist was coming down the ramp, his concentration bent to the notebook in his hand.
"Jackson? Start working on the Stargate," Jack ordered.
At the edge of his vision, Jack noticed Carter moving towards Kowalski.
"What's that all about?" he heard her ask.
"I don't know, Carter."
She sounded disappointed. Well, too bad. This wasn't a mission for scientists, despite the fact he had been forced to bring two of them along.
"I'm going to need more time. There's bound to be more structures here, or some other traces of civilisation," Jackson protested.
"Not this trip, just get back in there and re-establish contact," Jack replied.
His conversation was drawing the interest of the other members of the team. They formed a loose semi-circle around their commanding officer, staring at the man who was daring to argue with a direct order.
"It's not so easy, this is a replica of the Great Pyramid of Giza. We won't find and hieroglyphic inscriptions or carved relief. I mean we really need to look around more," Jackson went on.
"Your job is to realign the Stargate. Can you do that or not?"
Jackson appeared to nod, before answering... "I can't."
"You can't or won't?"
"I can decipher the symbols on the Stargate, but I need an order of alignment. Those co-ordinates were on tablets back on Earth. There must be something like that here and I just need to find it."
Jack should have been surprised, but somehow he wasn't. So far, this mission had been far too easy. He felt himself smile. The rest of the team weren't quite so calm.
"Find it? What do you mean, find it? You didn't say anything about finding anything," Kowalski yelled.
"Well, I assumed the tablets would be here," Jackson protested.
"You assumed!" Jack could hardly believe what he was hearing......Assumed! Jackson had sworn that he could get them home again. It was the only reason that this mission had gone ahead. He glanced at the rest of his men, registering their disappointment. They all had families and lives, they didn't want to be stuck here.
"You're a lyin' son of a bitch! You didn't say a word about finding anything!" Kowalski went on. Stepping forward he knocked Jackson to the ground. He probably would have seriously injured the archaeologist and, as tempting as that sounded, Jack couldn't let that happen. The young man still represented their only way back to Earth.
"Kowalski!" Jack interrupted the tirade, "Set up a camp down here. Organise our supplies."
"Sir...!"
"You've got your orders."
It looked like the insubordination was spreading. Jack kept his face impassive as he faced Kowalski, leaving little doubt in the other man's mind as to what would happen if he didn't follow orders. It was enough to make Kowalski back down, and the rest of the team followed. They wouldn't hurt Jackson, but they would probably make his life hell until he found the way home. Only Carter appeared slightly sympathetic. She hesitated for a few seconds and it looked as if she was going to offer Jackson a few words of support, but in the end she turned and followed the others back into the pyramid.
Sam dumped her last load in the sand and collapsed next to it. It was hot here....more than hot. She resisted the temptation to wipe the layer of sweat from her skin. The rest of the guys had stripped down to their vests, but Sam felt reluctant to follow suit. She was only wearing a tank-top under her T-shirt, which showed a little too much mid-riff for her liking. Besides, her skin was prone to burning and she hadn't packed that much sun-block. The MALP probe had been next to useless when it came to predicting the surface conditions.
The rest of the team was lounging in the shade of the shelter they had erected...apart from Dr. Jackson, who was sitting in the direct sunlight, munching candy bars. He didn't seem to notice the heat. In fact, he seemed pretty oblivious to everything that was going on. The only other person who seemed to be missing was O'Neill. She had seen him go back into the pyramid after they had finished unloading the supplies. Though what he expected to find in there, she wasn't certain. He didn't seem like the intellectual type.
"Hey, Carter!" she looked up to see Kowalski standing over her.
He tossed her a canteen of water and grinned.
"Thanks," Sam returned.
She took a sip of water...it was warm, but it was better than nothing.
"I was thinking?" Kowalski went on.
"What about?" Ferretti asked.
"Planet Kowalski."
"Planet Kowalski!"
"Yeah."
"Who says?"
"You got a better idea?"
"I could think of one....how about Ferretti?"
"Nah.....don't have the right ring to it....What do you think Carter?"
Sam was surprised to be included in their conversation. She hadn't expected to be accepted so easily....although she did wonder if they were talking to her as a further attempt to oust Dr. Jackson, yet part of her was pathetically grateful.
"I'm sorry.....it has to be Samantha," she grinned. "No question."
They looked at each other and then back at her, before shaking their heads in unison.
"So," she went on, "O'Neill....what's his problem?"
"Don't know," Ferretti shrugged.
"I served with him back in '82, he was a totally different guy," Kowalski added.
"In what way?" Sam asked.
She didn't know why she was so curious about her new commanding officer, but she couldn't seem to help herself. He intrigued her. There was something about him.....Sure he was a good looking man, but it was more than that.
"Dunno...." Kowalski continued. "He was just....he was a real funny guy. Used to say stuff just to make us all laugh and break the tension. Let me tell you, some of the missions we went on...we needed it. I mean he was only a Captain then, but we'd have followed him into hell itself. He was always there for his men. Never left one of us behind, no matter what."
"And now....?" Sam wondered.
"At a guess.....something happened to him. Something bad....not just the special forces.....But he saved my butt more than once, stuff like that makes you warm to a guy, whatever problem he might have."
"I guess."
"Jeeze, what is that geek doing...?" Ferretti interrupted.
His attention was fixed on Jackson.....who was now preoccupied with emptying the pockets of his vest, searching for more candy. He was tossing objects out onto the sand. Sam felt a little sorry for him. Under other circumstances she might have gone to speak to him, but she was unwilling to upset the fragile alliance she had built with the rest of the team. To a certain extent she did share their annoyance. There were occasions when she got so involved in her own projects that she did throw caution to the wind....but she'd never got a whole bunch of people stranded on a completely different planet. Yes, she understood their anger....even if she didn't totally share that emotion.
For herself, the chance of an extended stay on this planet was not going to be wasted. If O'Neill had had his way there wouldn't have been any opportunity for study. Despite the fact that she might never see her home again, Sam was excited by the prospect of exploring this new world.
But Jackson really should be doing something, she realised. Sitting in the sand staring into the horizon was not going to endear him to the rest of the team. They were all watching him now......
"Hey!" Ferretti called to Jackson.
"Hey...hi," he replied.
"Isn't there something you should be doing right now?....Like getting us out of here?!"
Picking up the archaeologist's case, Ferretti hurled it at the man, almost hitting him. Jackson ducked out of the way and watched in dismay as his books were scattered over the dune. Ferretti was almost proud of himself as he came back to the rest of the team. Brown offered him a high five, whilst Freeman slapped him on the back. Sam didn't say anything. Getting to her feet, she turned her back on the men and walked towards the pyramid, figuring Colonel O'Neill's company would be more agreeable right now.
Even the short walk left her dripping sweat. Looking up at the sun, she wished she had the guts to remove her black T-shirt. Once inside, she took a few moments to enjoy the cool darkness. The place was a maze, she realised as she started back towards the Stargate. If they hadn't marked the way, it would be easy to get lost in here. As she walked through the dim corridors, Sam couldn't help feeling a little overawed. Jackson may have found the place fascinating but it gave her the creeps. Once alone, thoughts of ancient curses kept running through her head. She couldn't escape the feeling that something terrible had happened here. Sam picked up the pace, figuring she didn't want to be on her own in here longer than absolutely necessary....
"Base camp is up, sir."
Jack jumped as Carter's voice floated out of the darkness. He stood up, hiding the bomb's control device down by his side.
Carter was standing in the entrance to the chamber, silhouetted by the torches they had left in the corridor. How long had she been standing there? Jack hadn't heard her approach...Either the captain was better than her science background implied, or he was slipping. After his extended period off duty, he was willing to blame the latter.
"Anything I can help you with, Sir?" Carter continued, stepping into the room.
"No. Return to base camp," he returned.
"Yes, sir.....are you coming, Colonel?"
"Need someone to hold your hand, Captain?"
"No sir, I'll see you back at base."
He saw her face fall at his remark, and Jack felt very slightly guilty. Part of him knew Carter must have worked very hard to get where she was, and she didn't need him making life more difficult for her. Despite the short time they had worked together, it was becoming harder for Jack to emotionally detach himself from his team. Given what he might have to do, it wasn't a position he wanted to put himself in.
Carter had already followed his orders, leaving him alone again. He supposed he should go after her and see if Jackson had found anything that vaguely resembled writings. Picking up his weapon, he started to make his way out of the pyramid. To his surprise, Carter was standing just outside the entrance of the chamber. At first he thought that she was waiting for him, but then he realised that she was staring intently at something within.
"What do you think that is, sir?" she asked, pointing to a circular disc on the floor.
"Don't know," he replied, "but there's another one up there."
She followed his gaze.
"Wonder what it's made of," she muttered, making a move to go back inside.
"You can play later, Captain," he told her. "C'mon."
For the first time, he found himself the recipient of Carter's smile. Her eyes lit up, her cheeks dimpled, and Jack felt his heart give a strange kind of thump. He'd made her smile like that and it felt good.
They walked out of the building together, crossing the sand towards base camp. As they approached, Jack made a mental recce of his team....it didn't take a mathematical genius to realise that someone was missing.
"Where's Jackson?" he demanded.
Ferretti, pointed wordlessly across the desert and Jack swore to himself. He should have known that leaving Jackson alone would be a mistake. The men here were pissed at him and though they wouldn't deliberately hurt him, they would go out of the way to make his life unpleasant.
"Kowalski, Carter, you're with me," he ordered. "The rest of you.....keep your eyes open."
He started down the dune, the other two officers hurrying to catch up. Luckily, Jackson's tracks were clear and he hadn't managed to get that far. But he had found something.....An animal....it looked like some kind of ugly, hairy cow. And Jackson was offering it candy.
"I wouldn't feed that thing! " Jack yelled.
"It's got a harness!" Jackson shouted back. "It's domesticated!"
But his momentary truce with the beast had been broken. Whether it was frightened by Jackson or the arrival of other people it was difficult to say. Whatever, it bolted. Jackson was standing too close and got his foot caught in the harness. As the animal galloped off, the archaeologist was dragged behind.
"Damn it!" Jack swore. The only person who could get them home was trying to get himself killed.
"Let go of it!" Kowalski shouted, uselessly.
Jackson was crying out for help, but there was nothing anyone could do. The beast was just too fast, and had the advantage of being adapted to the desert conditions. Before long, the humans were forced to slow down and follow more sedately. It would do them no good to pass out from heat exhaustion before finding Jackson. Even so, the pace Jack set was demanding. They were all sweating profusely by the time they finally came across the aanimal. Jackson was passed out on the sand, having his faced licked.
"EWWWW!" Carter exclaimed, wrinkling up her nose.
"Don't knock it, Captain. This could turn out to be the latest beauty treatment," Jack muttered to her.
Carter grinned at him, and dammit, but he wanted to smile back.
"You OK, Jackson?" Kowalski asked.
Jack left the group, walking to the tope of the nearest dune. That animal had to be going somewhere, he figured and home was a pretty good bet.
"Kowalski!" Jack shouted over his shoulder, ordering the other man to join him.
"You dropped these," Sam said, handing Daniel his glasses.
"Carter!"
She came to join him at the top of the dune. He glanced at her, seeing her jaw drop at the sight below. Carter dropped to ground raising her weapon. Jack remained standing while Kowalski went down on one knee.
There were people. Hundreds of people. Most of them were gathered beneath a shelter of some kind, but there were long processions that appeared to be shifting rock from an open mine. They appeared primitive by Earth standards, no weapons were apparent. Jack signalled for Carter and Kowalski to stand. As they rose out of the sand one of the people below saw them. He shouted to the rest of the miners.
Jack started down the dune. If Jackson had wanted signs of civilisation this was it. He doubted that they had the knowledge to activate the Stargate, but he couldn't afford to overlook what was a possible source of information.
As the rest of the people stood and stared, one of their number came towards them. It was a young man, his hair platted into strange braids. Unlike the rest of his people, he didn't seem to be afraid. His attitude was familiar somehow, but for a few seconds Jack couldn't remember where he had seen that expression before. Then it hit him. Charlie. His son had looked that way when faced with something new. It was the same innocent gaze. Jack tried not to let the sudden discomfort show on his face, he turned to Jackson,
"All right, Jackson. You're on," he ordered.
"Me?" Jackson questioned.
"You're the linguist, try to talk to 'em"
Daniel took a few hesitant steps forward and said, "Hi,"
Everyone just stared at him. This was not going well.
Something glinted in the sunlight, and for the first time, Jack noticed that Jackson was wearing a medallion on the outside of his fatigues. One of the natives noticed it too and immediately hurled himself to the ground, signalling for the others to do the same.
Then there was more silence.
"What did you say to them?" Jack demanded, moving to stand beside Jackson.
"Nothing," the archaeologist replied.
Jack looked around, spotting the boy who had first come towards them. He walked towards him. As the shadow fell over him, the boy looked up. Jack offered out his palm,
"Hey...hmm....Its OK see?" he said, using the voice he'd always used when his son had been afraid.
The boy raised his head and Jack took his hand, shaking it. For a few seconds, the boy did nothing, then he screamed and ran away. Jack watched him go, trying to hide his disappointment. He glanced over at Carter who immediately started examining the gathered rocks.
"Quartz primary element," her instrument spoke.
It was strange but the people didn't appear to be scared of that, but a simple handshake had freaked them out. Carter seemed to be studying the readings intently, but Jack's attention was soon diverted by the approach of another animal. The same species as the one Jackson had found, if he wasn't mistaken. This one was carrying a litter, no doubt protecting the occupant from the glare of the sun. The boy was running beside it, explaining to whoever was inside about the strangers. Jack felt an absurd sensation of pride. The kid hadn't run away, he'd just gone to get his leader. Smart.
As the animal drew to a halt, a flap was thrown back and an old man started to descend. Despite the harsh conditions, he appeared healthy. No doubt his age gave him a certain amount of authority here. He was certainly the oldest face amongst them. Despite the fact he carried a staff, he didn't appear to need it for walking.
He approached them, curiously, taking his time before he finally spoke.
"I can't make it out. It sounds familiar. A bit like Berber. Or maybe it's Chadic or Omotic," Jackson muttered to himself.
Realising the strangers didn't understand him, the old man signalled for his people to rise. He then gestured three women forward, who offered water. The three humans were in no position to refuse the offering and all three of them drank greedily.
"Thank you," Jackson said to one of them. She didn't reply, but turned away blushing, slightly.
Jack forced back a grin. It looked like Jackson was a hit with the ladies. The archaeologist was now nodding and bowing, a fixed smile on his face. Then his hands moved to his vest pocket and he pulled out a chocolate bar. Jack glanced at Carter who shrugged back. She was clearly thinking the same as he was. Candy offerings seemed to be Jackson's number one way of communicating. He made sniffing and mmmmm noises before handing it over. The older man looked highly dubious, but sniffed the confectionery before finally eating it. An expression of joy crossed his face.
"Bonni..." he began, "Bonniwe! Bonniwe!"
"Bonniwe," Jackson repeated.
"What's it mean?" Kowalski demanded.
"I have no idea."
The old man then made a follow me gesture.
"He's inviting us to go with him," Jackson explained.
"How can you be so sure?" Kowalski hissed.
Jackson looked at him as if he couldn't quite believe that Kowalski didn't understand, then repeated the gesture and said, "Because he's inviting us to go with him. We were looking for signs of civilisation. Obviously we found it. You want me to get us back home, this is our best shot."
Jack acknowledged the appeal with a nod.
"Colonel, he's right. I took some readings on what they're mining. This is the same material as the Stargate," Carter added, her voice having the tone Jack was quickly learning to associate with excitement.
But he didn't really need convincing. He'd already come to that conclusion himself.
"Radio base camp. Tell them to keep that area secured until we get back," he ordered.
"Yes, sir!"
***
For the fourth morning in a row Sara O'Neill awoke with a start...wondering why the other side of the bed was empty. It always seemed to take a few seconds for reality to come crashing in. Despite the fact that Jack was gone, she still slept on one side of the bed. She always had done....even when he had been missing for four months. It was her way of keeping hope alive.
Even after the accident they had still slept in the same bed. Barely moving, never touching, sharing nothing more than sleeping space. Jack was too well trained to talk in his sleep, so she never really knew if he had nightmares or not. She guessed he did. Even at rest he would never lose that last veneer of control and let her in. Sometimes, Sara ached to hold him.....but she never had the courage to reach across that invisible barrier. If he had reached out to her, that would have been another matter, but it was something Jack would never allow himself to do.
As for making love....She struggled to remember the last time. They'd had sex since Charlie died, but that was all it was. Quick, frantic coupling nothing more. She'd used sex in her attempts to get through to Jack, teased him until all he could do was respond to her....and never here...never in their bed. The attempt at intimacy didn't work...if anything it had driven Jack further away.
Sara climbed out of bed and opened the curtains. It was a bright sunny day...the type of day when Jack would have spent all his time out in the garden....
~~~~
He loved being outside. That was one of the first things she had learnt about him. Given the choice he would have lived in the open air. For their first date he had taken her to the park. They'd walked for hours.....despite fact had been raining.
Sara remembered all these things as she watched him waiting outside the school gates. She was late for their date, and getting later every second.
"You're work is good, but you haven't answered the question. I can't grade this paper, I'm sorry," Sara heard herself explain for what felt like the hundredth time. She glanced out of the window again. Jack was looking up at her gesturing at his watch. She smiled down at him, giving a surreptitious wave.
"That isn't fair!" the girl complained, switching Sara's attention back to the errant pupil.
"Answer the question and I'll be happy to give you an A. Since you're new here I'm going to cut you some slack. You have until tomorrow to redo the assignment."
"But...."
"Take it or fail, Samantha.."
Looking back out of the window, Sara was disappointed to see that Jack had gone. For a second, she thought he had got tired of waiting. The knock on the classroom door reassured her. Jack stuck his head around the door.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but you have a very naughty boy out here who's just waiting to be punished," he grinned.
Sara felt her face flush. Her student giggled. No doubt this little scene would be replayed before most of her classmates before the week was out. The math teacher's kinky boyfriend...what a wonderful piece of gossip!
But Sara couldn't stay annoyed with Jack, it was impossible. He'd give her that cute grin....like a little boy who'd got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She was so much in love with him, it scared her. It was impossible to imagine loving anyone else.
~~~~
The garden had been neglected for a long, long time. Sara paid a man to cut the grass once in a while, but the flower beds that had once been Jack's pride and joy had fallen into disrepair. She didn't have the time to tend to them herself. It was summer, the roses should have been blooming, but their sweetness was lost in the tangle of weeds.
The bright light was hurting her eyes. Sara drew the curtains again and crawled back under the covers. It was Saturday. She didn't have to go anywhere, do anything, she might just as well stay in bed. That had been part of Jack's problem. Without the airforce he'd had no reason to face the world again. While Sara had eventually gone back to work, Jack had been left at home with nothing to do.....apart from grieve.
Sara looked at the other side of the bed. Very slowly, she stretched herself across, laying her head on Jack's pillow.
***
Outside the city the wind howled. The desert night was cold and Sam couldn't help longing for the sleeping bag waiting for her back at base camp.
'Of all the nights to get stuck in a sandstorm,' she mused to herself.
The city was like any other desert habitation. White buildings with flat roofs, several stories high. Walkways stretched between the upper levels and people were sitting on them, straining to catch sight of the strangers, talking among themselves. Fires and torches were burning everywhere, lighting up the night. Above the chatter, Sam could hear music being played....there was something almost familiar about it. In some ways it reminded her of Jerusalem...the market in the heart of the old town.
Dr. Jackson was in his element. He'd theorised that the people here thought that the team from Earth had been sent from Ra. Their god, by all accounts. The mistake had something to do with the amulet Catherine had given Jackson, but Sam wasn't sure what. Certainly the great gold 'eye of Ra' dominated the feast. If she was honest with herself it gave her the creeps. She found herself involuntarily shrinking towards O'Neill...and then berating herself for it. She had a lot to prove to this man, and she wasn't going to do it by running away from every little thing that unnerved her.
She'd learnt a few names since they'd been here. The boy O'Neill had shaken hands with was called Skaara and the old man, Kasuf. As yet, she didn't know the woman who had been so taken with Jackson was....but she was one of the people serving them. It annoyed Sam to see the women being so subservient. She was slightly surprised that she had been allowed to eat with the men....unless of course they didn't realise she was female....or as one sent by Ra she was given special privileges...who could be sure? Maybe she'd ask Jackson about it later.
Her stomach growled. Despite the way the food looked, she was starving. Jackson was chewing on a chunk of unleavened bread and Kasuf was gesturing for them all to start on the covered platter that the women had just set before them.
"Hey Jackson. I don't think we should eat any food here," Kowalski warned.
"I don't know, they might consider it an insult," he replied.
The cloth was lifted from the plate. It was an armadillo. It was an armadillo stuffed with....what looked like snake entrails. Sam wrinkled her nose as she looked at it. She glanced at O'Neill. He seemed to be perfectly happy without food....but she was starting to suspect that the man lived on nicotine. All eyes were on Jackson, who appeared to hesitate.
"Well, now we don't want to offend them now do we, Daniel?" Kowalski grinned.
Shooting Kowalksi a filthy look, Daniel picked up a piece of the meat-like substance. He sniffed it and took a bite. Then he laughed.
"It tastes like chicken!" he exclaimed. "It tastes like chicken...it's good..."
Then he turned to Kasuf and, to Sam's embarrassment started doing chicken impressions.
"Tastes like chicken, tastes like chicken....good."
Kasuf smiled. Daniel had obviously made a hit there. Sam turned to O'Neill to say as much, only to find his attention distracted by the boy Skaara, who was sitting nearby, enjoying Daniel's performance. Sam reached out and touched O'Neill's sleeve.
"Sir?" she asked, quietly.
The Colonel chose to ignore her, speaking instead to Daniel, "Jackson. You said that was an Egyptian symbol."
"Yeah, the eye of Ra."
"Would you say then, that if they know one Egyptian symbol....?"
He let his words trail off.
"Yes....yes," Daniel agreed.
The Colonel was right. Sam hadn't picked him out as a thinking man, but he was obviously reasoning more clearly than either of the people with Ph.D.'s. Daniel scrambled to his feet and crossed to Kasuf. He pulled out the amulet. At first, Kasuf refused to look at it, but after he did, Daniel went on to draw the symbol in the sand. The effect on the old man was astounding. First, he brushed out the drawing, then shot to his feet waving his arms in the air.
Daniel's woman, who was standing beside Kasuf, was dismissed and Sam had a glimpse of her moving rapidly through the crowd.
"What the hell's going on?" Kowalski asked.
"It seems that writing is forbidden to them," Daniel replied.
"Ya think?" O'Neill said, exhaling cigarette smoke.
A group of women then approached Daniel, pulling him to his feet and wrapping him in a cloak.
"What? What?" he demanded.
He was rapidly led away, accompanied by the women.
"They want me to go with them!" he called over his shoulder. "Should I stay? I'll go with them. I'll go. I'll be fine."
"Colonel, shouldn't we do something?" Sam asked.
O'Neill was now on his feet, watching as Daniel was dragged away.
"Sir?"
"You heard the man. He'll be OK. It's just a bunch of women."
Sam sent him a filthy look, but he didn't seem overly concerned. O'Neill reached out and casually helped himself to a slice of 'armadillo', breaking his nicotine only rule to chew on the meat.
"He's right," he said, "it does taste like chicken."
He glanced at Sam, then held out a portion....Sam knew a challenge when she saw one. Feeling slightly sick, she accepted the food. There was no way she could eat this, was there? Kowalski was openly grinning and even O'Neill's mouth turned up at the corners. Despite herself Sam took a bite. The texture was slightly strange, but not unpleasant and she managed to swallow it down without gagging. Sam reached for some vegetables afterwards, figuring that they were probably safer. She had learnt from bitter experience the results of eating the wrong food in a strange country. The vegetables tasted better than the 'armadillo', having a char-grilled flavour. The meal didn't last much longer. Most of the attendees had departed with Daniel. A sweet, almost sickly combination of what appeared to be pastry and honey made up the last course. It was very rich and Sam only managed to eat a small piece...which led to Kowalski making jokes about watching her weight. He seemed relaxed enough and Sam tried her best to follow his example.
After eating, they were shown to a room in one of the nearby buildings. There was still no sign of Daniel. Whatever he was doing, Sam hoped he was enjoying himself. She could feel the night chill in earnest now, and huddled as close as she could to the meagre fire.
"Cold?"
O'Neill's voice surprised her. He was the last person she would have expected to notice.
"Yes," she heard herself answer. There was really no point in denying the fact.
He didn't reply, but ducked out of the room for a few seconds, before returning with an armful of blankets. Sam would have protested, but O'Neill handed one to Kowalski as well as herself. She guessed it must have been made of wool from the animal that had led them here....it certainly smelt that way, but she was grateful for the extra warmth. Kowalski had been right. O'Neill looked after the people under his command....that much hadn't changed.
Sam soon found herself dozing. When she actually thought back, it had been a long time since she had slept. The past few days had been spent in a flurry of excitement and there had been little time for rest. Here, in a strange city, on an alien world, Sam was starting to doze. She wondered, briefly if she should volunteer to stand watch, but before her mouth could form the words she was asleep.
She slept undisturbed for a good hour, but the unfamiliar surroundings were enough to ensure that she didn't rest for long. When she awoke, she found that she had been covered by a second blanket. She sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. Kowalski was sitting across the other side of the fire, O'Neill was by the door, smoking. To her surprise, Skaara was sitting with him, playing with O'Neill's lighter. An easy smile spread over the Colonel's face as he watched the boy.
"Yeah, It's pretty fabulous," he muttered, indicating the lighter.
Skaara understood, and Sam could tell that he was overjoyed with his new toy. In the presence of the child, O'Neill seemed to relax. He even grinned at Sam when Skaara reached for one of his cigarettes. She sent back a disapproving look and his smile got even wider. He reminded her of a guilty schoolboy, laughing when Skaara choked and threw the cigarette away.
"You're right," O'Neill agreed, "it's pretty stupid."
He ground out his own cigarette, glancing at Sam again. Skaara attempted to give the lighter back, but O'Neill shook his head, "No you, keep it," he said. "It's yours."
The boy was delighted, and Sam could see that O'Neill had made a friend for life. The sight was arousing something maternal within her. She couldn't help smiling as O'Neill turned back towards her. It was almost as if he was saying sorry and begging for approval. Sam nodded, blushing a little. This was a very different Jack O'Neill. He almost seemed to be.....flirting with her? Sam lowered her head, glancing up at him through her eye lashes.
His attention was still riveted on her when Skaara reached for his discarded gun. O'Neill must have seen him from the corner of his eyes because his demeanour changed instantly. He snatched the weapon away from the boy.....
"NO! Dangerous!" he screamed.
Clearly terrified, Skaara turned tail and fled. O'Neill just stood there, frozen. Sam glanced at Kowalski, who shrugged, as confused as she was. Sam started to go to the colonel, but Kowalski stopped her with a shake of his head. Against her better judgement, she lay back down and tried to sleep. But the expression in O'Neill's eyes haunted her......she had never seen a man look so scared.
***
What had he been doing? O'Neill raged to himself, trying to dispatch the images in his head. Why did kids find guns so fascinating? He conveniently forgot that half of his childhood had been spent learning how to shoot.
God, for a second there, he had felt so at home. Skaara could have been Charlie and....he recalled Sam's...Carter's half disapproving expression, her bright smile.....so like Sara's. Surely, he couldn't be that screwed up? He squeezed his eyes shut...when Skaara had picked up that gun....He needed to calm himself. It wouldn't do for his team to see him like that again. Carter had been scared of him....or was that scared for him? He couldn't tell. He shouldn't care. Look at her now, trying to feign sleep. O'Neill bet that she was just itching to find out what was wrong...to offer her help. She was that kind of person. But, he'd seen Kowalski stop her, for which he was grateful.
He moved to the doorway, staring out over the city. The air was very still and he could no longer hear the wail of the storm.
"Carter, see if you can contact base camp. It's time we got out of here," he ordered.
"Yes, sir," she replied.
Carter shrugged off her blankets and picked up her radio. She bent over it, her faced creased in concentration.
"Sir?"
"What?"
"There's nothing, sir."
"No signal at all?"
"Nothing."
"More interference?"
"No......They're simply not there. "
O'Neill swore to himself. Base camp wasn't answering, that had to be bad.
"We need to find Jackson," he grunted.
Carter and Kowalski followed him out, separating to search for the archaeologist. Letting him get dragged off, didn't seem like such a good idea now.
The streets were almost empty, most of the population having drifted away to their homes once the excitement was over. Venturing towards the city walls, O'Neill caught of glimpse of a group of boys sitting near the animal pens. Skaara was among them. He was proudly displaying the lighter to his friends, slapping their hands away when they got to close. O'Neill moved closer, transfixed by the sight. It reminded him of the time Charlie had got a new bike...
"I haven't been able to locate Jackson, sir," Kowalski reported.
O'Neill's attention snapped back to his second in command. Kowalski handed over Jackson's vest and gave a shrug. Dismissing the other man with a salute, O'Neill's attention turned back towards the group of boys. It was possible that they knew something.
"I'm looking for Jackson, Jackson. The guy who wears this Jacket? He's, uh, he's got like long hair that comes down," he began, making gestures to illustrate his point.
They all copied him, mistaking his illustration of Jackson's hair for a salute.
"No, No, No. He wears glasses so he can see."
As he circled his eyes with his hands, they did the same. It was infuriating. O'Neill sighed to himself, cursing the language barrier.
"I guess the word dweeb doesn't mean anything to you guys?"
Blank stares were the only reply.
"I'm on planet X, looking for a dweeb who wears green fatigues. He wears this jacket, he's got long hair. It comes over his eyes, he wears glasses, and...sneezes."
They all sneezed, starting to enjoy the game....Jack was just about to give up, when light dawned behind Skaara's eyes. He suddenly started to make chicken noises.
"Chicken.....chicken man you got it!"
Skaara was a smart kid, Jack realised, a proud smile touching his lips. The smile broadened to a grin when the boy took the vest and carried it over to one of the beasts. It had to be the same one that had dragged Daniel here in the first place. After the animal had got the scent, Skaara opened the door to the pen. They all charged after the beast, Jack along with them. He managed to pick up Kowalski and Carter during the chase out of the city. A hurried conversation was all they managed before being led through a low door and into another group of ruins.
There were torches just inside the door, and Jack was pleased to see Skaara light several of them with the lighter. The passages were low and narrow, almost enough to make anyone claustrophobic. It didn't take Jack long to notice that there was something different about the walls. For the first time since arriving on this world, there was writing. Jack felt his heart grow a little lighter at the sight, even more so when he spotted Jackson and Share huddled against one of the walls. They were deep in conversation....
"I though you couldn't speak their language?" Jack snapped.
Jackson had clearly been preoccupied with Share, because he jumped several inches off of the ground when he heard Jack's voice.
"Hi...scared me...," he said, "it's an ancient Egyptian dialect. Unlike the rest of their culture, it's evolved independently. But once you know the vowels...."
"Just answer the question."
Jack's patience with this man was now running a little thin. Jackson should have reported back the second he had found out anything useful.
"Well, I mean I just had to learn to pronounce it. It hasn't been a living spoken language in more than 1000 years," Jackson explained. He then turned back towards the walls, indicating the symbols. Despite himself, Jack bent closer, listening to Daniel's voice ramble on.
"Look at this...it says a traveller from distant stars escaped from a dying world, looking for a way to extend his own life. His body decaying and weak he couldn't prevent his own demise. Apparently his whole species was becoming extinct. So he travelled or searched the galaxies, looking for a way to cheat death. And uh.....look here. He came to a world rich with life. Where he encountered a primitive race. Humans. A species which, with all his powers and knowledge he could maintain indefinitely. He realised within a human body he had a chance for new life. Now he apparently found a young boy. It says as the frightened villagers ran, night became day. Curious and without fear he walked towards the light. Ra took him and possessed his body. Like some kind of a parasite looking for a host. And inhabiting this human form he appointed himself ruler. He used the Stargate to bring people to this planet, as workers for the mines. Just like the one we saw. This mineral is the building block of all his technology. With this he can sustain eternal life. Now, something happened on Earth, a rebellion or uprising and the Stargate was buried there. Fearful of a rebellion here, Ra outlawed reading and writing. He didn't want people to remember the truth."
"Jackson, you'd better take a look at this."
Kowalski had clearly gotten bored with the explanation and had wandered away to explore the rest of the ruins. At the possibility of another find, Jackson was off again, following Kowalski into and adjoining chamber. Jack rolled his eyes at the younger man's enthusiasm, gaining himself a grin from Carter. In that moment, he realised that she had forgiven him for his earlier outburst.
"That's it, that's what we're looking for!" Jackson exclaimed, when he saw the cartouche. He pushed his way past everyone else, eager to start brushing the sand away from the carved stone.
"They must have hidden it here....in the hopes that one day the gate on Earth could be re-opened. I knew they'd have it written down someplace....wait a minute...where's the seventh symbol.? It must have broken...it's got to be here somewhere."
Before anyone had the chance to reply, Jackson had picked up another lump of stone.
"I got it here...."
He brushed frantically at the rock, turning it over and over in his hands. From his vantage point, Jack could see that there was no writing on the rock.
"It's worn off. I can't make it work without the seventh symbol," Jackson finished.
There was no symbol there....it was doubtful that there ever had been.
"All right that's it. Kowalski, Carter..."
Turning away, Jack led his disappointed team back into the desert.
***
Leaving the city was difficult. Sam couldn't help feeling that if they searched a little longer, they would still find the seventh symbol. It couldn't have been erased for all time...could it? Still orders were orders and she had the feeling that O'Neill was not a man to listen to another point of view....not in his present mood anyway. They were all disappointed but for there was something else behind the Colonel's grim expression.
Daniel was trailing behind the rest of them and he kept glancing back over his shoulder. In the shadow of the gate Sam noticed Share watching them leave. She looked like she'd wait forever.
"Come on Jackson!" Kowalski yelled.
Sam had never believed in love at first sight, but this had to be pretty close. Whatever bound these two people together, she couldn't even begin to understand. Her own record in relationships was so poor that she was couldn't comprehend loving someone she didn't even know. It would be like....be like...her falling for Colonel O'Neill!
The colonel was marching in front of them, setting a gruelling pace and Sam was glad she had kept up with her physical discipline during the time she had spent lab. bound. As they walked, Sam eyed O'Neill speculatively. He was good looking enough and in pretty good shape for a man who had supposedly come out of retirement.....which made her wonder how old he actually was, and why he had chosen to leave the service in the first place. She suspected it was all tied up in whatever had happened in between the last time Kowalski had met him and now.
Dawn broke as they marched across the sands. The night chill was quickly dispersed and, Sam found herself drenched in sweat once more. She pulled her hat out of her pocket and put it on, noting that O'Neill did the same. His T-shirt was adhering to his body, defining the outlines of his muscular back.....Sam mentally slapped herself and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. Now a little lust was understandable. There was nothing wrong with that....nothing at all.
"What the hell is that?" Kowalski exclaimed as they headed over the final dune.
Following O'Neill's lead Sam dropped to the ground, her mouth dropping open at the sight that met her eyes. The pyramid was gone...no make that covered, by something that could only be a space vessel. It was vast and she hated to think what branch of physics allowed it to fly. It would be way beyond anything that she understood.
"Here, You might need this."
Sam gave Daniel her handgun. It seemed a pretty pathetic gesture, given the size of the ship and what it could do to them....but Jackson gripped it firmly. Thanking her for giving him the chance to defend himself..
O'Neill got to his feet, snapping the safety off his own weapon. Their only way off of the planet lay inside that structure, not to mention their team mates. Sam recalled what Kowalski had said.....the Colonel wasn't about to leave anyone behind.
He led the way into the pyramid, Kowalski and Jackson following, Sam bringing up the rear. The first chamber was empty....some abandoned packing case showing that the rest of their team had been there at one time. Nothing challenged their entrance, but Sam couldn't help feeling that something was watching them. Perhaps it was her imagination, but the shadows seemed to be moving. It wasn't anything overt, just a hint of movement in the edge of her vision. Sam flattened herself against a pillar, glancing over at Kowalski who had done likewise. O'Neill moved into the centre of the chamber, and, bending down he picked something off the floor. From her vantage point, Sam could see the discarded shells. Whatever had happened, there had been a fight. For some reason that made her feel a little better.....knowing that her companions hadn't been taken without a fight.
It came from nowhere.
The shadow moved faster than anything she had ever experienced. She barely saw it, before her body was flung backwards, hitting the wall with a sickening thump. Sam put out her hand to break her fall only to have it collapse beneath her with an audible crack. She closed her eyes, fighting the wave of pain.
She had to get up again, she had to help.....there was gun fire, O'Neill was shouting. All the sounds rushed through her head as she finally passed out.
Later, Sam realised that the very fact she had been knocked unconcious saved her life. If she had shown any other signs of resistance she would have been killed. But when she came around the fact that she was still alive wasn't very reassuring. She was chest deep in ice cold water, Kowalski was holding her head up, slapping her face lightly.
"You OK?" he asked, seeing that her eyes were open.
"I guess," she replied.
The pit was dark, but a little light was filtering in through the grill above. Sam looked around, relieved to see Ferretti and Freeman shared the prison.
"Where's the Colonel?" she asked.
"Don't know," Kowalski replied.
There was little else to say. Sam slumped back against the wall, cradling her arm beneath the surface of the water. The pain was numbed slightly by the cold, but it still hurt like hell. She suspected it was broken. Had to be given the way it was hanging. Sam didn't mention that she was injured. It was the last thing any of them needed to know. If they did have a chance to escape she didn't want anyone thinking they had to jeopardise their chances by looking after her.
Her question regarding O'Neill was answered before much longer. The grill above them opened and he was flung though. He hit the water hard, only momentarily phased before he came up fighting. Kowalski had to grab his wrists before he hurt someone.
"Colonel it's me!" he said "Are you all right?"
The grate slid back into place, sealing them in once more.
"Where's Jackson?" Kowalski went on.
O'Neill didn't reply. His expression said it all. Daniel was dead, and with him their only chance of escaping this hell.
"We need to get out of here," he said. "Carter.... get on my shoulders, you should be able to reach that grating."
Sam was a little dubious, but she gamely did as he asked, wincing as she was forced to use her injured arm. Her hands were just about small enough to reach the through the bars, but try as she might, she couldn't shift the lock. She suspected that the mechanism wasn't as simple as it looked. Eventually, O'Neill got tired and had to let her drop. He didn't do it as carefully as he might have done and she jarred her hand as she hit the water. Sam couldn't help giving an exclamation of pain.
"What's wrong with your arm?" O'Neill immediately demanded.
"Just a little sore," Sam muttered.
"Let me look."
"No...sir..."
But he took her hand, gently feeling her fingers, then her wrist and arm. Sam yelped again.
"It's nothing!" Sam protested.
"It's broken, Captain!" he snapped back. "I'm going to have to set it. Brace yourself."
Sam closed her eyes, biting her lip against the pain she knew was coming. O'Neill sounded annoyed with her. He probably had every reason to be. She hadn't been able to free the lock, she'd managed to get herself injured. It seemed that she was a nothing but a burden.
"You OK?" O'Neill asked.
"Just do it....sir."
"OK, on three....one..two..."
Sam screamed.
"You said three!" she protested, when her capacity for speech returned.
"I never was very good at math," he returned, "Kowalski, lend the lady your shirt. I need something to bind this up with."
His expert fingers fashioned a bandage and a sling. By this time Sam knew she was going into shock and she was struggling to stay concious. To her surprise, she felt a pair of strong arms go about her shoulders. Careful not to knock her injury, O'Neill brought her body to rest against his. Sam struggled against him at first, but he calmed her almost immediately.
"Don't worry," he said, "we're all going to take turns."
Too tired and in too much pain to do anything else, Carter accepted his words. One of his hands was twined in her hair, soothing her as if she were a frightened child. Sam wondered if he had kids....he'd make a great dad. Despite the cold water, his body was warm, and it felt good to hear another heartbeat so close to her own.
***
Jack held the sleeping woman close, carefully supporting her injured arm. With an almost tender gesture, he brushed a lock of blonde hair from her face. It was the first time he had actually bothered to look at her, and what he saw was disturbing.....she was beautiful. Even with dirty hair, her pale skin covered in bruises....... It had been years since he'd taken this kind of notice of another woman. Sure he'd looked, what guy hadn't, but no one other than Sara had ever drawn his attention in this way.
It took Jack several moments to realise that Kowalski was watching him closely.
"Carter's pretty cute," he grinned.
"I'm married, Kowalski," Jack hissed back.
"Right....then tell me why you're looking at her as if you've had some kind of revelation?"
"Shut up."
"Just saying..."
"You like her so much, you hold onto her."
He shifted Carter's weight in his arms, meaning to turn her over to Kowalski's care, but a low moan stopped him. Automatically, Jack ran a soothing hand over her forehead. He then glared at Kowalski, daring the other man to comment.
As the night progressed, the water didn't get any warmer. Jack's legs were numb by the time Carter woke up. She looked a little confused to find him still holding her. Letting her go was more difficult than he expected, but she wouldn't have thanked him for making an issue of her injury.
"How you feeling?" Kowalski asked her.
"Fine," she replied.
She was lying. There was no way she would be fine given the fact she had an un-splinted broken arm and no pain killers.....thinking about it, she probably had a concussion as well, but it was too dark to get a good look at her eyes. The rest of the team hadn't fared much better. Jack suspected Freeman had a couple of broken ribs. He deliberately didn't think about Jackson. Over the years he had learnt to shut himself off from the world around him.... He prided himself on his ability to get his job done, however unpleasant it might be. Look after his people and to hell with anyone else....a good philosophy....even if it did seem to be falling apart around him. Despite his famed military detachment, he couldn't help feeling some kind of responsibility to the people who inhabited this planet.
It was dawn when they were finally dragged out of the pit. The guards pulled Carter out by her wrists, but she didn't make a sound. It wasn't because she wasn't hurting.....Jack could see the tears in her eyes, but she was never going to show their captors any sign of weakness.
"Sir, if you get a chance to escape.....," she began as they were pushed along a corridor
"Unacceptable, Captain," he snapped back.
"I'm only going to slow you down."
"No one gets left behind."
He glared at her, daring her to argue with him again.
"Sir..." she started only to have one of the guards notice that she had broken silence. A sharp blow across the face ensured that she got the message....no talking. Jack couldn't help wincing. Again she didn't cry out. She was tough, he'd give her that much.
They were taken outside, forced to stand on the ramp in front of the pyramid. A red carpet had been laid over the stones and a throne placed before the opening. As the sun rose high in the sky, people started to arrive. Hundreds, thousands of them....the entire population of the city had been called to witness their execution. Jack was pretty certain that Ra was going to kill them. He glanced at his team, trying to assess how they were bearing up. Freeman was clutching at his ribs, Ferretti couldn't stop shifting from foot to foot, Kowalski had his hands casually shoved in his pockets and Carter.....she was standing at attention, he eyes fixed straight ahead. Jack had the insane urge to crack a joke, just to see her smile one last time.
It was almost a relief when Ra finally made an appearance. The so called god's face was covered with an elaborate mask. He clearly didn't want his followers to see his real face, to show them that he was only a man. Jack laughed at himself....he'd had the chance to end this and he hadn't done it....he hadn't been able to kill those children. There were some men he knew who wouldn't have hesitated. Somehow, the very fact that he had stopped himself made him feel a little more human. If only he had been able to save Jackson......
Jackson....Jackson was walking up beside Ra.....alive and apparently well. That just wasn't possible ! Then he noticed the hole in Jackson's fatigue shirt. It was almost a relief to know that he hadn't been imagining things.....but if Ra had the power to bring people back from the dead....? The young man looked as if he was in some kind of daze. For a second, visions of zombies flashed through Jack's head. One of the guards handed Jackson a staff weapon and without hesitation he turned it on his fellow men. The crowd gave a collective gasp, holding it's breath, waiting for the killing shot.
It never came. Jack wasn't certain exactly what happened. He saw the flash of light that attracted Jackson's attention and the next thing he knew, the other man had turned his weapon on Ra. The next few moments were confusing. Jack was dragged into the crowd, a desert robe was flung over his shoulders and he was hurried away. The guards fired into the fleeing people, causing widespread panic, which only served to aid their escape. He didn't have time to see it the rest of his team were with him . Skaara...who was on his right side, kept pushing him onwards. Somewhere in the shouts and screams, he thought he heard Kowalski call out to Freeman, but there was no way to get back. From one glance at the crumpled form, Jack could tell that the man was dead.
No one came after them. With thousands of people milling about the desert, Ra's forces didn't know which group of peopel to chase. They weren't taken back to the city. Through the afternoon and part of the night they walked. The wind picked up again, flinging sand in their faces, making them fight for every step they took. Their eyes were almost useless, swollen shut again st the storm. Someone at his side stumbled. Jack immediately halted, groping about in the sand until he managed to pull whoever it was upright. To his surprise it was Jackson.
So Kowalski and Jackson had made it, what about Ferretti and Carter? Carter's injuries would have slowed her down....She was probably dead. Cold acceptance crept into Jack's heart. Two more men lost. He was the one who was supposed to die, not these kids!
The buildings weren't visible until they almost walked into them. Skaara ushered Jack inside, jabbering excitedly about something. The kid was buzzed, that much was certain, high on the adrenaline of the escape. Jack was just tired. He sank down on the ground, unable to do anything but watch as the native people bustled around, building fires, preparing food. They all seemed to share Skaara's excitement. All Jack could think of was how young they all seemed. The kids should be out playing, not fighting. He sat up, looking around for his own people.
To his right he saw Kowalski and, to his relief, Ferretti. Jackson was sitting with Share and....a flash of blonde hair as the hood of a desert robe was pushed back....Carter. She caught Jack's eye and smiled at him, but before he could respond Skaara came up to him, waving an automatic weapons in his face.
"What do you think, Colonel?" Kowalski grinned. "They may not be special forces but they seem real eager to enlist."
Jack lost it. How the hell could Kowalski think that these kids should be given weapons?
"Take the guns away from them before they hurt themselves!" He yelled.
To illustrate his point, Jack snatched the gun from Skaara, ignoring the boy's disappointment.
"Come again, sir?"
Didn't Kowalksi understand? Didn't he know what would happen? Kids and guns....no way, no how....Jack wasn't going to let it happen.
"You heard me. Send 'em home," Jack went on.
"There isn't anywhere for them to go," Kowalski answered. "Besides, we could sure use their help."
At the back of his mind, Jack knew that the other man was right. These kids had risked everything to save them. If they went back now, at best they'd face execution, at worst....
"For what? To do what?" Jack demanded.
"Why don't you tell them the truth?" Jackson said, quietly, "Why don't you tell them about the bomb?"
"What's he talking about?" Kowalski demanded.
Jack was too angry to hold back the information.
"My orders were simple. I was to stay behind and look for any signs of possible danger to Earth. If I found any I was supposed to blow up the Stargate. Well, guess what? I found some."
"Why wasn't I told?" Kowalski challenged.
"It was strictly need to know."
"Need to know! Didn't you think this was something I damn well needed to know?"
Yeah, right. If Kowalksi had known he would have tried to stop Jack from blowing himself up....or got himself killed.
"None of you were supposed to be here! You were all supposed to go back through the 'Gate with Jackson!"
"And this great plan of yours would leave you here with a nuclear weapon? Well it's his now, and tomorrow he's going to send it back through the 'gate with a shipment of that mineral they mine here. apparently when the bomb goes off it will detonate and cause an explosion a hundred times more powerful than that bomb alone is capable of," Jackson interrupted.
"He told you this?"
Jack's resolve failed a little. The stakes had suddenly been increased and he didn't like the picture Jackson was painting. There still had to be a way to use the bomb to stop Ra.
"Yes," Daniel answered.
"Fine...I'll intercept the bomb before it can go through."
"Jack listen to me. It's the other 'gate, the one on Earth that poses the threat. Think about it. As long as that one is functional, he'll always have access. That's the one we have to shut down."
"You're right," Jack snapped back, "but thanks to you, we don't have that option, do we?"
Jack was coiled tighter than he ever had been. He wanted to hit something, someone....Kowalski, Jackson...anyone would do. Both of them were standing in front of him, anger plainly written on their faces. He took a step towards Kowalksi....but as he did so, Carter groaned, capturing Jack's attention.
He backed away from Kowalksi, "See if these kids salvaged anything of value," he ordered, "and Carter needs the med. kit."
Unable to deal with the accusatory stares any longer, Jack walked out. He knew why Carter had chosen that moment to make a noise. Anyone who could remain silent under intense pain for as long as she had wasn't going to cry out without meaning to. In some ways he was grateful to her. It wouldn't have done him any good to get into a fight with one of his junior officers....and he had been close....very close to punching Kowalski's lights out....and Jackson probably would have been next. Carter, it seemed, could read him like a book.
Jack found a quiet place in another room and dropped to the ground, relieved to be on his own. He thought they'd leave him alone, he thought that no one would want to speak to him, but it was only half an hour before Jackson came to find him.
"Don't you have people who care about you?" he asked. "Don't you have a family?"
Jack didn't reply. He stared straight ahead, his heart hollow and empty. No there wasn't anyone....not even Sara would morn his passing. She'd be relieved that she didn't have to put up with him anymore.
"Jack, I don't want to die, your men don't want to die....why are you in such a hurry to?"
"No one should ever have to out live their own child!"
There! Jackson knew the truth! Jack braced himself for the platitudes that he was certain would follow.....waiting for the excuse to turn and fight....but the other man didn't respond. He just nodded, then turned and walked away. Jack's body slumped, all the anger draining out of him. He just felt tired, so damn tired.
As Jackson left Skaara crept up to his side, placing a bowl of food by his feet. Jack waved him away, but accepted the gift. He wasn't about to hurt the boy any more than he had done.
"Good soup?"
Jack turned around to see Carter standing behind him. It looked like everyone was going to pay him a visit. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone? He didn't answer, but his silence didn't seem to bother Carter. Moving a little awkwardly she sat down beside him.
"What happened?" she asked, gently.
"'bout what?" he replied, knowing full well what she was asking.
"I'm sorry.....but I heard what you said to Daniel."
"I don't need your pity, Captain."
"I.....I...thought you might want to talk."
"To you?"
"Pretty stupid idea, huh?"
He spooned more of the soup into his mouth, ignoring Carter, hoping she'd go away. Unfortunately she seemed to have a stubborn streak a mile wide and stayed exactly where she was.
"Go back to the others," he told her, "You'll get cold if you stay here."
"I'm fine."
With her good hand, she reached out to him, wrapping her fingers around his. Her hand felt very small and warm...and good. Sara hadn't touched him that way in so long. She was still so damn angry with him, and who could blame her? Jack had forgotten how much the touch of another human could affect him. Why Carter? Why was she doing this? He found himself staring into her eyes, trying to determine her reasons. It was a mistake, they were the most bluest, most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. In her eyes he saw hope, he saw a future.
***
"He's gone," Sara said.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry," Jenny Cromwell replied, reaching out to squeeze her friend's hand.
"I mean I knew it would happen but....God, I don't know what to do."
"Get out of that house for a start. Why don't you come to stay with me and Frank?"
Sara shifted uncomfortably. She knew Jenny's offer was sincere, but if Jack did come back what would he do if s he was staying with the Cromwell's? Jack and Frank hadn't spoken since they had both been stationed in the Gulf. Sara didn't know the exact reasons why. It was another of those things that Jack had refused to tell her.
"What about your Dad?" Jenny went on.
"I know what he's going to say."
"You have to look after yourself now, Sara. Do what's best for you....or you'll drive yourself as crazy."
"Like Jack did?"
"If you want me to be honest....yes. Have you considered the fact that you may be better off without him."
"It's hard, we've been together so long. I thought we could survive anything."
~~~
He was lying on the bed, restrained. His head lolled to one side, his eyes staring into the distance. The sight was enough to break her heart. Sara had waited forever to see him and now....
"Talk to him," the doctor advised.
"Can he hear me?" Sara asked.
"We think so."
"You think so?"
The doctor just shrugged and moved away, leaving Sara alone with her husband. What the hell had they done to him? He was so heavily sedated he didn't even recognise her. She touched his face....only to have him turn his head away.
"Jack, it's me," she whispered. "I'm here, honey. I'm not going to hurt you."
He'd been missing for four months.
When the call had come, Sara had refused to believe that he was gone. She'd been on the receiving end of similar calls and Jack had always turned up a few days later...usually with a few broken bones but nothing worse....and now this.
She was glad Jack's body was covered. From what the doctors had told her there was evidence that he had been tortured. It made her sick just thinking about it. What was she supposed to do? This wasn't her husband....it was just an empty shell and she had no idea how to get him back.
~~~~
"Sara?" Jenny asked.
"Nothing, I was just thinking...about...you know?"
"Iraq? You know Frank still blames himself."
"Yeah.....It was Charlie that snapped Jack out of it. This time...I guess he didn't have anyone."
Sara felt like a failure. She hadn't been able to help Jack back then just as she had been unable to stop him taking this last mission. And it would be his last mission, that much she was sure of. Why else would the airforce recall a tired, burnt out Colonel who had a death wish? She hadn't expected to miss him this much. Jenny was right. Staying in that house was a mistake. There were too many memories waiting to trip her at every turn.
"I'll help you pack," Jenny offered.
"Thanks......could you do it now?"
"Sure."
~~~~
"What's wrong with Dad?" Charlie demanded.
"He's just a little sad," Sara explained.
The boy looked at his father, refusing to understand. He was only ten years old......How could he? How could he even comprehend that another human being had done this? Sara had never explained exactly what had happened. As far as Charlie was concerned, his dad had been on a mission all these months...something to could brag about to his friends.
In some ways Jack looked better. They'd cleaned him up, shaved him, made him sit in a chair. He almost seemed sane. Sitting up, staring out of the window....it was only on close observation one realised he wasn't moving, that his eyes stayed fixed on a point in the middle distance and didn't falter.
"Can I talk to him?" Charlie asked.
"Sure you can."
Sara wondered if it had been a mistake bringing the boy here. He didn't need to see his father in this condition...but she didn't know what else she could do. She was at her wits end, Jack just wasn't responding to anything. Bringing Charlie here was the last resort. If he didn't take notice of his son, she realised that her husband was lost.
"Dad?" Charlie began. He looked back at Sara, silently asking for her to take him away from the man who used to be his father. It hurt, but she made no move.
"Go on," she encouraged him. "Tell him about school."
Charlie nodded, and started to speak. The boy's voice droned on and on as he told his father every detail of his last few months. At first it looked as if Charlie was having no effect...but Jack's eyes were changing their focus. Slowly, but it was happening. Sara held her breath as her husband reached out towards his son.
***
Sam didn't know what she was doing here. Sitting with her commanding officer, holding his hand! She had to be crazy, didn't she?
Something about this man called out to her. He seemed so cold, so alone. His pain was almost tangible. Sam knew she was treading on dangerous ground.....but that had never stopped her before.
"What happened?" she asked again.
This time there was only a flicker of coldness. He exhaled, sharply, gulping air as if he was going to cry. Sam squeezed the hand she still held.
"My son...Charlie....shot himself...with my gun."
"Oh my God!"
"Sara only let him out of her sight for a second...he must have gone straight to our room and....I only kept the gun in the house for her....I was away so much."
He couldn't say any more. From the look on his face, he didn't know why he was saying anything at all. His eyes were screwed tightly shut, at first Sam thought he was crying, but there were no tears glistening on his cheeks.
"And you just wanted to die too," Sam whispered.
O'Neill stared at her, but Sam hardly noticed. She was thinking of another day....a day when her father had come home crying.
"Still do," he admitted.
"That's why they asked you to take this mission....because you're suicidal?"
"Welcome to the USAF, Captain."
"It's horrible."
"I've done worse."
The smile he offered wasn't pleasant.
"I wanted to die once," Sam heard herself admit. "I locked myself in my room with my Dad's razor. Held it to my wrists for almost an hour....You know I just kept looking at it and looking at it....."
"If this is a plea for sympathy.....?"
"When my Dad got home I said I been chopping vegetables and the knife slipped."
Sam shrugged, not really caring if he believed her or not. He gently took her good hand and turned it over so her wrist faced upwards. The evidence was there, barely visible. She felt the tears start in her eyes. This was the first time she'd acknowledged her momentary weakness to anyone....and it was to a man she barely knew.
"Why didn't you?" he asked.
"Because I was scared, I guess.....you?"
"I didn't want to hurt Sara by doing it in her house...in Charlie's room. I didn't want her to know that I was a coward. So I thought I'd let the Airforce do it for me...."
His eyes were locked with hers and despite herself Sam couldn't turn away. His other hand was coming up to cup her face, drawing her closer. It was the purest, sweetest, most innocent kiss....over before it had even really begun. The gesture had touched something within her own soul, a need for physical contact that she'd almost been unaware of. If she leant forward, just a little bit, she could.....
"I'm s...sorry," he stammered. "I shouldn't have....I'm married."
"I shouldn't have....you're my commanding officer," she said at the same moment.
Then he smiled. He looked beautiful when he smiled and Sam couldn't help returning the expression. She lowered her eyes as her cheeks flushed red.
"I don't want you to die, sir," she murmured. "I won't let you die."
"You saying you'll miss me, Carter?"
Sam laughed, she knew he was joking....but in a weird sort of way.....She felt connected to this man in a way she didn't understand. His face, his eyes, his hands...it was like she already knew him intimately. The kiss had only confirmed those feelings. The way his hand had rested briefly on her cheek, burning her skin. His lips, so soft, so gentle.....
"Then you're the only one," he finished.
"What about your wife?"
"It'd be a relief."
He honestly believed that. She could tell by the slump of his shoulders, the way he scrambled in his pockets, trying to find his cigarettes. Sam noticed the pack on the floor and handed them to him.....but Skaara had his lighter making smoking an exercise in futility. He gave up, settling back to wait out the night. By now, Sam knew him well enough to realise that he was going to help these people. Afterwards.....she wasn't sure. Perhaps she might mention something to someone....get somebody to keep an eye on him. Not that he'd welcome the interference, but she couldn't just sit by and watch him destroy himself. No doubt her Dad would have a few choice words to say about interfering in something that wasn't her concern, but that was probably the reason she did it. Just to show that he hadn't managed to suppress every scrap of his daughter's compassion. Not that her wounded animal complex hadn't got her into trouble before....Jonas Hanson being a case in point, but she didn't think that O'Neill was quite that psychotic. Besides, she wasn't about to start sleeping with him.
That thought was slightly redundant by the time she awoke the following morning. The first thing she noticed was the pain in her arm, the second was the heavy body draped across her. Sam squirmed a little, trying to shift out of his grasp. O'Neill was still asleep, and however good having him close might feel, Sam knew she had to wake him up. She couldn't allow anyone to find them like this.
"Sir," she began.
"No...Sara...," he mumbled. "Been too long....please...."
Sara....his wife's name. His sleepy voice sounded so lost and hurt that it was all Sam could do to keep the tears from her eyes.
"No sir, it's Captain Carter," she said as gently as she could.
"Carter?"
He opened his eyes at that point, scrambling away from her. As soon as she could, Sam sprung away from him, jolting her arm as she did so.
"Sorry," he apologised.
"'s okay," Sam replied through gritted teeth.
"Go and find Kowalski....get some more pain killers."
"Yes, sir."
Sam hurried away, giving O'Neill the time he needed to regain his composure. There seemed to be an implicit understanding.....he wouldn't mention the little breech in protocol if she didn't....which was absolutely fine.
Absolutley.
Fine.
***
Jack had to get real close to the fire in order to light his morning cigarette. His hands were shaking, but he managed to get a light.
The memories of the previous night were stark and painful. Jackson's accusation, the argument with Kowalski....Carter....God, they'd worn him down until he was little more than a wreck, willing to spill his guts to anyone. Carter....she sat there and held his hand.....she'd kissed him.....slept at his side.....All those things that he's wanted so badly from his wife.
He looked across to where Carter was getting her arm re-splinted. She glanced at him, colouring a little, offering him a sympathetic smile. O'Neill exhaled in relief. They were going to be OK. She wasn't going to make an issue of his momentary lapse in protocol.
Jack sat back, enjoying the burn of nicotine in his lungs. To one side of him Skaara was happily drawing on the cave wall, on the other, Jackson and Share were involved in some whispered conversation. No points for guessing what they had been doing. Good for Daniel. At least someone was getting something out of this trip. Although fraternising with the natives wasn't what he would usually recommend, Jack knew he couldn't bring the young man to task over it. At least Jackson seemed genuinely fond of Share. Jack found himself catching Carter's eye again....watching that delicious blush creep over her features once more.
His attention diverted, he didn't notice Daniel leap towards Skaara.
"The point of origin!" he yelled.
"Jackson, what are you doing?" Kowalski demanded.
"Three moons over a pyramid!"
"That symbol was on the Stargate," Carter added. "I remember seeing it."
"Exactly...It's the seventh symbol.....We're going home!"
The natives had no idea what Daniel was talking about, but they understood his enthusiasm. Breakfast had an air of celebration.
Home.
Home. Sara. Charlie......
Jack wasn't certain he wanted to face that reality, but he didn't really have a choice. His team wanted to go and he wouldn't deny them the opportunity. Besides the news had put that smile back on Carter's face....the one he was learning to.....like a lot.
But first he had to get the rest of these people on his side and show them what they were really facing. They had to stop believing that they were facing gods. Okay, so maybe Ra had some kind of enhanced ability but the rest of them were only men.....and men could be defeated. Jack smiled to himself.
Kowalski had been right. These kids deserved to fight for their planet. They weren't like Charlie. In a way they weren't even kids...not really. Skaara had probably been working in the mines since he had been a small child. If Daniel and Kowalski treated him like an adult it was time that Jack did the same. He couldn't judge this civilisation by his own standards.
He stood up, crushing out his cigarette. Everyone's attention turned towards him....for perhaps the first time since this mission had began, Jack O'Neill felt like he was in control.
"OK kids," he announced, "this is what we're going to do.....?"
***
They left their hiding place in the early hours. Dressed in desert robes, the earth travellers were almost indistinguishable from the natives. Jack had wanted Carter to stay behind, but she'd refused.....very vocally. He was keeping an eye on her though, making certain that her injury wasn't going to slow them down.
The rest of the population were already digging by the time Jack's team arrived. But there were no guards....not yet. They didn't show up until the sun was high in the sky.
It was back-breaking work. How anybody lasted more than a day here....? When Jack collapsed in front of one of the guards, his heat exhaustion wasn't entirely feigned. The Horus guard yelled at him, no doubt telling him to get back to work. Jack took no notice. He needed the man to get a little closer. His wish was granted....but not before the guard had used his whip across Jack's back, cutting through the fabric of his robe. It wasn't the first time he had experienced this kind of pain and he was, for the most part, able to push it to the back of his consciousness.
Flipping nimbly onto his back, Jack pulled a staff weapon from under one of the carts. He rolled onto his feet bringing the weapon to bear. At the same time several of the surrounding workers pulled automatic weapons from beneath their robes and trained them on the guard. Without a flicker of emotion showing on his face, Jack shot the man at point blank range.
Then it all got a little confusing. Kasuf was screaming at Skaara. The boy was shouting back his defiance. Upon seeing the death of one of their gods, the workers were dropping to their knees, wailing in misery..... No doubt thinking of the revenge Ra would reek. It was Daniel who broke through the panic. He yelled something in the local dialect, silencing the crowd. The archaeologist then turned his attention to the felled guard. Fumbling a little, he ran his fingers around the helmet, finding the mechanism that caused it to draw back. He then shouted something else....showing them that this was no more than a man.
An excited chatter broke through the silence. It was an amazing moment as the illusion of slavery was finally broken.
***
Sam couldn't keep the grin off of her face as they slogged back towards the pyramid. O'Neill and Skaara were riding atop one of the carts, deep in conversation. From what she could see they were discussing strategy....communicating in ways that Sam couldn't begin to comprehend. Neither of them knew enough of the other's language to speak of such things but somehow they were making sense....if only to each other. The sight warmed her heart. She had the feeling that this was Jack O'Neill as she had been meant to see him. He wasn't the same man she had met in the commissary barely three days ago.
"Carter, you're with me. Kowalski, Ferretti, stay out here and watch our backs. Daniel, you and Share come with us...we may need you to talk to these guys," O'Neill ordered.
He clapped Skaara on the shoulder and threw a wink at Sam, before starting up the ramp. The small party followed him, dragging along a cart of the mineral. Inside, they were met by a team of Horus guards. Sam felt a tiny thrill of fear as they faced the enemy. She grasped the weapon she held beneath her robe, praying that this would work. Ra would be expecting the mineral. With any luck they would get right inside before he realised what was happening.
But something must have alerted the guards. One of them stepped forward, tearing the hood from one of the natives. Sam held her breath, keeping her head down....with her blonde hair and blue eyes there wasn't a chance in hell that anyone would think she was born on this world. She was beginning to think she should have stayed outside with the others. The guard moved on, pulling down another hood. O'Neill was the next in line. She saw him tense, readying himself for what was to come. Sam could only do the same. When he moved so would she.
O'Neill grinned as he was unmasked, hitting the guard with the butt of his rifle. Gunfire erupted in the chamber. Unable to steady her weapon, Sam knew that she didn't have a chance of hitting anything. Beside her one of the kids fell, the victim of a staff weapon blast. She didn't have time to check if he was alive or dead. The chamber was closing....A great stone slab was sliding into place, trapping them inside. Without Kowalksi's backup, they were as good as dead, but Sam kept firing. O'Neill had abandoned his automatic weapon and was using the staff....the alien technology seemingly familiar to him. He was strangely graceful as he took out the last of the guards, freeing their path towards the Stargate.
The stone walls trembled. Above them, from the bowels of the alien ship, the death-gliders were being launched. Sam's first instinct was to rush back and help her comrades, but she knew there was no way she was could get outside.
"Let's go!" O'Neill yelled.
He set off towards the 'gate and Sam hurried after him.
The bomb was standing in front of the Stargate. O'Neill knelt down before it, his fingers certain as he engaged the firing mechanism.
"What are you doing?" Daniel demanded, as he and Share caught up.
"Completing this mission," O'Neill snapped back.
"But I thought we agreed to dismantle the gate on the other side?"
The Colonel's expression softened slightly,
"We will. That's your job now. I'm going to stay here and make sure this goes off. "
Sam knew that he was speaking to her as well as to Daniel. He needn't have worried. She wasn't about to stop him. This was no longer a bid for suicide, O'Neill was doing his duty. With a smooth click he activated the device.
"You've got seven minutes," he told them.
Attention riveted on O'Neill, none of them noticed the approach of the Horus guard.
"Daniel!" Share screamed.
Spinning around, they were too late to stop the guard firing. Share collapsed, the gun she had been carrying clattering to the ground. It was Daniel who moved first. His hands were a blur as he reached for O'Neill's discarded staff weapon, blowing the guard away in one smooth movement.
Daniel rushed the woman's side, anxiously checking her vital signs, but Sam knew he was too late. She didn't dare look at O'Neill. Before she could offer any words of condolence another sound filled the chamber. A light descended from the ceiling and Sam took an involuntary step back as the transport rings activated. Daniel scooped Share up in his arms and carried her towards the light.
"What are you doing?" O'Neill snapped.
The grief stricken man didn't reply.
"Jackson?"
"Wait for me, " Daniel answered as he and Share vanished.
As they disappeared another figure took their place....another Horus guard. This one was different. His helmet was more ornate and on his hand he wore a gauntlet adorned with wicked looking claws. On the back of the metal glove sat a blue jewel, which he had used to activate the rings. Sam raised her gun and fired.....only to see her shot bounce harmlessly off of one of the rings.
"Colonel!" she yelled, begging him to move to a safer distance.
But the guard moved too quickly. Before she could squeeze off another round, O'Neill was locked in combat. The other man was fearfully strong. He had the Colonel about the throat, making Sam hesitate.
The guard's armour didn't cover his whole body and O'Neill managed to jab his elbow into sensitive flesh. He twisted free, allowing Sam to shoot again. She let out a yell as she was forced to use her injured arm....but she had to make this shot count.
The guard fell backwards, landing with a metallic thump.
"You OK?" O'Neill panted.
"Yeah...you?"
"Yeah."
They looked at each other, silent for a few seconds, before O'Neill turned his attention back to the bomb. Four minutes left.
"How long do you think Daniel's going to be?" Sam asked.
"All I know is that before....one minute Daniel was dead then he wasn't. I didn't see what happened, but Ra must have some box of tricks up in that ship."
"Do you think he can save Share?"
"I hope so."
The movement was so slight that she barely saw it. One second she was talking to O'Neill, the next she was pushing him out of the way as the Horus guard raised the gun Share had dropped......
"Jack!"
He felt the body hit his chest. Carter wasn't a particularly big woman, but there was a lot of momentum behind the push. His face made contact with the stone floor, knocking a couple of teeth loose. Jack was about to complain when he heard the gun discharge. Sam's body landed on top of his....limp and terrifyingly lifeless.
"Carter! God no!" he heard himself yell.
All the anger he had been suppressing in his heart suddenly flared to the surface. For two years, he had kept that rage restrained, refusing to give into it, refusing to let it control him. The effort had nearly driven him to destruction. No more. With a scream drawn from the depths of his soul, he hurled himself at the guard. The other man was stronger, but Jack had fury on his side. He was about to stop until one of them was dead.
Jack was no longer capable of feeling pain. The clawed gauntlet reeked havoc on his back and limbs, but he barely noticed. Step by step he was driving the guard backwards. After dealing one particularly savage blow, he found himself lunging towards the bomb, now frantically trying to disengage the mechanism. The guard dragged him back again.
His body was starting to tire, but he had one last shot......Going in low, he drove the other man back towards the transport rings. As the guard tripped over his own feet, falling backwards, Jack drove his foot down on the gauntlet, activating the rings.
"Give my regards to King Tut asshole!"
The rings descended, Jack holding the guard in place until the last second, rolling away before his own head became disattached from his body. He lay back on the floor, his breath coming in ragged gasps. The light faded, revealing Daniel....a living, breathing woman in his arms. Jack gave a gulp. Carter was still lying where she had fallen, her body twisted and crumpled. Shakily, he moved to her side.
Very gently, Daniel laid Share down.
"What happened?" he said.
"She saved my life."
Jack brushed blonde hair from her face. He didn't dare to check for a pulse. Above him Ra's ship was launching, but it would have taken more than a slight earthquake to disturb his contemplation of Carter's still, beautiful, face.
"How much longer?" Daniel asked.
"What?"
"The bomb."
Leaving Sam, Jack returned to the bomb, pulling out the key to disarm it.
"Jack!"
"I know, Daniel! They must have rigged it somehow."
The countdown hadn't stopped. Jack looked towards the transport rings, then back at Daniel....
"I've got an idea!" they said in tandem.
"Wait a second..." Daniel started to protest.
"Daniel...!"
"If we destroy the ship we won't be able to save Sam."
"We haven't got time to do anything else....Sam....Sam would understand."
Jack truly believed that. Destroying Ra would be more important to this woman than saving her own life. He didn't give a damn what Daniel thought. Together they moved the bomb into position and activated the rings.
His task completed, Jack allowed himself to return to Sam's side. To his intense relief, his trembling fingers found signs of life. He carefully picked her up in his arms and carried her outside. Daniel and Share followed, not saying a word.
The stone no longer blocked the passage and they were free to leave. In the sky the last remnants of Ra's ship were flaming into non-existence. All Jack was aware of was the woman who lay in his arms, still breathing, her heart still beating.....
He barely heard the cheers and yells of a people who suddenly found themselves free.
***
The room was lit by a single torch. A small fire burnt in one corner, filling the room with a fragrance. She could hear faint sounds of music, people cheering, laughter.
Sam shifted on the bed. Nothing seemed to hurt, but she wasn't sure of the reasons why. She remembered her arm being broken, being shot....so why wasn't she in more pain. Just to test her theory, she attempted to get up....only to have a pair of strong hands gently push her back down onto the mattress.
"Not so fast," O'Neill admonished.
"Thirsty..." she managed to say.
"Here."
He slid one hand around the back of her neck, lifting her head so she could drink the water he offered. She would have gulped it all down, but O'Neill wouldn't let her. He made certain she only took small sips.
"Where am I?" she asked.
"Back in the city. They've given you something to help with the pain. You're probably going to feel a little woozy for a while."
Sam nodded her head, closing her eyes once more. When she opened them again, she instinctively knew that it was later. The sounds of the people had faded.
"Colonel?" she called out.
"I'm here."
"Cold."
Another blanket was tucked around her body.
"Try and get some more sleep."
"Yes'ir."
He laid a hand on her forehead. She liked his hands....they were very soothing. In her bemused state, she started to imagine those hands wandering to other parts of her body.
"Sir?"
"Yeah."
"You going to sleep at all?"
"Maybe."
It was Kowalski.
"I could stay with her...."
"That won't be necessary."
"Jack...."
"I said no! For cryin' out loud Charlie she saved my life. It's the least I can do."
"Not to mention the fact that we need her to get that damn gate working again."
The gate? That must be why she was still here and not in the base infirmary. What was wrong with it? Were Daniel's co-ordinates wrong? While the two men were talking, Sam managed to pull herself upright.
"What about the 'gate?" she demanded.
"I thought I told you to sleep," O'Neill warned.
Ignoring O'Neill completely, Sam spoke directly to the other man.
"Kowalski, what happened to the 'gate?"
"Hey!"
"You think any of us have any idea?" Kowalski added. "C'mon, Carter I thought you were supposed to be smart?"
Sam swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood. She swayed a little and O'Neill grabbed her arms.
"Get back in that bed, Captain....and that's an order. "
"No sir!"
"No sir?"
"I can fix the 'gate, sir."
"I'm certain you can, but it's the equivalent of 3 AM. It can wait until the morning."
"3 AM?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
He helped her sit down again, pushing her back onto the pillows. Then he took the blanket and tucked her in again. Kowalksi watched the whole exchange with a smirk on his face, as if he knew some great secret but wasn't going to let on. Sam was too tired to try and work out what it was. When she next looked, the other man was gone and she was alone with her commanding officer.
"It was a damn stupid thing you did," O'Neill muttered
"I told you I wasn't going to let you die, sir," Sam replied.
"Well.....thanks....and Captain?"
"Yessir?"
"If you argue with one of my orders again, I'm going to whip your butt. I don't care how cute it is."
"You think I have a cute butt?"
"See you in the morning."
Sam fell asleep with a smile on her face.
***
The colonel was as good as his word. When she awoke the next morning she was taken to the Stargate. Daniel Jackson was already there, with Sha're. The man had a very bemused expression on his face....giving Sam a pretty good idea of what he had been doing last night....and on the previous three nights if O'Neill was to be believed. Sam had been out of it longer than she'd thought. She was still in a considerable amount of pain. Hardly surprising given the extent of her injuries. She had been lucky. The bullet she had taken had not caused any serious damage...although she was probably looking at a long stretch of medical leave when the got back...if they got back.
"I think this is what they use to control it," Daniel was saying, pointing to a circular device. "The symbols match the ones on the gate, so I'm guessing that you just dial 'em up."
"But it's not working."
"No."
Sam examined the device. She'd never seen anything like it. If one of these had been found at the Giza dig, the Earth 'gate would probably have been activated a lot sooner."
"So can you fix it?" Ferretti demanded.
His tone was reminiscent of the one he'd used when talking to Daniel, back when they'd first arrived. Sam allowed herself a small smile.
"Yes...I can," she replied. "The 'gate is like a giant super conductor. All we need is a power source...."
She looked about...power source...easier said than done, given the level of technology here. Her gaze fell on their equipment...which was still scattered around the base of the 'gate. FRED had a battery, but whether it could provide enough power. Whatever...it was worth a try. Since her hand was still out of action, Sam stood back and gave orders. She had Ferretti and Kowalski strip down the dialling device, then had them connect FRED's battery.
O'Neill watched the activity with a small smile on his face.
"This might take a while," she warned. "The gate's conductors have to charge before we can use it."
"It's OK," he told her.
Unable to stay on her feet any longer Sam found herself sliding down the nearest wall.
"Carter? You OK?" O'Neill asked.
"I think so."
"Look, this is probably the wrong time to mention this, but Daniel won't be coming back with us."
Sam looked over to where the archaeologist was standing with Sha're. She couldn't say she was surprised.
"General West's not going to be very happy about that," she said.
"I know. That's why we're not going to tell him."
"Sir? Are you asking what I think you're asking?"
"Yes, Captain."
"Falsify the report...!"
"You know what will happen if we tell the General what really went on here. It won't matter that Ra is dead. They'll see the 'gate here as a threat and send another bomb through. We can't let that happen."
Sam bit her lip. She really wasn't sure about this. If anyone found out.....but on the other hand she did trust O'Neill's judgement up to a point. He was probably right about what would happen.
"Sir, what if they try to re-establish contact. If the 'gate here is still working, they'll know we lied," she questioned.
"I figure we get Daniel to bury it. That's what the ancient Egyptians did and it seemed to work."
"It would certainly stop matter re-integrating."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"Just think about it, OK?"
"OK."
He'd put her in a very difficult position. Not that she wasn't pleased that he trusted her enough to ask, but it would be hard. They'd really have to get their stories straight.
"I think it's working!" Ferretti announced, pointing to the gate.
The chevrons were glowing. O'Neill eased an arm under Sam's shoulders and helped her up.
"Way to go Sam!" Kowalski grinned.
"You're turn Daniel," O'Neill said.
Stepping forward, Jackson punched in the symbols.
"Keep away from the kawoosh," Sam advised.
"Why?" Daniel asked.
"It'll disintegrate anything it touches."
"Oh."
"Kawoosh?" O'Neill asked.
"It's a technical term, sir."
She grinned at him.
"Let's go home," he replied, quietly.
***
The return was confusing. Years later Jack only saw the day in flashes. The Gate activating. Daniel saying goodbye....
No one had expected them to return. That much was evident the second they got back. Teams of men sprung from nowhere, dressed in radiation suits, waving detectors. It was all Jack could do to make his voice heard. Carter had been shaken up badly by the trip. She slumped on the ramp, finally giving up the fight for consciousness. It was ten minutes before the med. teams manage to fight there way through to her. She was whisked in one direction whilst Jack, Ferretti and Kowalski were taken in another.
He'd backed off on the reporting issue, not wanting to push her into breaking the regulations. Ferretti and Kowalski had already agreed. They wouldn't tell anyone without his express order. Carter was different. She wasn't special forces, and he wondered if she really understood the unwritten code which existed between the men.
The debriefing was long and....boring...there was no other word for it. Jack didn't pay attention to anything that wasn't directly related to him. He was wondering what Sara was doing. There was so much to say to her, he didn't know where to start. Going home was going to be sweet. He'd get her some flowers, cook her a meal and tell her....what? That he was sorry? That he wanted to try again? It didn't really matter. He hoped the words would come to him when he saw her again. In some ways he wished she was here right now. There was so much in his life that he hadn't been able to tell her about and all this would just have to be another secret.
After a medical examination, and several needles in his butt, he was finally allowed to go home. He dropped in to see Carter before he left, but she had already been moved to the airforce hospital. The medical facilities in Cheyenne Mountain were basic at best. After all it was only supposed to be a research facility. No matter, he'd stop by another time...after he'd seen Sara.
Stepping outside the mountain, he was surprised by how green everything looked. After a week of seeing nothing but sand, his home planet looked......beautiful. He'd never really appreciated that fact before. Funny how being catapulted to the far end of the universe changed your perspective. He took the drive home slowly, not in any hurry, planning how he was going to greet his wife.
The house was just as he'd left it. Nothing had really altered in the two years since Charlie had died. His sons toys still littered the yard....that was one thing that had to change. It wasn't like he wanted to forget, but having all this stuff around wasn't going to help. Maybe they should move house....find somewhere where the ghost of Charlie wasn't hanging around every corner. If he closed his eyes, Jack could still hear the laughter. He fought the wave of melancholy. It wasn't going to defeat him. Not again.
"Sara!" he called out as he entered the house.
There was no reply. Jack wandered through the rooms, calling her name.
"Sara!"
It was early, maybe she wasn't home yet. Jack went to the fridge and found himself a beer. He hadn't managed to get any flowers, but he could still make her dinner. He wasn't a great cook, but anyone could whip up pasta sauce. If Sara had had a long day she'd really appreciate food being on the table when she got in. Her working had seen them through the years when he had been unable to. Well, that was all about to change. He still hadn't decided quite what he was going to do yet, but he wasn't going to be so dependent on his wife, that much was certain. Call him an old fashioned guy.
Whistling to himself, he started to chop onions and crush garlic. There were tomatoes in the fridge, herbs...it had been a long time since he'd done this and it gave him an absurdly good feeling. Jack had to go out to the store to buy pasta and he also picked up a bottle of wine. He added a good slug of it to the sauce before pouring a couple of glasses and setting them on the table. Everything was going to be perfect. Going to the window, he looked down the street, hoping to see Sara's car. She was really late....of course she could have made other plans for the evening. It wasn't like he'd told her when he'd be coming back....or if he'd be coming back.
He grabbed another beer and sat back on the couch to wait for her. A baseball game distracted his attention for a while, but it wasn't that long before he realised his wife wasn't coming home. At first he panicked, his brain refused to work rationaly. His first instinct was to start phoning the hospitals....but he quickly rationalised there were plenty of other places she could be.
Jack started by calling their mutual friends, figuring that she might have been asked out to dinner or something. Most people seemed surprised to hear from him. Apparently it had been a very long time since he had spoken to any of them, but his search was in vain. No one seemed to know where Sara was. As a last resort he called her father. The two of them had never gotten along that well. Jack suspected that it was something to do with the fact that Sara had been pregnant when he'd married her. Her family hadn't given him any points for doing the right thing.
The phone seemed to ring forever before a woman answered it, "Hello."
"Sara?"
There was silence at the other end of the line. He thought for a few seconds that she'd hung up on him.
"Sara? Honey?" he repeated.
"Jack."
"Yeah."
"You came back."
"Yeah....Sara...when are you coming home?"
"I'm not."
"Why?"
"You left Jack. Did you have any idea what that did to me?"
"Sara, I know you've had to put up with alot, but trust me....I'm better now."
"So that's it. You've just forgotten that our son died?"
"For cryin' out loud....of course I haven't."
There was another silence, but this time Jack could hear small sounds. Was she crying?
"Jack," her father had clearly taken to handset.
"I'm here."
"Sara's staying here for now. I suggest you keep away for a while."
"What? Why?"
"Because if you don't I'll get a court order. Goodbye Jack."
Jack stared at the phone, unable to believe what had happened. Sara had left him? No! Not now, not when he was finally able to make sense of what had happened. He should have been angry, but he wasn't feeling anything. He moved through the house; throwing the uneaten meal in the trash, loading the dishwasher, locking the doors, turning out the lights. He didn't sleep in their bed. It didn't feel right without Sara at his side. The guest room wasn't made up, but he didn't really care. After the last couple of days any kind of bed was welcome.
He slept for hours. Waking when the sun was high in the sky, Jack showered and dressed, still wrapped in the unnatural calm that had descended on him the previous evening. He left the house, driving around town, unable to decide what to do. The Stargate, Abydos, Skaara, all seemed like....the product of a deranged imagination. That was the reason he ended up at the Airforce hospital, he wanted to prove to himself that it wasn't all a dream.
Sam was in a room on the ground floor, overlooking the gardens. She greeted Jack with a smile...which immediately made him feel a little better.
"Colonel, sir.....are those for me," she said.
Feeling slightly embarrassed, Jack handed her the flowers he had purchased on the way in.
"They're beautiful, sir."
"Quit with the sirs, Carter. You're not under my command anymore. It's Jack."
"OK....and Jack...."
"Yeah?"
"It's Sam."
"Right.....Sam."
He sat down, unable to think of anything else to say. Carter....Sam....seemed none the worse for wear. Her arm was now properly splinted, and she had a dressing covering the bullet wound.
"So...?"
"So?"
"How are you feeling?"
"Better, thanks."
"Good."
"Jack."
"Yeah?"
"Is everything OK?"
"Oh yeah....Sara's gone."
"What?"
"When I got back she'd already left."
"I'm sorry."
"So was I."
Jack didn't really know why he was telling her. He just needed to talk to someone and Sam was the only person he could think of.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"Don't know. Find somewhere else to live for a start.....I don't think staying in that house would be right."
For a start there was a loaded gun under the mattress in his son's room. Although Jack was pretty certain he was past the suicidal stage, it wasn't a good idea to put too much temptation in his path.
"Look, I'm going to be stuck here for a couple of weeks....just in case I picked up some kind of alien superbug....if you want you can stay at my place," Sam offered.
"I couldn't."
"Just until you get yourself sorted out."
Jack fought down the urge to yell at her. The last thing he needed was sympathy. But Sam's offer had been made in all innocence, she couldn't know what he was feeling.
"I mean it, sir. And you'd be doing me a favour," she pushed.
He didn't fail to note that she'd slipped back into the formal address, but she did have a point. And he didn't relish the thought of moving into a motel. To much temptation to do something stupid. At least if he was looking after someone else's house he would feel obliged to keep the place, and himself in some kind of decent order.
"You sure you want to trust me with your stuff, Sam?" he asked, grinning.
"I have insurance."
"If you're sure?"
"Yes."
She reached over onto the night stand and picked up her keys, handing them to Jack.
"And if you could feed the cat...."
"So now your motives become clear. You just want me to cat sit."
"Shroedinger gets lonely...."
"Shroedinger? That figures. You ever think of anything other than physics?"
"Not if I can help it."
~~~~~
He ran towards her, his face breaking into a smile. Sara greeted her husband with a kiss. He was home earlier than she expected, a nice surprise.
"Look what came home from school, today," she smiled, handing him a photograph. Jack was busy nuzzling at her neck, but he broke away long enough to look at the picture.
It was Charlie, a big grin on his face. The boy looked so much like his father... Jack placed another kiss behind her ear,
"Is Charlie about ready?" he asked.
"He was running around here a minute ago....."
The shot rang out. Both adults stood up, shock and fear immobilising them for a few precious seconds. Jack was the first to move, heading into the house. Sara couldn't prevent a scream tearing from her throat...
"Charlie!!!"
She ran up to her room. Jack was already there, bent over Charlie's body.
"He's still alive," he breathed.
He scooped the boy up in his arms and disappeared down stairs. Sara was right behind him, but he hardly seemed to notice. If she hadn't have realised what he was doing, Jack would have driven off without her. She sat in the back, cradling Charlie in her arms.
"Shouldn't we wait for the emergency services?" Sara asked.
"No time. Keep pressure on the wound."
Jack had slipped into military mode, snapping orders as he drove to the hospital, his face unnaturally calm. Sara was barely coherent enough to follow his instructions.
~~~~~~
Jenny had brought ice cream. The two women sat in the kitchen, long after Sara's father had gone to bed, trying to put the world to rights.
"It's not that I don't love Jack, it's just..."
"Not knowing when he's going to leave you again?"
"Yeah."
Sara poured herself another glass of wine.
"You and Frank are different. You have something really special," she went on.
"So do you and Jack."
"Not anymore. I look at him and all I can see is Charlie."
"You still blame Jack?"
"No.....I just can't forget."
That wasn't quite true. She did blame Jack, she always would....for Charlie's death, for destroying their marriage...for refusing to talk to her. That was what was different about Jenny and Frank, they actually had conversations. When Frank came back from a mission, he didn't lock himself away for days. Jack could be very, very sweet. He'd bring her flowers, make her dinner....yet he'd never tell her what he was feeling.
She wondered if this would have happened anyway, if Charlie's death hadn't just hastened the inevitable. How much longer could she had put up with Jack? He had seen so much, experienced so much horror, and Sara was unable to help him. If she was honest with herself...Jack was no longer the man she had married.
"I'm getting a divorce," she announced.
"What?" Jenny asked.
"I can't go through this again."
"Maybe Jack'll retire..."
"It would still be the same. He'd go back...as soon as they called. I should have done it when Charlie died. Anyway, last week you were telling me I was better off without him. Make up your mind."
"I......just don't want you to do anything you'll regret. Promise me you'll think about it."
"The thinking's done. It has to end."
Perhaps it was the wine talking, but at that moment Sara was certain. Jack said he'd changed...but she'd heard that before. No, separation was the best thing for both of them. Then she could get on with her life, and Jack could descend into whatever pit he dug for himself next time the airforce called.
***
Jack had already found somewhere else to live by the time Sam was released from hospital. She admitted to feeling a little disappointed. It was nice to come home and find someone waiting for her, even if he did have his bags packed.
The house he had bought was a little was out of town. A low, wooden building, he had taken a great deal of pride in showing her around the property. It was nice. Despite the lack of furniture, the house felt warm, comfortable and very....Jack. Wooden floors, stone fireplace, large garden, decking out back. They went out afterwards and chose furniture. Jack didn't really have much idea, but Sam found a nice wide couch and a couple of armchairs, as well as ordering him a bed. He raised his eyebrows at the wrought metal frame but handed over his credit card without complaint. Some of the stuff at his old house was his by right. A table and dresser that had belonged to his grandmother, wall hangings and rugs he had brought back from the middle east. Those they put in place as soon as they could. Jack slept on the floor couch until his bed arrived.
It was fun, almost like being married without the trouble of having a husband. Despite outward appearances, Sam did have a domestic streak and Jack seemed quite happy to let her arrange the furnishings. She suspected that it was just his way of making the house as different as possible. The only thing he insisted on regarded his son. He wouldn't have anything in the house to remind him of Charlie. Sam didn't push the matter...feeling that it wasn't really her place. Jack's emotional issues were something she didn't really want to get involved with. She'd had enough of that with the last man in her life....
Woah. Where the hell did that thought come from? Sam stopped in the middle of making up Jack's bed. This was nuts. Here she was helping a man pick up the pieces of his life, and she was happily fantasising about what it would be like to be involved with him. She smoothed the cotton undersheet, using the action to distract herself. Jack O'Neill was a very attractive man, but he needed her as a friend, not a lover. Besides, it wasn't like they really had anything in common...besides the airforce ....stargazing......hockey....old Judy Garland films....Sam groaned to herself. This was bad, very, very bad.
It had been just over a month since their return through the Stargate. Sam had spent two weeks in the hospital, and Jack had visited her every day. As much as she tried to talk herself out of it she knew that she was on the edge of some pretty deep feelings for her former commanding officer.
"Hey, Sam?" Jack's voice called, Sam threw the comforter over the bed and busied herself straightening it out.
"In here!" she shouted back.
He came into the bedroom, his arms full of something that looked like patchwork.
"You're all set," she went on. "I'd better go."
"One more thing, give me a hand with this?" he asked.
Sam took the other end of the quilt and helped him spread it over the bed.
"Wow....that's beautiful, Jack," she breathed.
"I always thought so. My Grandmother made it for my Mom. It's been stuck in a box in the attic for the past ten years, but I thought now I've got this new place, why not?"
The quilt was dominated by squares of red and blue, all of different shades, occasionally alternated by other colours. Jack sat on the bed and pointed to one of the white squares, Sam found herself kneeling beside him to get a closer look...
"That's from my Grandmother's wedding dress, that's from my Moms...uh...that's the first party dress my Mom had, that's her prom dress..."
"It must have taken years."
"Yeah, she was still working on it when I was a kid, and my mom and dad had it on their bed for years. When Mom passed away, Dad gave it to me. I guess he figured that I could pass it on...."
At that point Jack choked up a little. Sam already knew that it was a sign of trouble ahead, so she didn't press the issue.
"It really looks good, Jack. And it goes great in here....now we need to get some deep blue curtains to match."
"What's wrong with the one's the old owners left?"
"They're sludge brown....."
"And?"
Sam grabbed a pillow and bashed Jack over the head with it. He retaliated in kind and it wasn't long before they were collapsed in a giggling heap on the bed, "OK, OK, whatever you say," he panted in defeat.
"That's better."
She sat up only to find herself dragged backwards, pinned by Jack's superior weight. Sam shrieked as he started tickling her.
"Stop!" she said, finding it hard to breath.
"Can dish it out, but can't take it?"
"No more."
He ran his fingers along her ribs again, causing her to squeal .....
"Hello Jack...."
The third voice caught them both by surprise. Jack shot off the bed, turning to face the woman.
"Sara!" he gasped.
"The door was open...." she began.
"It's OK."
"Is it?"
The comment was obviously directed at Sam, who sat up carefully, straightening the clothes that had somehow become rumpled. She intended to make as dignified an exit as possible, but Sara beat her to it.
"I just wanted to give you these," the other woman continued, handing Jack a large envelope.
"What? Sara...."
"I thought it was better than....you know."
"Sara, this isn't what it looks like."
"Really? Jack, what you do from now on isn't my concern. I'll see you in court."
"Wait, Mrs. O'Neill..." Sam began.
But Sara ignored her. Sam was about to go after the other woman, but Jack put out a hand to stop her.
"It's not worth it," he said. "She won't come back."
He sounded totally resigned to the situation.
"If I talk to her...." Sam protested.
"Don't."
"But...."
"Just don't."
Jack fell silent then. Staring at the envelope in his hands.
"I'd better go," Sam said. "I'll be at the base if you want to talk."
She expected him to ask her to stay, but he didn't say anything. In fact, she wondered if he actually noticed her leaving. Sam had been hoping to catch up with Sara outside, but there was no sign of the other woman. In any case, Jack was probably right. Any further intervention wouldn't help any attempt to save his marriage. Although she had to admit, he didn't appear to be trying very hard. As she drove to Cheyenne Mountain, she tried to work out why. She didn't flatter herself with the thought that it could be her presence in his life. There were other reasons that he hadn't found necessary to share. Sam suspected that some of the fault rested with Sara. When they had come back from Abydos he had been determined to make an effort, but Sam gathered his wife hadn't exactly welcomed him home with open arms. Yet she suspected they'd had something once....something very special.
Jack was a complicated man and it would have taken a very determined woman to put up with him for so long. Their son's death must have started the disintegration, Jack taking that last mission must have finally severed the bonds. Sara had to have realised why he left. Thinking about it, Sam had no idea what she would have done in that position. She only hoped that the situation wasn't going to push Jack back into his depression.
Her mind was still preoccupied as she made the long descent down to Level 28. She had some more simulations to run on the 'gate. Not that it seemed to be getting them anywhere. In the weeks since she had returned to duty, they must have run hundreds of combinations of seven symbols, but the metal ring had remained silent. It was starting to look as if the Stargate technology could only take them to Abydos....would have done if the Abydos 'gate had still been active. The probe they had sent through had been destroyed. Sam guessed that Daniel had buried the 'gate, stopping any matter from reintegrating.
She was just sitting down at her computer when she got the summons to report to General West. She didn't appreciate the interruption and was actually swearing to herself when she arrived at his office. He kept her waiting for twenty minutes. Damn, but the General could be petty when he wanted.
"Captain," he greeted her when she finally stood before his desk.
"Reporting as ordered, sir."
"You have new orders, Captain."
"Sir?"
"You're being reassigned to the pentagon."
"What? Sir...this has to be some kind of mistake?"
"Really?"
"I can't go, sir. There's still so much I have to do here. No one understands the 'gate technology the way I do."
"That is debatable, but since the program is being shut down your talents are required elsewhere."
"Shut down...."
"Am I making myself clear, Captain?"
"Yes sir....but...."
"You will report to General Hammond next week....dismissed."
Next week? There was barely time for her to put her affairs in order. Sam wanted to protest further, but she knew if she opened her mouth one more time the General would like as not charge her with insubordination. She was going to Washington and there was nothing she could do about it. Closing the program was nothing more than short-sighted. There was so much that they could still learn....and she knew that eventually she would get the 'gate working again.
It just wasn't fair.
Sam smiled at herself. It was that thought that had got her into this in the first place. What the hell was she going to do? Although she knew that moving around was a factor of the life she had chosen, Sam didn't want to leave. She had a good life here, she had friends and job she loved and....and...Jack.
He was the first person she called. She was a little surprised that he answered the phone. Maybe he thought it would be Sara.....
"O'Neill."
"It's me."
"Sam? What is it?"
He sounded almost normal....not the voice of a man who had just received his divorce papers.
"Bad news...at least I think it is. The project is being shut down. I've been reassigned," Sam went on.
"What? Where?"
"Washington."
"When do you leave?"
"Soon....very soon. Look I might not have much time to see you this week."
"Don't worry about it....you'll just have to trust me to pick out curtains by myself."
"Yeah." She couldn't help the sob sounding in her voice.
"Hey....it's a great opportunity for you."
"I know but...I'm going to miss...everything."
"Look, let me know where you end up and I'll let you have all the gossip. Deal?"
"I guess."
"And if you're real unlucky I might come visit."
***
Jack had found someone else.
It was affecting her more than she would have believed possible. She had been telling herself that she was the one who was moving on with her life..... but he wasn't an easy man to get over. Sara lit another cigarette and poured another glass of wine. The woman had been younger, naturally....tall, blonde, some bimbo he'd probably picked up in a bar.
~~~~
"I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do."
Sara couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her son was lying on the bed, his face still and pale. He was asleep, just asleep....nothing more.
"I want to see him!" she demanded.
"Just give us a few moments...."
"Now!"
"Sara," Jack's arms went about her and he tried to guide her away.
But Sara wouldn't let him. She fought her way out of his grasp, hitting out as he tried to restrain her.
"You killed our son!!!" she screamed. "You bastard. You killed him! Charlie! Charlie!"
"Sara?"
"It was your gun!"
Jack let go of her. At that point Sara didn't care how much she hurt him. He was the one responsible for her son's death.
"Don't you walk away from me Jack O'Neill! It was always you and him, wasn't it? You were always pushing me away and look what happened! "
She needed someone to lash out at, someone to blame. This would have never happened if Jack hadn't kept that damn gun in the house. It had been an accident waiting to happen. She'd had to warn Charlie away from it time after time and still Jack had refused to get rid of it. Now their son was dead....and it was all his fault.
He wasn't even doing anything. Just standing there and looking at her, letting her hit him. Didn't he care? The tears were coursing down her face, her breath coming in big, ugly gasps....Jack's eyes were dry. This was what the military had made him into. Some kind of unfeeling monster, who could stand there while his son died and not shed a tear.
"Ma'am, if you'd like to come this way."
Sara allowed the doctor to take her arm. Jack made to follow but she rounded on him,
"No!" she spat, "Keep away from him!"
He stopped in his tracks, his hand half raised, pleading with her.
"Get out of here!" she told him. "We don't need you anymore."
~~~~
She'd seen the light die in his eyes that day. If she could have done, Sara would have taken back those words. She'd tried to apologise, but Jack wouldn't listen. He closed himself off, from her, from the rest of the world.
"Sara? You OK?"
Her father's voice wasn't welcome at that moment
"I saw Jack with another woman," she admitted. "I walked into his house and found them on his bed, rolling around on that moth eaten old quilt he used to love so much."
"I'm sorry."
"It isn't fair, Dad. I've tried so hard."
"I know, sweetheart. But you have to move on."
"I don't think I can. I still love him."
"That's always been your problem."
"And there's something wrong with that? I don't know why I'm talking about this. You always hated him."
"No I didn't. I just never thought that he had your best interests at heart. Seems I was right."
"You picked a great moment to say 'I told you so'."
"Sara, if you still love him, you have to tell him. It won't work any other way."
She bit her lip. Her father was right, but what if Jack really did want to be with that other woman? Handing him the divorce papers had been a mistake, but she hadn't known what else to do. It had been so long since she had seen Jack look that happy, and it cut her to the core to know someone else was responsible.
This was partially her fault. He had offered the olive branch, but she'd as good as flung it back in his face. No wonder he'd gone searching for someone else.....
Suddenly, Sara felt very old.
***
Jack shifted uneasily from foot to foot as he waited to leave the plane. He should have just stayed in his seat to avoid the crush, but he was too agitated to sit still any longer. Stupid really. He was starting to feel nervous about seeing her again. It was only Sam after all. He hadn't seen her in two months, even though they'd spoken on the phone almost every day. They'd go out have a few beers, chew over all times and that would be it. But he had kind of invited himself, and he wasn't certain that she actually wanted him there.
The line shuffled along a little, allowing Jack to reach into the overhead locker and pull down his travel bag. What the hell was going on up front? It wasn't like this was a particularly big plane. The flight had been full....Which meant that Jack had spent several hours with his knees tucked somewhere around his ears trying to fend off conversation with a woman who bred iguana's for a living....and had photos. He was actually surprised that he could still walk.
He really, really hated commercial flights.
Eventually, the line of people started moving with a little more determination and Jack soon found himself walking through the tunnel connecting the plane with the terminal building. He sincerely hoped that Sam was there to meet him. If not, there was no way he'd be able to navigate to her place. Jack always got lost when he came to Washington.
His previous doubts were swept away when he saw her. Sam was standing in front of the 'gate, her face breaking into a huge grin when she finally spotted him.
"Jack!" she called, and started dodging through the crowd of people.
Jack dropped his bag and held out his arms, readily accepting her welcoming hug.
"You're lookin' good," he grinned back, his comment eliciting a blush.
She was too. Her face had lost that drawn look associated with the pain of the injuries she had sustained on Abydos.....and she'd gained a little weight. Not much. But enough to add a subtle roundness to her body. If he had though her beautiful before, she now took his breath away.
"C'mon," she told him, "The car's out in the lot. I got a really good spot. You hungry?"
"What do you think?" Jack grinned back.
Sam laughed, but she also bit her lip, nervously.
"What?" he asked.
"I kind of said that we'd join some friends of mine. Do you mind?" she admitted.
"Oh...I guess not...they're not all geeks are they?"
"If you'd rather......."
"Hey, as long as I can get a steak, I don't care."
She seemed to relax a little. Jack was slightly disappointed, he had been looking forward to spending some time alone with Sam, but they had plenty of time for that this week. He was barely admitting to himself the real reasons why he was here. Sam intrigued him, in a way that he didn't exactly feel comfortable with. When he and Sara had married, he thought it had been forever. The fact that he was now thinking of another woman all of the time was disturbing, but he couldn't seem to get her image out of his head. Those seconds before Sara had walked in....Sam lying on his bed, her face flushed, her eyes laughing, her breath coming in gasps.
He shook the picture from his mind.
***
The 'get together with friends' turned out to be a birthday party for Sam's CO. Jack almost turned back when the walked into the restaurant. The party had clearly been going on for a couple of hours. As soon as they joined the group of airforce personnel, a woman threw her arms around Jack's neck, "Sam, I told you not to bring me a present," she slurred.
"Jack this is Lieutenant Colonel Green, Ma'am, Colonel Jack O'Neill," Sam made the introductions, clearly embarrassed by her CO's behaviour. Jack however, took the incident in his stride. He untwined the woman's arms,
"Sorry, I make it a rule.....I always leave with the woman I came with.....Want a beer Sam?"
"Yes....thanks."
He walked across to the bar, his ears picking up the conversation that started as soon as his back was turned.
"Ma'am....."
"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Lucy when we're off-duty?" Green paused and, even though he gad his back to them , Jack knew she was checking him out, "I can see why you've imported that butt in from Colorado," she finished.
"It's not like that," Sam protested, "we're just friends."
"Right."
Sam's face was bright red by the time Jack got back with her drink.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't worry about it," he replied.
With a hand on her back, he guided her over to her friends. There were two chairs free and Jack held one of them while Sam sat down.
"Relax," he whispered in her ear. For some reason, his action caused a shiver to run through her body. Intrigued, he leant forward again, "You look great," he added.
She did it again. Jack noted the response, storing it away in the back of his mind.
The evening proceeded pleasantly enough. As he had suspected, the people Sam worked with were all geeks, but a couple of them had served in the Gulf, giving them something of a common perspective. It didn't take him long to realise that Sam had gained herself a reputation for working too hard. Apparently, Lieutenant Colonel Green had ordered her to come tonight, figuring it was the only way to get Sam to enjoy herself. Naturally, Sam denied all accusations, but she was cried down by her colleagues. She laughed, burying her head in Jack's shoulder as she did so. It was a habit she seemed to develop as the night progressed. He liked it.
This was really the first night he had been out as a 'single' man......even though the divorce was far from formalised. He'd meant to call Sara......to try and talk, but he couldn't. Somehow, even starting a conversation was too difficult. So he'd pushed the idea away, choosing to come here and spend time with Sam.
She was laughing again, she did that a lot....especially when she'd had a couple of drinks. Jack didn't mind. After all his life had held little laughter of late. He tended to be a reclusive man by nature, but he was actually enjoying being out with a group of people...something he could thank Sam for. She was fun to be around. Not that Sara hadn't been but...they had a lot of history, a lot of bad history and somehow that had always tainted their relaxation time. There were things about his life that Sara couldn't possibly understand, reasons for his behaviour that she was not privy to.
"Jack....?"
Sam's question had caught him unawares.
"Sorry? What did you say?" he asked.
"The rest of the guys wanna go onto a club?"
He could tell that she really wanted to go, and he found himself agreeing, even though it wasn't his idea of fun.
"Sure," he replied.
Sam took his hand and dragged him out of his seat. They held hands for the short walk to the club. She kept on looking at him and blushing, seemingly pleased by the gesture.
The club wasn't as bad as Jack had feared. Situated in the basement of a larger building, it was small and relatively exclusive. It seemed that Lieutenant Colonel Green had some kind of pull with the owners and the group of air force officers quickly occupied a couple of the couches that were scattered around the bar. It was fairly cramped, but Jack didn't mind in the least. It was a good excuse to sit close to Sam. In fact he was forced to slide an arm over her shoulders......up to the moment when some guy asked her to dance.
Jack had to fight back surge of jealousy as he watched her on the dance floor. He tried to have a conversation with the man who sat across from him, but somehow his eyes always returned to Sam. She was obviously enjoying herself. Without even realising what he was doing, he rose to join her, cutting in on her partner.
"My turn," Jack grinned.
Sam draped her arms about his neck, burying her face in the nape and placing a soft kiss on his skin. Jack responded the only way he could think of, sliding his hand down her back and pulling her closer. He took a deep breath, enjoying her scent.....Shampoo, perfume, just a hint of sweat...it was enough to send his senses into overdrive. The music slowed, adding to the flare of passion. If Sam was trying to turn him on, she was definitely succeeding. He could feel her lips on his neck, one of her legs sliding between his as they danced. Her tongue snaked out, tasting him.....
"Sam," he breathed.
"Yes?"
"You wanna take this somewhere else?"
"Yes."
He took her hand and led her away.
Her apartment was within walking distance....The cool night air should have been enough to calm him down, but it just made him more aware of the warm body pressed against his.
"Home sweet home," she smiled as she let them in.
"Sweet," Jack replied, "definitely sweet."
Sam moved away, shedding her coat.
"Night-cap?" she offered.
"No."
"Coffee?"
"No."
"Warm milk?"
Jack laughed. She was teasing him and he loved it.
"So what do you want?" she asked.
"Do I have to say it?"
"Yes."
He caught the barest hint of nervousness in her voice, and he moved to reassure her, sliding his arms about her waist.
"You, Sam...that's all I want."
The admission surprised him. He was finally giving in to something that had been growing ever since the mission to Abydos. At first he had fought the attraction, but with Sara seeming so set on a divorce, there really didn't seem to any reason not to. And Sam was...Sam was.....pushing him towards her bedroom. Jack had to admit that the prospect of a new partner was exciting. Undressing her, exploring a body that was unknown, turned him on more than he cared to admit. Yet her beauty wasn't perfect. She had scars on her body....as he did on his. The military life hadn't been entirely kind to her. And she was strong. Jack was amazed at the strength of the limbs that twined about his own.
He knew he liked Sam, liked her a lot, but as he found himself wondering if there wasn't more to this......love? Jack quickly dismissed the notion. Any deeper emotions were still intractably entangled with his wife. Sam was just....
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, but he was beyond feeling pain. No more pain....for the first time in two years he had let the memory of his son's death fade, just a little and the realisation scared him. Jack reached down inside himself, gathering together every scrap of anguish, allowing the emotions to flood out.
Safe in Sam's arms, Jack O'Neill cried like a child.
***
Sam awoke in the golden dawn, her finger's entwined in her lover's hair.
"You OK?" he asked.
"I'm better than OK."
Sam cuddled against him, giving a sigh that held just a touch of melancholy. Neither of them had mentioned his breakdown the previous night. It didn't seem right to broach the subject in the daylight.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing."
"C'mon...tell me."
She bit her lip. Jack responded to her silence by running his fingers lightly along her ribs, making Sam squeal. As he had demonstrated the previous night, he knew exactly what to do with her body.
"It's just.....I think I'm falling in love with you," Sam said, quietly.
Jack's fingers froze.
"Why? I mean......Sam..." he began.
"You don't have to say anything," she whispered, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. This had seemed so right.
"I think I do. I'm not saying this wasn't nice, but....I'm sorry, it's too soon."
"Yeah, I figured."
She turned away from him, her body hunched up.
"Look, Sam. I still have a lot of stuff to deal with. A quick trip across the galaxy isn't some kind of miracle cure....I do care about you."
Sam didn't reply, but she felt the mattress dip as he shifted a little closer, resting a hand on her shoulder.
"....it wouldn't be fair to you.....or me. "
"Or Sara?" she asked.
"Maybe."
***
She wasn't surprised when he left the that morning. He made some excuse and caught the first flight out of Washington.....with the platitude 'I'll call you.'
Sam spent Sunday moping around her apartment, cursing herself for voicing her feelings. She had really thought that Jack had been ready to move on....stupid, stupid, stupid. Never say the L word to a man. To keep her mind off Jack, she decided not to take the rest of her leave and went into work on Monday.
"Sam? What are you doing here?" Green questioned as Sam tried to sneak into the lab.
"I had some stuff to finish up," Sam explained, in what she hoped was a normal tone of voice.
Her superior wasn't fooled for a second. She took Sam's arm and led her into the office, closing the door.
"What happened?" she demanded.
"About what ma'am?"
"How many times....this is a Lucy moment...remember? What did that guy do to you?"
Sam sighed, there really was no getting out of it, "Had sex with me and left. End of story."
"Bastard!"
"I wish he was, but...he's married, Lucy. They're supposed to be getting a divorce but I think he went back to her."
"He didn't seem that type."
Green seemed genuinely sorry. Sam didn't know her commanding officer that well, but what she had seen she liked. The woman had a forthright approach to her subordinates that Sam found refreshing.....It almost reminded her of working with Jack. Sam let out an audible groan, "I have to get some work done...take my mind off of all this," she announced.
"Sure you do...but if he comes into to Washington again, he's a dead man. You have my word on that."
Sam laughed. No, she wasn't surprised that Jack had left, but she was amazed that her co-workers were so supportive. It seemed she had made some real friends here without even realising.
The first phonecall came a week later. Sam had been on her way out and had almost let the machine get it....then she came close to slamming the phone down when she heard Jack's voice. He was hesitant, stammering almost, and Sam didn't put him at his ease. They exchanged a few pleasantries and then she rang off, telling him that she'd call back sometime.
She waited for two whole weeks, unplugging the phone every time she got the urge to talk to him. It was pathetic, but after a night in with a bottle of wine, she just had to hear his voice. Sam hated herself for days afterwards, but she couldn't get away from the fact that talking to Jack had been nice.
Three days later, she realised that she needed one of the books she had leant him, so it was perfectly natural to call and ask him to send it up to her....just as it was good manners for him to phone and make sure it had arrived safely. And the fact that he mentioned, just in passing, that he had seen his lawyer about the divorce...a very good reason for Sam to buy herself a plane ticket to Colorado.
Her co-workers thought she was mad. Green was very vocal about her opinions before granting any leave, but Sam was persistent and two days later she found herself on that plane. It was the last flight in. The airport was just about empty as she hurried through the halls, everything was closing down for the night. Hiring a car was out of the question, so Sam had to grit her teeth against the cost and take a cab down to Colorado Springs. Of course she could have just grabbed a motel room, but she wanted to see Jack. He wasn't expecting her and Sam hoped the surprise would be a good one.
***
Meeting with Sara was going to be, by necessity, awkward. Jack hoped that they could talk like civilised adults....even if he had no idea what he was going to say to her. He didn't want this break up to be more difficult that it had to be. If not....well, he had a good lawyer.
Sara could have the house, all the remnants of his past life. He didn't want any of it. God, seeing her was going to be hard, especially after what he had done. The memory of Sam flicked through his mind. Yes, he felt guilty about that, but probably for the wrong reasons. He should never have left her in that way. Sam deserved more than an empty bed and a half spoken promise. Still there was really no point in thinking about her, it wasn't like she would ever consider seeing him again. Would she? Certainly they had been talking on the phone a lot but....
He had expected Sam to call today, but she hadn't. Evidence enough, he guessed. Pushing the unwelcome thoughts to the back of his mind, Jack ordered himself a pizza and opened a bottle of wine. He was normally a beer guy, but Sam had bought the wine for him...a housewarming gift that they had never had the chance to share. A pity, it was a good label. Too good to drink with pizza, but Jack didn't really care. He was most of the way through the bottle when Sara finally knocked on the door.
She raise her eyebrows at the empty pizza box on the table, but Jack was now in a mellow mood and refused to excuse himself and offered her a glass of wine.
"You're looking well," Sara offered as they sat opposite each other.
"So are you," Jack returned.
She fiddled with the rim of her glass, running her fingers around the surface. Jack lit a cigarette to calm his nerves, and offered Sara one. Sam had been nagging him to give up....he supposed he should, but not when he was faced with his soon-to-be ex-wife.
"So...?"
"So...?"
"This is hard."
"I know."
"Jack...I..."
"I went to see a lawyer, he outlined everything for me....I'm not going to make this difficult...."
"Jack stop."
"What?"
Sara put her glass down and crossed to sit by Jack.
"What?" he repeated.
She placed a hand on his thigh. Jack heard himself moan under her touch. He knew what would happen next. Sara would seduce him and they'd end up having sex, right here on the couch. It wouldn't mean anything... He pushed her hand away, but it returned, sliding up his leg.
"This isn't a good idea," he hissed, "I want to talk."
"Talk?"
"Yes."
"I guess there's a first time for everything."
Sara pulled back a little. She picked up her glass and moved back to her chair, tucking her feet under her.
"So tell me what you're feeling, Jack?" she finished.
"I just want to talk about the divorce."
"OK, if you won't talk I will. This, all of this, it's wrong. What have we done to each other, Jack? It's not about Charlie anymore, it's about us. So tell me what you feel. Do you still want me? Or do you want that blonde I caught you wrestling with? It's your choice."
***
The lights were still burning when Sam finally reached Jack's house. He was in and he was still awake. Sam paid the taxi driver and swung her bag over her shoulder. Now she was here, her courage was failing a little....but Sam didn't allow herself to fall into introspection. She marched up to the front door and rang the bell. Before long she heard soft footsteps. In her mind, she could see Jack padding along his hallway, barefoot. The bolt was drawn back and the door opened a crack.
"Sam? What the..."
But she didn't give Jack a chance to say anything else.
"Miss me?" she grinned, winding her arms about his neck.
"Uh...yeah...I guess."
He glanced over his shoulder, back towards his living room, "This isn't a good time," he went on.
"Why?"
"Sara's here."
"Oh."
Sam didn't know what to do. She hadn't made any contingency plans. It was late enough by now that finding another place to stay was probably out of the question. Jack must have realised that because his expression softened a little and he reached for her arm.
"Look you can't stand out there all night, you'd better come in," he said.
"I don't want to interrupt...."
"It's OK, really. Come on."
Dropping her bag in the hall, Sam followed him down the short flight of steps into the living room. The coffee table was scattered with the remains of what had clearly been a cosy night in....pizza box, a couple of empty wine glasses....she could smell the acrid odour of cigarettes. Sara was sitting in one of the armchairs, her bare feet tucked under her, looking far too comfortable for Sam's liking.
"We meet again," Sara said.
"Uh...hi," Sam responded.
"Sara, Sam Carter a...friend," Jack stammered.
"Oh please Jack, spare me," his wife replied.
Jack cast a frantic look in Sam's direction, but she kept quiet. She wasn't about to bail him out of this by lying to Sara. She knew very well that something had happened, and to deny the fact would be an insult to the woman's intelligence.
"I can see now why you suddenly got so keen on a divorce," Sara finished.
"Me? You were the one who wanted a divorce!" Jack said, angrily.
"I don't.....You didn't leave me much choice. "
"You don't?"
"No."
This couldn't be happening. Surely, her arrival wasn't going to bring them back together? Sam felt very, very awkward. She hadn't realised how much Jack still loved his wife.
"So...," Jack began, "What do you want us to do?"
"I don't know."
Sara's eyes fell on Sam, who was doing her best to blend into the carpet.
"Did you sleep with her?" Sara asked Jack.
"Her name's Sam," Jack replied.
"Did you?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Jack didn't reply immediately. He looked desperately at Sam, but she still couldn't bring herself to offer an explanation. She knew why she had slept with Jack and she didn't think that particular revelation would help.
"Because I wanted to," he said, finally.
Sara didn't reply. In one swift movement, she had pulled on her shoes, picked up her bag and was on her way out of the front door. Sam thought that Jack would go after his wife, but he made no move. He just stood there, doing nothing. Something was holding him back. Sam reached out and took his hand briefly, she had tears in her eyes, but she couldn't stop herself saying, "It's OK Jack, go speak to her."
"I can't," he shook his head. "It's not what she wants."
"She still loves you. Even I can see that."
"No."
He left her side and walked into the kitchen. Sam heard the distinctive sound of the fridge opening and the clink of a beer bottle. Jack wasn't going anywhere, she realised.
"So why did you sleep with me?" she asked, when he emerged.
For some reason the answer was very important.
"I told Sara..."
"No, Jack, the real reason."
"Because...you saved my life."
"I would have done the same for any member of the team."
"I'm not talking about the bullet, Sam."
He was speaking of the night when he had cried in her arms, when he had held onto her so tightly, sobbing his heart out. Sam saw it now. Sara had pushed him away when their son died...and she was still doing so.
"But you don't love me," Sam said.
"Not yet....but I think I could do....very much."
"Then you have a choice to make, Jack."
For the first time that evening, his eyes met hers and Sam saw his answer in the depths...clear, shining....he wasn't going to change his mind. She nodded to herself and walked into the hall to pick up her bag.
Sam looked back at Jack, standing there, clutching his beer bottle. Who was this man? She wondered....and did she have the courage to find out?
***
Sara sat in the park...in the very place where Jack had first held her hand. Summer had long since fled and the damp chill of autumn was seeping into her bones. Jack would find her eventually...if she still knew the man who had been her husband. She pulled her jacket closer, inhaling the scent of the fallen leaves.
She never really thought that her marriage would end this way; another woman in her husband's life. Sara wished him well, she really did. She hoped he would be happy. As for herself.....She glanced down at the ring on her finger. It seemed a little stupid to keep it there, but Sara couldn't bring herself to remove her wedding band. Jack wasn't wearing his anymore...
Rain started to fall. Sara turned her face upwards. Across the way, people were turning up their coat collars and hurrying home. Sara didn't leave. She was waiting for Jack....she'd wait all day and all night if necessary. The rain kept falling. This was the first place they had been together. It had been a day just like this one. She could still remember the way he looked, laughing, the rain streaming down his face. He'd kissed her for the first time.... The feeling of his lips, his tongue slipping inside her mouth....Sara closed her eyes, relishing the moment.
If this were a movie, she'd open her eyes and Jack would be standing in front of her....but this was real life and he was nowhere in sight. He wasn't coming. The realisation hit her like a blow to the head. Jack wasn't coming, he was going to leave her sitting here in the rain. How could she have been so stupid? He didn't want her, not anymore.
Still she waited, hoping. After everything that had happened, she still couldn't accept that it was over.
It was dark when she finally went home....so dark that she failed to notice the hunched figure hurrying through the rain.
***
EPILOGUE - 1 Year after the Abydos Mission
Sam was painting her toenails when her pager bleeped. She swore softly, as she crawled over to her bag and pulled out the device. It was work calling...as if it would be anyone else? This wasn't fair, she was supposed to be on leave. She shuffled over to the phone and dialled the number,
"It's Carter," she replied when her CO answered.
"Good, thought you'd be too busy to pick up," Green replied.
"You know me, Lucy, all work no play....What's up? If it's the NMR again it can wait until I get back."
"I wish it were. Sam, it's the Stargate, they want you back in Cheyenne."
"Really?"
"Honest."
"Um...Lucy...do you know if they've recalled Colonel O'Neill?"
"That I don't know...good luck and let me know what happens, okay?"
"See ya."
Sam put down the phone and put her nail polish away. So much for an evening of pampering herself. She looked longingly at her half finished glass of wine, before pushing all thoughts of relaxation firmly from her mind.
The Stargate...what the hell was going on? As far as she was concerned the project was dead and buried. Her thought's rested briefly with Daniel Jackson, wondering how he had fared on that strange world...or if Sha're had worn him out yet. Her musings were interrupted by a knock on the door. Seemed like no one was going to leave her alone, tonight. Putting on her robe, she went to answer it, "Yes!" she snapped.
Two officers waited outside. Sam vaguely recognised one of them...Major Sammuels, or something.
"We were looking for Colonel Jack O'Neill....Captain Carter?" Sammuels asked.
"He's on the roof."
"Oh."
"There's a ladder....if you'll excuse me, I need to get dressed."
She shut the door and returned to the bedroom. Damn, damn, damn....she blew out the candles and re-corked the wine. All this work gone to waste. Jack had been waiting on the roof for an hour. She hoped that the Airforce knew how to cope with what would be a very frustrated retired Colonel....not to mention a Captain who had spent a fortune on a new negligee and getting her legs waxed.
Sam sighed to herself, they had so little time to spend together and she'd wanted this week to be really special. Snatched weekends in Washington were not the same. Sooner or later one of them was going to have to move closer. They'd discussed it and Jack was adamant that her career had to come first, but he wasn't quite ready to leave Colorado Springs. At first, Sam had thought Sara was the reason, but Jack had confessed that he didn't want to be too far from his son's grave. He went up there a lot, taking Sam when she was in town. She'd just sit and read, while Jack did whatever he needed to do. It wasn't something she cared to interrupt, she was just glad to be included.
The divorce hadn't been easy on either of them. Jack hadn't spoken to her for a week after it became final. In the end Sam had flown down to see him. They'd had a major row, culminating in Jack sulking on the roof for three hours. Sam had dragged him back inside eventually, and he'd let her hold him close for the rest of the night. It was after that he'd started to talk in terms of forever. They'd come a long way together, across a whole galaxy, but Sam could honestly say that she'd never been happier.
Jack was swearing as he came into the room, becoming more vocal as he saw the remains of what would have been the perfect romantic evening.
"How long do you think they'd wait for us?" he asked, ever hopeful.
"Not long enough," Sam sighed.
He wound his arms about her waist, "We could go AWOL?" he suggested.
"And miss a chance to fool around with the Stargate?"
"Like there's any contest!"
Sam pulled on her jeans and let Jack help her into her shirt. He wasn't really serious. In fact, he was as excited as she was. He hadn't really missed the military life over the past year, but give him the chance to do something cool and he was like some big kid. She smiled fondly at him.
"Ready?" he urged, grabbing her hand.
"One more thing," she said.
Twining her hand in his hair, she pulled him down and kissed him soundly.
"Now I'm ready," she grinned.
The End
Story Notes: ruth@snowqueen.demon.co.uk
RATING: PG-13
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: The Movie !
DISCLAIMERS: Stargate SG1 is the property of MGM, Showtime, Double Secret and Gekko etc. I'm just playing for a while !
NOTES: This is my attempt to re-write the SG movie with one important addition...Sam gets sent on that first mission. Now alot of the dialog I've used comes from the film, but when the DVD started making strange noises I started using the novel for reference....hence anything you see that doesn't seem quite right probably comes from that source (Artistic license anyone ?:):)). In addition, the novel states that the first Stargate mission takes place two years after Charlie died....since we have no other confirmation in SG1 cannon, I've used that too.
It's not finished yet, but I think it's well on the way...so I hope you all enjoy it.
RATING: PG-13
ARCHIVE: Sam and Jack, anyone else please ask
SPOILERS: The Movie !
DISCLAIMERS: Stargate SG1 is the property of MGM, Showtime, Double Secret and Gekko etc. I'm just playing for a while !
NOTES: This is my attempt to re-write the SG movie with one important addition...Sam gets sent on that first mission. Now alot of the dialog I've used comes from the film, but when the DVD started making strange noises I started using the novel for reference....hence anything you see that doesn't seem quite right probably comes from that source (Artistic license anyone ?:):)). In addition, the novel states that the first Stargate mission takes place two years after Charlie died....since we have no other confirmation in SG1 cannon, I've used that too.
It's not finished yet, but I think it's well on the way...so I hope you all enjoy it.
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc, are the property of their respective owners. Any original characters and plots are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. ... [ read more ]