samandjack.net

Story Notes: E-mail: lisayaeger@hotmail.com

Season/sequel: A sequel of sorts to "Just A Dream" but you don't need to have read that to get this.

Spoilers: Nothing really. Just general knowledge of the show.

Archive: SJD & whoever wants to- I'd be flattered!

Status: Complete.

Feedback: Welcomed!

Date: 26-3-2003

Author's Notes: Many thanks to Moon for being my Beta and giving me an ending.


*****

The plane was full - not an empty seat. Sam was grateful she had booked their reservations far enough in advance to get in the section with only two seats next to each other. If she hadn't, she imagined she would either be next to the extremely overweight man who was sitting on the other side of the aisle or the screaming child she heard behind her. She knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep, so she rested her head on her dad's shoulder and sighed. Deep and heavy. She wasn't really looking forward to going home.

"What was that for?"

She didn't answer.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" To say she had been reserved would be an understatement. Oh, she participated in the events that had made up Christmas and the days before and after, but she wasn't herself. Quiet, introspective, still laughing sometimes, but not the kind that reached her eyes. He hadn't made an issue of it while they were with Mark and his family in California. But now it was just the two of them, and he had waited long enough.

Apparently still not feeling talkative, Sam just shrugged.

"That's not an answer." He rested his head on top of hers and whispered, "Please tell me."

She inhaled against his shirt and just stared past him out the window.

"Let me guess- Santa didn't get you what you wanted for Christmas?"

A chuckle.

"Having a bad hair day?"

A turning of her head back and forth.

"That time of the month?"

"Dad!" She raised her head to give him one-of-those-looks, but then returned it to his shoulder.

"Alright, I give up." He should have known. His daughter could clam up tighter than anyone he knew. He thought, not for the first time, that if they could bottle her secret and sell it-

"I want to have babies."

All the years of military training combined with Selmak's wisdom and experience hadn't prepared him for that. Nope, definitely didn't see that coming. It was moments like this when he wished more than anything that his wife was still alive. He didn't have a clue how to respond.

Apparently she didn't expect him to. "I know I'm only 34, but I don't want to be 40 and having my first baby, you know?"

No, no he didn't. But he could listen and hope to god to be able to formulate a sentence at some point.

"It's different for men. They can have children as long as they want, but I can't."

Was she dating someone? He never really even considered it. What father wants to think about that? His daughter seeing, dating, sleeping with anyone? Dear god, where was that beverage cart? Even though he wouldn't feel alcohol in the same way, a drink sounded really good right now.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, waiting for it all to be over, but suppose it never is? Suppose I wake up one day, 6 years from now, and we're no closer than we are now to defeating them." Her voice had turned into a whisper that only he could hear. "Is it so wrong to want more than a job, more than-"

"But I thought this is what you've always wanted?" He turned his body toward hers, sliding her head off his shoulder in the process, so that he could look her in the eye. "Aren't you happy?"

"I thought I was. I mean, I guess I am, but lately..."

"What, Sam?"

"Lately, I think I want something more than the things I've got."

"Like?" Oh, he had a feeling he *so* did not want to hear this.

"You don't really want to know."

She was always the smart one. "If something is bothering you, I want to know what it is."

She looked dubiously at him, but he also saw the look of a little hope. Like someone who really wanted to share a burden. He didn't get the opportunity to do that for her very often, and he would be damned if he was going to let this slip by even if it made him a little uncomfortable. "I'll tell you what. If it gets too bad, I'll let Selmak take over, okay?"

She smiled at that, and looked down at his shoulder to see if she could put her head back.

He turned to make it more comfortable for her and waited for her to continue.

"I've been thinking lately that maybe there should be more to me than what I do. More than a Major or a Doctor or a scientist or a soldier. More than a career or a job."

"Like a family?"

"When Mark and I were alone on Christmas morning before the kids got up, he told me that he and Susan are thinking about having another baby. She turns 37 this year and doesn't want to wait much longer if they decide to try again."

He hadn't suspected that. Not that it didn't make him happy - what man wouldn't be thrilled to learn he was going to be a grandpa again?

"It started me thinking that they are just a few years older than me, and they're talking about the *end* of starting their family." Then in a voice so sad, it hurt him to hear it, "I'm not even dating anyone."

"From what I hear, it's not from a lack of offers."

She wondered how he heard that. She guessed General Hammond probably knew everything that happened on and off world and shared it with her father more often that not. Not sure how much to give away, she decided to be vague. "They aren't the right offers."

Jacob inhaled sharply at that. He wondered how much to push his daughter on this point. He had heard rumors; every base had them. And when people were forced to work so closely for so long, things were bound to happen. "So..."

"I just don't think I can go on like this anymore."

"'Like this' meaning?"

"Meaning I want a life. A real one. Where I come home from work and there's someone there, or maybe I get home first. But we have dinner together, and we go to bed together, and we wake up together, and-"

And this was the part he didn't want to hear. "I get it. I get it." He exhaled as if the weight of the world had just been laid on him. "Babies."

"I'm not getting any younger, Dad. Every time we go somewhere, I'm taking a risk that my body might not come back the same way as when I left. That I won't even be able to have children."

"Sam, don't take this the wrong way, but I never thought having kids was a big priority for you."

"I didn't use to think so either, but now..."

"Now what?" The sinking feeling of not really wanting to know came back again.

"Now, after talking to Mark, and well, feeling..." She was searching for the right word, found it, but didn't like how it sounded, so just sighed again.

He wasn't going to let it drop. He used to be a General, after all. "Feeling what?"

"Incomplete."

That was enough. He unbuckled his seat belt, turned toward her as much as he could in the small space, and took her shoulders in his hands, "Samantha Carter, you are a lot of things - a genius, a fine officer, a great daughter, a good friend, and an amazing all-around person. But you are not incomplete."

"I feel like something's missing." Her eyes stared into his, "What else do you call it?"

And in that instant he heard Selmak's voice ringing in his ears. 'She's a woman, Jacob, and there are things she needs that the Air Force can't give her. Give her your blessing to go and find them, wherever they might be.'

His hands slid down her arms, his chin sinking toward his chest. "I don't know what you call it."

She settled back against her seat. "I don't know either, but I know I need more."

"What are you going to do?"

"I think I have to talk to General Hammond when I get back."

"Are you thinking of leaving the SGC?"

"God, no! That's not an option I want to consider."

"Then what?" And how long did it take for the beverage cart to get from on end of the plane to another?

"I think I need to be reassigned."

"To another team?"

"Maybe a science team. Or maybe to the lab, full-time. I don't know."

"What are you expecting to accomplish by leaving SG-1?"

"A regular schedule? A chance to date someone? Have a life where I'm not...'traveling' more than I'm at home."

The flight attendant mercifully appeared, and he exchanged his $4 for a can of beer. He didn't bother with the glass - it wouldn't last that long.

"You're disappointed, aren't you?"

"No. I'm surprised, that's all. It's not everyday your daughter tells you she wants to have children with a man she hasn't even met yet."

She smiled as she watched him drink down the can. "I didn't say that."

"Yes, you did. I remember the word "babies" coming from your mouth."

"No, Dad, the other part." She watched him turn his head and eye her suspiciously. "I didn't say you hadn't met him."

Oh god. Did he have $4 more?? "So, have I?"

She just looked at him with eyes that were asking him to make the connection so neither one of them had to say it out loud.

He did. "Oh."

"Nothing has ever happened, I swear."

"You don't owe me an explanation. I'm not your CO." Okay, bad choice of words there.

"I know I don't owe you one, I just wanted you to know."

"Does he know what you're considering?"

"No. I want this decision to be mine. Based on how I feel, regardless of how things may, or may not, turn out between us."

At least her logic was still in tact. She was making up her own mind based on her situation. Not giving anyone else a chance to weigh in with their opinion. Except him, for some reason. Why was that, he wondered? He usually got the news of what was going on with her well after the fact. Although, he had to admit, there wasn't usually anything going on. Hence the problem. "You know I'll support any decision you make, right?"

"Yeah, I do, but it's nice to hear."

"I love you, Sam, that won't ever change. No matter what you do or who you're with. Never."

"Thanks, Dad." He saw a tear slip down her cheek, as she lifted her lips to kiss his. Her head settled back on his shoulder until the plane descended.

******

The brief car ride from the airport to the base was silent. Not uncomfortable exactly, just heavy. Sam had said everything she wanted to say, and she correctly guessed that Jacob was saying everything he wanted to say to Selmak.

Once inside the mountain, Sam made a beeline for the General's office before she lost her nerve. Grateful that the base was relatively empty, even for a Saturday, Jacob decided to eat one last earth meal in peace before heading back to the Tok'ra. He had just loaded up his tray and was pouring a cup of coffee as he heard footsteps come up behind him.

"Jacob?"

"Hi, Jack." Of all people... Why him? Why today?

"I thought you were supposed to leave a few hours ago." Not that he was keeping track of the Carters' schedule or anything.

"Trying to get rid of me?" He settled at the first table and motioned for Jack to join him.

"No, no. I just thought you were due back earlier this afternoon." He grabbed a cup of coffee before settling across the table from Jacob.

"We were, but the airline had other ideas. We missed a connection and had to wait for a later flight."

"Where are the transporter rings when you need them?" He lifted the mug to his lips, decided it was too hot, and returned it to sit on the table.

Despite himself, Jacob grinned between forkfuls of meatloaf.

"So, how was the family?"

"Good. Everyone had a nice holiday." Until the plane ride home, that is. "You?"

"Hammond invited everyone left on base to his house for dinner, and yeah, it was nice." Maybe the nicest holiday he's had since Charlie. Except for the notable absence of his 2IC.

"It's quite a family you've all become to each other."

"Yes it is."

"I have to admit that at times I'm a little jealous of how close all of you are. The Tok'ra aren't exactly big on friendships."

"Really?" In his most sarcastic voice, "That's surprising."

"You know, Jack, they're really not as bad as you think."

He flashed Jacob a look that told him they would have to agree to disagree on that particular point. "So, where's Carter?"

"Talking with George."

"Something wrong?" The hairs on the back of his neck shot up.

"I guess I'll have to let her explain."

"What does that mean?" He decided a burned tongue was the price he had to pay for a sip of coffee.

"Exactly what I said."

Okay....

"Actually, Jack, I'm glad you're here."

Well, if he wasn't worried before, he was now.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Definitely starting to get nervous.

"It's about Sam."

Heart rate increasing, palms sweating.

"I know, as her CO, it's your job to look out for her in the field just like you do Teal'c and Jonas."

Remember to blink and breathe.

"But I know that you're all close friends, too. Very close."

Toes tapping. Fingers drumming.

"And I just wanted to ask - as a personal favor, nothing more - if you wouldn't mind checking up on her outside of work sometimes, too."

Motionless. Heart still racing. Throat tightening.

"I mean, I know you have a life, and that it's none of my business, but I don't think that you're seeing anyone, are you?"

Moving head back and forth. He could do this.

"So, maybe, from time to time, you could just, you know, pop in on her. Make sure she's not lonely or working too hard-"

"Jacob, " Yes, there was his voice. "I'm not sure what you're getting at here, but Carter is the most capable person I know. She can take care of herself and save the earth at the same time. She doesn't need me-"

"Yes she does, Jack." His eyes fixed themselves on the man across the table, "More than you know."

He didn't have an answer, so he just sat and watched Carter's dad drink his coffee. What in the hell had just happened here? Ironically, the one person that could probably explain it to him was the one person he wasn't *ever* going to talk to about this. Maybe he could just forget it ever happened. Like a bad dream.

"Well, I had better get back before the Tok'ra come looking for me."

"We don't want that now, do we?" Sense of humor still in tact.

"No, I'm sure you don't." He rose out of his seat, and as much to his surprise as to Jack's, he extended his hand.

Cautiously, Jack returned the gesture.

Holding a firm grip, "I know you can't control what happens on this planet anymore than you can control what happens out there. But promise me that you'll make sure... that she won't get hurt."

"Jacob, you know I can't promise-"

"Jack."

His wary eyes met Jacob's and saw the seriousness of the request that was being made of him. This wasn't about a mission or a chain of command. It wasn't even about Carter, really. It was about a father loving his daughter and needing to know that someone was watching out for her when he couldn't be there. And as Jack suspected Jacob already knew, he wasn't about to refuse. "I promise."

Jacob nodded his gratitude and released Jack's hand. Jack watched him leave the commissary and sunk back into his chair. He sat staring at the barely touched coffee in front of him. It grew colder as the seconds turned into minutes. He knew he should find Carter. Find out what she and Hammond were talking about. But his legs weren't cooperating. So, he just sat and waited. She had to come in eventually, didn't she? He chuckled a little to himself.

No, she could go the whole day before realizing she hadn't eaten.

And hadn't he just promised her father that he would look out for her well being? Couldn't back out of a promise, now could he? So, he grabbed two hot mugs of coffee and headed toward her lab.

*****

It just screams "sequel" doesn't it? Well you know what you have to do to get one- lisayaeger@hotmail.com




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